Ok, now I dont want anyone to call me bitchy but I officially ended things with my brazilian shagbuddy today since he did not seem to understand what "no" means. Last month he freaked me out by ringing at 3 am so frantically he broke my door bell. I could have forgiven him if he had said " oops sorry, I guess I was drunk/stoned/mistaken/sleepwalking " but when I confronted him about it the next day he denied it entirely even when I said I actually saw him ( I was hiding behind the window scared out of my witts ) ! He not only lied, which is very silly in this case, he accused me of making it up ! Ladies if a man starts telling you its your imagination instead of answering your questions, you know it is time to let go. That guy in particular is sexy and great in bed but I decided not to date him anymore because the type of irresponsible behaviour he is showing could escalade into something worse even uncontrollable. But I wanted to be nice about it so each time he would ask to see me I would always say no, I even pretended I had met somebody. When he asked me pointblank to shag him I texted back,
-sorry never gonna happen again, you know I dont do relationships.
This morning he came to the center and asked if we were done, I confirmed that we are. He held out his hand for me to shake and I said it was too silly he ought to give me a kiss on the cheek to say goodbye, a handshake is so formal.
But he walked away with his nose up in the air....Only to return a few minutes later to invite me for a coffee ! I said I really dont have time and my life is a little too complicated to have someone like him in it. I was trying to be diplomatic, I hope it will be enough. That guy is freaking me out now.
I always said it was gonna be sexual only, I did explain I was not interested in something long term or serious, he got some great rolls in the hay with me without any strings attached, what the f... does he want now ?
Have you noticed that when a man leaves you he just stubs your heart coldly and wont give any explanations but when a woman no longer wants to date a guy he gets very demanding and outraged ?
To make matter worse my official stalker just rang me out of the blue from a new number to ask me out, grrrrrrr is there any normal man around ?
I am so fed up with drama queens, stalkers, crazies and emotional fuck ups.
GRRRRR
Ladies of all age. Take the power back from men ! Follow my wonderful funny adventurous sex dates and learn............ Do not judge too harshly, I gave up on love after 2 heartbreaks and decided to live like a man. This might not work for everyone.... sure works for me! Im not saying we must all act like me, Im saying : it can be done and it is quite enpowering ! Because: Im the boss of my sexlife.
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This title and those texts are protected by law.
I am the boss of my sexlife, the Book has arrived !
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Monday, 15 August 2011
Monday, 1 August 2011
Drunken sex
We all know that drunken sex is a waste of everybody's time but I had a really cute experience last night.
My God-daughter and her fiancé were in Zurich and we decided to have a japanese dinner . We had a wonderful time and I loved seeing them so happy and so in love even after six years together, bless them.
Around eleven p.m. I started to walk home because it was such a lovely starry night. As I turned into the long street that leads to mine, I noticed a man sitting on the pavement and listening to music, I distinguished the apple green nylon jacket but couldnt see the actual features of the face but this is not something you want to do in the middle of the night with a stranger in the street anyway. I walked on quickly and set my mp3 to listen to Kylie Minogue. The man jumped up and run after me ! I nearly missed a heartbeat when he grabbed my arm.
Martin !
Suddenly my east german shagbuddy stood there before me in the middle of the night with a silly big grin and I realised he was drunk when he stumbled over me for a kiss.
-What are you doing here Martin ?
-I have been partying and I wanted to spend some time alone before going home.
-In the street ? Near my street ?
-Errr yeah. What are you listening to ?
-Errr Amy Winehouse ( I was embarrassed to be cought with romantic songs )
- Shall we have a walk in the park ?
He took my hand and we walked, or rather I walked and he zig.zaged, to the park till we found a bench.
It was pitch dark and we were all alone.
He was getting amorous and kept trying to undress me but I wouldnt let him. Years ago I dated an alcoholic and we often had al fresco sex in situations like this. I always gave in and hated myself afterwards. I had flashbacks of Carlos and freaked out, I straddled Martin and grabed his hands off my shirt.
-Shatz, do you remember what happened last saturday ?
-I'd rather not.
-You behaved like a primitive cro magnon and I'd like to understand why.
-I am embarassed to have treated you so brutally, I dont know why I did it.
-Because it didnt get too out of hand, Im willing to put it down to experience but I never want you to do this to me ever again. I dont like brutality at all.
-Ok
-I mean it ! Never again.
Martin's embarassement was genuine. I felt a wave of tenderness for him and deposited a small kiss on his forehead. He jumped and asked what I was doing.
-what do you mean ?
-You kissed my forehead, why did you kiss my forehead ?
-Is it that unpleasant ?
-No it just that it feels funny.
He was quite serious and asked me point blank :
-What was your childhood like ?
-What ?
-What's the name of your religion ?
-Why ?
-Because I wanna know.
-You are sooo drunk, lets go back to my place for a strong cup of coffee.
-Im not drunk.
-Oh you soooo are , come on.
I managed to walk back to my building with Martin wrapped around me. Later on in my kitchen I was making coffee while he kept kissing my back and tried to undress me. I led him to my balcony where I made him drink his coffee which he liked so much he even drank mine.
He was feeling better already and we could actually have a nice conversation.
Some men get agressive when they drink and some become over romantic and laugh a lot.
Im pleased to say Martin fits the second category just like my ex hubby does.
He gave me a long long languid kiss that made my head spin and said :
-I want your body, I want it now.
-You got it.
-I do ?
-Yeah.
We laid on my bed, in each other arms, making out slowly. He whispered that he loved my beautiful ass and my gorgeous breasts, my silky skin and my sweet lips and and ....and.
That felt so good !
The sex itself was not as explosive as usual but we came anyway before he fell asleep in my arms.
It was nice, warm and comfy. My cat jumped up and cuddled up to him. It was so cute watching them play together. When Martin left he was feeling so much better as when he had stumbled in, walking upright and smiling, blowing me air kisses from the stair case. Was is destiny that put me on his path ? Or was he waiting in my street hoping to see me ? Was he looking for a dignified way to apologize ? I have no idea but it turned out nicely.
-
My God-daughter and her fiancé were in Zurich and we decided to have a japanese dinner . We had a wonderful time and I loved seeing them so happy and so in love even after six years together, bless them.
Around eleven p.m. I started to walk home because it was such a lovely starry night. As I turned into the long street that leads to mine, I noticed a man sitting on the pavement and listening to music, I distinguished the apple green nylon jacket but couldnt see the actual features of the face but this is not something you want to do in the middle of the night with a stranger in the street anyway. I walked on quickly and set my mp3 to listen to Kylie Minogue. The man jumped up and run after me ! I nearly missed a heartbeat when he grabbed my arm.
Martin !
Suddenly my east german shagbuddy stood there before me in the middle of the night with a silly big grin and I realised he was drunk when he stumbled over me for a kiss.
-What are you doing here Martin ?
-I have been partying and I wanted to spend some time alone before going home.
-In the street ? Near my street ?
-Errr yeah. What are you listening to ?
-Errr Amy Winehouse ( I was embarrassed to be cought with romantic songs )
- Shall we have a walk in the park ?
He took my hand and we walked, or rather I walked and he zig.zaged, to the park till we found a bench.
It was pitch dark and we were all alone.
He was getting amorous and kept trying to undress me but I wouldnt let him. Years ago I dated an alcoholic and we often had al fresco sex in situations like this. I always gave in and hated myself afterwards. I had flashbacks of Carlos and freaked out, I straddled Martin and grabed his hands off my shirt.
-Shatz, do you remember what happened last saturday ?
-I'd rather not.
-You behaved like a primitive cro magnon and I'd like to understand why.
-I am embarassed to have treated you so brutally, I dont know why I did it.
-Because it didnt get too out of hand, Im willing to put it down to experience but I never want you to do this to me ever again. I dont like brutality at all.
-Ok
-I mean it ! Never again.
Martin's embarassement was genuine. I felt a wave of tenderness for him and deposited a small kiss on his forehead. He jumped and asked what I was doing.
-what do you mean ?
-You kissed my forehead, why did you kiss my forehead ?
-Is it that unpleasant ?
-No it just that it feels funny.
He was quite serious and asked me point blank :
-What was your childhood like ?
-What ?
-What's the name of your religion ?
-Why ?
-Because I wanna know.
-You are sooo drunk, lets go back to my place for a strong cup of coffee.
-Im not drunk.
-Oh you soooo are , come on.
I managed to walk back to my building with Martin wrapped around me. Later on in my kitchen I was making coffee while he kept kissing my back and tried to undress me. I led him to my balcony where I made him drink his coffee which he liked so much he even drank mine.
He was feeling better already and we could actually have a nice conversation.
Some men get agressive when they drink and some become over romantic and laugh a lot.
Im pleased to say Martin fits the second category just like my ex hubby does.
He gave me a long long languid kiss that made my head spin and said :
-I want your body, I want it now.
-You got it.
-I do ?
-Yeah.
We laid on my bed, in each other arms, making out slowly. He whispered that he loved my beautiful ass and my gorgeous breasts, my silky skin and my sweet lips and and ....and.
That felt so good !
The sex itself was not as explosive as usual but we came anyway before he fell asleep in my arms.
It was nice, warm and comfy. My cat jumped up and cuddled up to him. It was so cute watching them play together. When Martin left he was feeling so much better as when he had stumbled in, walking upright and smiling, blowing me air kisses from the stair case. Was is destiny that put me on his path ? Or was he waiting in my street hoping to see me ? Was he looking for a dignified way to apologize ? I have no idea but it turned out nicely.
-
Sunday, 24 July 2011
My crasy night with Jekyll and Hyde
My east german shagbuddy and I had been tiptoeing around each other all week. Yesterday I knew he would come and I turned down three hot men whom I know to be fabulous lovers who are free of complications because I wanted my fucked up drama queen. There he was, on fire. He just jumped out of his clothes and practically run to my bedroom. He had been wanting this since last sunday but I wasnt free when he was and he had been off drinking when I was. But there we were now, Martin admired my new red beddings that matched my red gstring and at first we kissed and cuddled slowly and romantically for long moments filled with sensuous desire and.....no wood. He admited he was recovering from a hangover and that affected his erectile function. ( If he knows drinking shots tempers his erections, then why does he keep on drinking ? ) I purred that it didnt matter and that we can make each other happy anyway. And we did !
He kissed my feet and sucked my toes till my head was almost spinning and asked if a man had ever done that to me, I said once but not as good as he does. He kissed and cupped every inch of me and we rolled over a few times laughing.
He got back on top of me and said that this really was my favourite position, I replied that yes I love that position but I also like it when Im on top or when he is on the side or when we are sitting up or when we.
Martin, cupped my head and asked pointblank :
You in love with me ? right ?
I stared back totally speechless.
Maybe a little bit in love with me ? ja ?
Why would you say that ? I asked, trying to gain time, not knowing what to say.
You look at me that way and you love it when we have sex, you get so out of control.
So that's how men measure girls love ? We really are different species !
You look at me the same way and you also love having sex with me so does that mean that you ?
Are you in love with me ?
Martin shut me off with some hard french kissing till I could barely breathe.
What was I supposed to say ? " I could love you but you are a fucked up, complicated, complex, compelling, annoying east german drama queen ? "
I worked hard to fall out of love with him and I finally get to enjoy him on my terms. About six weeks ago he once said I didnt actually have him so why does he start a discussion about love that he is not capable of finishing ? It would have been rude to say no, it would have scared him away if I had said yes. Why did he put me on the spot like that ? Is he too dumb to understand love terrifies me ?
After this weird non discussion about love, he went from romantic to insane mode. He had a smoke on my balcony, stark naked. Did he not feel the cold ? Hopefully no one was at their window at one am. As he returned to bed he asked if he could take his pillows (my breasts) home with him, I giggled and he began to fondle them and kiss them, and fondle them more until he was frantically squeezing them as if he really wanted to detach them. His kisses did not feel like kisses at all, it was as he was trying to devour me and suffocate me at the same time. He would come up for air asking who needs air anyway and dive back down on me. I couldnt move as he was pinning me to the bed almost agressively. That was not enjoyable at all. I barely recognised the sweet lover that had asked me if I loved him half an hour before. This was a raw Cro Magnon who was brutally taking what he wanted and ignored my complaining nos. At some point he left the bedroom. He returned fully dressed to say he had thought of sleeping here but would be going home after all, and he wanted me to think of him.
Say what ?
Somehow that turned me on and I just pulled him back on my bed with all his clothes on.
Bad idea.
By now he was in full Neanderthalian mode and just jumped on me, twisting, biting and groping brutally, biting my neck painfully , bruising my breasts and thighs.
I hated what he was doing to me but at the same time I couldnt bear to let him go !
Martin was treating me like his sex toy, like his rubber doll, and I was furious, shouting at him in french to let go of me. Paradoxally when he climbed out of my body and walked to the door , I run after him naked and held him tight in my arms. He dropped his back pack and dragged me into the living room where some more madness took place. Again I wanted him to leave because he was really hurting me but some unidentified part of me wanted him more and more even if it hurt.
Look at you, Martin sighed , You are besides yourself. I have never seen you like this.
Besides myself ? Im not the one biting and groping here.
I answered You have been dressed up for nearly an hour yet you cant seem to leave, why ?
His reaction was to kiss me up and down slowly gently, lovingly.
It felt surreal, this fully dressed giant on his knees kissing my naked body. Then we reversed roles and he was moaning so loud that I sincerely hoped all the neighbours were either out partying or deeply sleeping. I stopped when Martin said it was hurting.
Hurting ? But you were almost coming ? How painful could it be ?
I know, that's so bizzare, it hurts but it feels good at the same time. I want it and I dont then I want it.
So he too had been feeling this ambivalence. Or maybe he is just bipolar.
Do you ever masturbate thinking of me ? Martin smiled.
No, I never masturbate.
What if I want you to ?
I said no ! If you want any action with me, come here and we'll do it together. I insisted.
Hmmm sounds good to me, he flirted.
That night was getting weirder and weirder. Now I really wanted him to leave.
Kuss mich, ( kiss me) he ordered in a low intimate voice.
He stood so close with face inches away from mine, crazy love burning in his half closed eyes.
I complied and it was all going to start again when my achy body reminded me that I was dealing with Mister Hyde tonight. He needs to go now, I thought , while his long bony hands started to roughly explore my bruised body again.
What do you say when you want a man to leave ?
You ask him to stay.
Cheri, I whispered, stay here tonight , we can play some more then go to sleep and have morning sex....you like that dont you ? Come on stay, dont go....
Man's natural instinct to not do as he is asked kicked in and he left, after kissing me so hard I could barely breathe.
Once alone, I rolled up in a foetal position with my cat in my arms wondering what had happened here tonight. What should I feel ? Why did he do that ? Shall I see him again ? Will he realise how he acted ?
This morning I could barely get up. my body is covered in bruises, specially my breasts and there are some hematomas on my neck and jaw where he bit me. Is the dude crasy or was that a reaction to my not answering his question last night ? I truely dont understand what we did last night.
P.S.
One week later as I walked home from dinner in town, I noticed a man sitting on the street, listening to his Ipod. As I quickened my pace, the man got up and jumped on me ! Before getting too scared I realised it was Martin, stone drunk . almost falling down me while trying to kiss me. We walked hand in hand to a park and talked. This was his way to handle this was to overdrink as to not being accountable but I talked about it anyway. He was so embarrassed and couldn't explained his actions, I said if it ever happens again I will never talk to him ever again, he noded silently and we sealed with a kiss.
He kissed my feet and sucked my toes till my head was almost spinning and asked if a man had ever done that to me, I said once but not as good as he does. He kissed and cupped every inch of me and we rolled over a few times laughing.
He got back on top of me and said that this really was my favourite position, I replied that yes I love that position but I also like it when Im on top or when he is on the side or when we are sitting up or when we.
Martin, cupped my head and asked pointblank :
You in love with me ? right ?
I stared back totally speechless.
Maybe a little bit in love with me ? ja ?
Why would you say that ? I asked, trying to gain time, not knowing what to say.
You look at me that way and you love it when we have sex, you get so out of control.
So that's how men measure girls love ? We really are different species !
You look at me the same way and you also love having sex with me so does that mean that you ?
Are you in love with me ?
Martin shut me off with some hard french kissing till I could barely breathe.
What was I supposed to say ? " I could love you but you are a fucked up, complicated, complex, compelling, annoying east german drama queen ? "
I worked hard to fall out of love with him and I finally get to enjoy him on my terms. About six weeks ago he once said I didnt actually have him so why does he start a discussion about love that he is not capable of finishing ? It would have been rude to say no, it would have scared him away if I had said yes. Why did he put me on the spot like that ? Is he too dumb to understand love terrifies me ?
After this weird non discussion about love, he went from romantic to insane mode. He had a smoke on my balcony, stark naked. Did he not feel the cold ? Hopefully no one was at their window at one am. As he returned to bed he asked if he could take his pillows (my breasts) home with him, I giggled and he began to fondle them and kiss them, and fondle them more until he was frantically squeezing them as if he really wanted to detach them. His kisses did not feel like kisses at all, it was as he was trying to devour me and suffocate me at the same time. He would come up for air asking who needs air anyway and dive back down on me. I couldnt move as he was pinning me to the bed almost agressively. That was not enjoyable at all. I barely recognised the sweet lover that had asked me if I loved him half an hour before. This was a raw Cro Magnon who was brutally taking what he wanted and ignored my complaining nos. At some point he left the bedroom. He returned fully dressed to say he had thought of sleeping here but would be going home after all, and he wanted me to think of him.
Say what ?
Somehow that turned me on and I just pulled him back on my bed with all his clothes on.
Bad idea.
By now he was in full Neanderthalian mode and just jumped on me, twisting, biting and groping brutally, biting my neck painfully , bruising my breasts and thighs.
I hated what he was doing to me but at the same time I couldnt bear to let him go !
Martin was treating me like his sex toy, like his rubber doll, and I was furious, shouting at him in french to let go of me. Paradoxally when he climbed out of my body and walked to the door , I run after him naked and held him tight in my arms. He dropped his back pack and dragged me into the living room where some more madness took place. Again I wanted him to leave because he was really hurting me but some unidentified part of me wanted him more and more even if it hurt.
Look at you, Martin sighed , You are besides yourself. I have never seen you like this.
Besides myself ? Im not the one biting and groping here.
I answered You have been dressed up for nearly an hour yet you cant seem to leave, why ?
His reaction was to kiss me up and down slowly gently, lovingly.
It felt surreal, this fully dressed giant on his knees kissing my naked body. Then we reversed roles and he was moaning so loud that I sincerely hoped all the neighbours were either out partying or deeply sleeping. I stopped when Martin said it was hurting.
Hurting ? But you were almost coming ? How painful could it be ?
I know, that's so bizzare, it hurts but it feels good at the same time. I want it and I dont then I want it.
So he too had been feeling this ambivalence. Or maybe he is just bipolar.
Do you ever masturbate thinking of me ? Martin smiled.
No, I never masturbate.
What if I want you to ?
I said no ! If you want any action with me, come here and we'll do it together. I insisted.
Hmmm sounds good to me, he flirted.
That night was getting weirder and weirder. Now I really wanted him to leave.
Kuss mich, ( kiss me) he ordered in a low intimate voice.
He stood so close with face inches away from mine, crazy love burning in his half closed eyes.
I complied and it was all going to start again when my achy body reminded me that I was dealing with Mister Hyde tonight. He needs to go now, I thought , while his long bony hands started to roughly explore my bruised body again.
What do you say when you want a man to leave ?
You ask him to stay.
Cheri, I whispered, stay here tonight , we can play some more then go to sleep and have morning sex....you like that dont you ? Come on stay, dont go....
Man's natural instinct to not do as he is asked kicked in and he left, after kissing me so hard I could barely breathe.
Once alone, I rolled up in a foetal position with my cat in my arms wondering what had happened here tonight. What should I feel ? Why did he do that ? Shall I see him again ? Will he realise how he acted ?
This morning I could barely get up. my body is covered in bruises, specially my breasts and there are some hematomas on my neck and jaw where he bit me. Is the dude crasy or was that a reaction to my not answering his question last night ? I truely dont understand what we did last night.
P.S.
One week later as I walked home from dinner in town, I noticed a man sitting on the street, listening to his Ipod. As I quickened my pace, the man got up and jumped on me ! Before getting too scared I realised it was Martin, stone drunk . almost falling down me while trying to kiss me. We walked hand in hand to a park and talked. This was his way to handle this was to overdrink as to not being accountable but I talked about it anyway. He was so embarrassed and couldn't explained his actions, I said if it ever happens again I will never talk to him ever again, he noded silently and we sealed with a kiss.
Wednesday, 20 July 2011
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