Dont tolerate harrasment from a psychopath.

Last night I had a really scary experience. One brazilian psychopath frightened me good and proper.
Last summer I had dated him for one week, first out of curiosity because I had never had a brazilian before and also because I was desperate to disconnect from my east german shagbuddy who was becoming more and more important in my life. When he crossed the line by ringing by bell unexpected in the wee hours of the morning and then refused to admit it, I realise he was very unstable and broke up gently and diplomatically. In july. We are now in december.
He did pester me on the phone and at the center practically begging me to sleep with him, sometimes threatening me when I made it clear that will not happen again. In the past couple of months he seemed to have understood and he left me alone, great was my joy .
Imagine my horror when last night at 11.15 pm I get a text from that stupid psycho saying he is on his way to my house now !
I was schocked and rang him to tell him off. It felt like talking to a brick wall.
I was doing my best not to sound afraid, which I admit I was.
I asked what was wrong with him, he said why ?
I coldly said that he cannot invite himself like this even if he is drunk or on drugs or on whatever, was he kidding me ?
He kept answering that there was no reason not to and that he would be there in 5 minutes, I screamed that no he wasnt and he repeated that he would be there in 5 minutes and that I better come down.
Then he put the phone down on me.
So we have someone who is not only delusional, rude, void of any sense of pride or dignity and lives in total denial. In other words someone very dangerous. Because if this goes to court his lawyer will plead temporary insanity.
Still I stood my grounds and put on a sweaters and some jeans in case the police needed to come. I was ready to call the police if he actually pounded on my door.
I also prayed intensely.
At 2 am I actually fell asleep with my phone still in my hand. Nothing happened.
Im not sure what happened but I hated it. Feeling threatened in my own home ? really ?
If this happens again I will have to involve the police at some point.
Ladies, if you have a psychopath stalker problem, whatever you do, dont let him into your house or your car. You never know what they might do. Just refuse them access to your body and to your place. It may not be enough to get rid of him but it is much better thant the alternative.
Be strong and dont tolerate harassment.

Nerds can be hot, who knew ?

I had the surprise of my life yesterday. After a flu and a bad cold, I had a three weeks dry spell. Shagbuddy number two would not go anywhere near me as long as I had this cold, and I absolutely cannot call back shagbuddy number one after I have been  ignoring  him each saturday for the past two months. I want nothing to do with my two former stalkers and there in nothing new on the market lately. Everyone is either married or taken.
The usual guys hit on me again and again but I really dont feel turned on by this as it robs me of the fun of hunting.
I  rang Mike, this really really hot nigerian that I hadnt seen in many months and when I sweet talked him into a date, he answered that now that he is 36, he wants to have a woman of his own. A woman who loves and support him, not just a playmate, and by the way it is my fault if we dont have a relationthip because this and this and this. I wished Mike well and grabbed my cat for a cuddle in front of a romantic comedy.
Bloody men !
Yesterday I felt so horny I even told a girlfriend at lunch that if I did not find anyone nice to hump soon, I would jump on the post man if I had to.
Finally I saw someone staring at me at the food counter where we were filling our plates. He looked like a older student, the kind who goes to school well in his thirties and still lives and dress like a college kid.
He was slightly taller than me, slim, wore glasses and had a sweet shy smile. What was I suppose to do with that ? He initiated a conversation about bio vegetables and I notice he had intelligent green eyes and a receeding hairline. Everyone knows I am not into smart men but I was desperately horny and he was something new. We exchanged numbers and he promissed to call later. When he did I pretended to want to show him this extremely interesting nutrition book and he pretended he really wanted to borrow it, right now.....
James turned up ten minutes after our phone call, he was parked right in front of my building. We had some tea and small talk, I wondered what I was doing since he was not all all my type of man. Everything about him screamed intellectual nerdy computer geek but......
But I liked the way he looked at me, with gentleness and his voice felt like a caress on my skin. I took the initiative to cup his face between my hands and kissed  him and  then.....fireworks started.
Undressing me slowly, kissing my body voluptuously, driving me crasy with desire and making it last. Wow, there is a lot to be said for nerds. Once the glasses were off, his green eyes were feasting on my face. After we climaxed together, I just laid there holding him in my arms. He cupped my breast and kissed my eyelids gently.  I couldnt help noticing that he had surprisingly rough hands for a man possesing such culture. James asked where I was and I did tell him it was funny how his speech and his look screamed office worker but his hands said farm labourer.
James giggled and revealed that he is in fact a surgeon ! He often needs to scrub and disinfect his hands and that what ruins his skin.
A surgeon !
Last time I dated a surgon I was so bored we didnt go beyong kissing and I found an excuse to leave.
James, however,  really does not look surgeony at all, with his black jeans and his laptop in a blue backpack. I always maintained educated men were lousy in bed but James changed my opinion now. He marvelled at being so relaxed and making love to a complete stranger in the early evening instead of focusing on his many responsibilities and working hard all the time like a good surgeon should, I pointed out that he is absolutely entitled to have some pleasure break occasionally, this should help keep him on top of things and stress free. As he left, he turned around for a last kiss. We know it is only a one shot but it felt soooooo good, especially after such a long dry spell. This morning I googled him and discovered that he said the truth, yeap some men do that, but he is bigger that he said.  Two  surgeries in two cities and he is so humble about it ? Nerds are definetely worth doing. Yay nerds !

selfish lover alert !

Hey everyone ! 
I have been revoltingly inactive these past few days. The reason for it is a nasty cold. Last time I checked, a big red nose and a manly voice did not help score new hotties in bed. I have spent time reading, promoting my own book and cuddling with my loving cat who purrs me into getting better and better every day. My east german ex bit of fun has been pestering me each saturday night, using the power of words to make me fall back into his drama queenness all over again.
But :
First I am not in the mood right now, cough, cough ! Second, I want something new to play with !
And even if Volker was the last sexy drama queen in town, I worked too hard to unglue him off me, to go in reverse now. Usually I dont even answer, unless he texts that he is on his way and I will tell a little fib to keep him away. This sunday however, as I awoke in a romantic cloud of menthol chest rub gel and nasal spray, I actually wrote back that I have a really bad cold and the only thing rising in my bed is my temperature.
What do you think he answered ?
----------------------------------------
That's right.
He answered nothing at all.
Even if I had been tempted to do something stupid like letting him back in my life or in my bed, this inaction reminded me that he is capable of monstruous selfishness. Therefore he will just have to carry on wanking off to my picture like he does when I turn him down, remembering my embrace when he still had access to it.
Is there something worse than a selfish lover ? Yes, falling for him again !
Someone who is the boss of her sexlife does not make this mistake twice.
nope,nope,nope.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else : )

We all know this saying, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Well it works but it requires some efforts on your part too. Of course if you jump on the first hot thing you spot while you still have someone on your mind it wont work at all. You will have fun at first but chances are you will have flashbacks of your former lover and even if you do manage to climax, you will be flooded with pictures and memories that will take away the pleasure you got from your rebound screw. At first, you need to think long and hard about the guy, why you want out of this connection. Why it is impossible for you to carry on seeing him. This may take a few days.
Once you are feeling good about severing that man from your lovelife/sexlife/social life/life and you even successfully managed to say no to him the few times he came back with his tail between his legs, pretending he didnt know he blew his chances with you. Only then , can you really apply this technique and fully enjoy it. That's where I am now. Walking away from my east German drama queen was not exactly pleasant, it was like quitting smoking or drinking , cold turkey.
You are fully aware it is bad for you but you still need the buzz. You convince yourself that maybe one last time wont harm. Just to comfirm that you are off the stuff. Just to show the S.O.B. what he has lost.
One last time.
But if you are honnest with yourself you do know that this never works. Ever.
As long as there is still desire there, as long as your body craves his hands, his lips, his....
Anyway, as long as you still want to screw him, keep away as far away as you can. Specially if he is being really nice, reminding you of why you had fancied him in the first place. Martin has done this to me twice now and it was my own fault for not telling him to f*** off.
Since that last desastrous night together, I realised he was taking too much importance in my life and gaining some kind of power over me. Therefore I decided to cut him off my sexlife.
Sure he is great in bed but he is not the only one. First I ran to my favourite shagbuddie Igor and had tons of hot sex with him. Didnt help much but at least I was too tired to think, lol.
Martin has made 3 attempts at seducing me back, he knows something is wrong but probably too stupid or too unsensitive to identify what it is.
Each time, I made excuse not to see him and I run to Igor to work some calories off.
Saturday night I hosted a lovely familly dinner, cooked my yummy almond filled mushrooms and some delicious meat and onion pies. There was so much love around, my cat kept purring and my son and his girlfriend were so sweet to watch, holding hands and kissing, My daughter and her man spoke happilly of their wedding plans. I felt so loved and so fulfilled.
Right after they left , Martin started texting and sexting me , non stop. I never answered.
I felt so good and so......balanced that I actually did not feel the craving this time, I eventually texted back with an excuse when he wrote he was coming over right now. I was cool about it and he was very flirty but I didnt care. But he kept texting till 1 am, even sending me naughty pics of himself.
I was pleased that he still wanted me, even blushed when he said that if I didnt let him see me tonight he would do it with his right hand. But I was delighted to have the last word and stand my ground.
Show you who the boss is, bitch !
Next day however I re read all his messages and felt so aroused I run over to Igor's place where we had really hot sex during which I had no bitch flashbacks at all !
Yay me !
That's when getting under someone else works ! Sure worked for me.

When you are single you have more time for yourself

Yesterday was my birthday, I am now 51 years old and still fabulous ! My bday celebration was wonderful but I will keep the details to myself. However I must share with you something one of my sister in law said to me. We were talking about my book and about the next one I am currently writing ( That will take at least a year ), my job, my familly life, my social life, my dating life, my practicing zumba and my voluntary work. Debbie said she swears she does not know how I do it. I get so much done and I even have time for hobbies and holls ! She doesnt know how I do it. I was smiling proudly when she added.... maybe it is because you dont have a man to look after ? lol.
I thought a lot about what my sister in law said and came to the conclusion that yes, she is right. It is because I dont have a man to look after that I have all that time for myself. Besides my 9 hours a day job and my couple of hour a week volontary work, I have so much time for me. I can go to a movie or eat some sushis in the street while queuing up for the bus. I can facebook or blog or watch telly all night if I want to. I can organize impromptue home dinners with mates or go on a date if I feel like it. My laundry is quickly done, my hoover doesnt demand to be fed everyday. Once my cat has eaten and my appartment looks a little civilised, I have no obligations whatsoever. Yay !
I really dont know what some single women are complaing about, there is so much out there that we dont have time to be lonely. And when there is absolutely nothing to do, I can actually rest or lazy around in my bubble bath.
Ever since I got Volker out of my head I have been blessed with waves upon waves of creativity and energy. I am not saying we should all be single but I am saying loud and clear that being single is a really cool way to live and I am not letting any men threatening that happyness.
Man I love being single !