When a man breaks your trust, quit him.

Once  trust has been broken you can not ever get it back.

A very wise and clever young man told me this :

" Sometimes you know a woman is not right for you but you still have to have her not matter what, you will do and say absolutely anything to conquer her and once she is yours.... after a while, reason will kick in and you will realise that you need to let her go because of such and such reasons that will make your life better or quieter without her in it.
Someday you realise something is missing and you can no longer deny you miss her terribly.
You simply must have her back. Passion takes over and you will apologise and plead and beg and provoke and threaten and make promises you know you cannot keep. You will even argue and use reverse psychology , if you have to you will fight to gain her trust again.
You must have your girl back at all cost, including hers.
For a while you are happy but then somehow....reality bites you in the bum and you remember that the two of you just don't function together outside a bed and you will again walk away from her, breaking her trust and wrecking  her altogether.
This is a vicious circle that might happen just once or repeat itself many times and it never ends well.
Someone always gets hurt if it does not stop in time. "

A lot of men and women go through this. I certainly have at least twice, men somehow land on their feet and get the best of both worlds. Most of us women feel devastated at losing their shred of happiness each time.
What can we do to protect ourselves against this delicious Sisyphus rock ?
Do not take him back
Do not take him back
Do not take him back

Sex with an ex can be excruciating if one of you still has feelings for the other.
Igor wants me, even after all he said, the cheating , the lies and the pathetic attempt at domination. Igor still wants me. So sure was he of the power of his huge manhood, that he thought he could do such a number on me and come back into my arms with a flashy smile and all would be forgiven.
I reacted in a way Igor did not expect. I used the good old silent treatment trick.
Yes it still works in 2013.
At first he tried casual friendly texting.
Silence.
Then he asked me out in a flirtatious way.
Silence.
Then he texted a heartfelt apology for having hurt my feelings.
Silence.
Now he is trying to manipulate me, scare me, force a reaction out of me, control me.
Silence.
I really can not  shag Igor anymore. I would still want him but I can never trust him again. How could I relax in his arms while I would be wondering when he is going to pull the macho crap or if he is going to say something hurtful ? How could I come when I would have to constantly anticipate his attacks ? I am just not going to risk it, instead I shall accept that when a man betrays your trust ..... you just don't give him another chance to hurt you again.
Sex with an ex ? No thanks.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

I feel so much better, I am the boss of my sexlife again.

I have a smile on my face and a song in my heart.
After pondering for nearly 2 weeks, should I still see the treacherous son of a bitch ? should I tell him to sod off ? Should I call him to give him the shag of his life and then break up ? Should I explain that I don't like the feelings he is triggering in my heart ? I know that if I just ignore him, he will find a clever way to sneak back in my bed because Igor is unfortunately very intelligent. And if I carry on sleeping with him there will be unspoken resentments which will lessen the quality of our rapport.
He said he wants both that woman and me in his life, he is taking control. So do not like the sound of this.
What to do in such a case ?
I decided to break the spell and picked someone nice to have a romantic moment with.
All my frustration evaporated ! I could feel the tension being released after a few kisses.
It felt so good to be desired by a cool man who thinks I am beautiful and worth it.
This may sound like I used that new guy as a rebound and I guess I have, but I did make it clear to him that I am not wanting a relationship and he was fine with that.
It is important to be honest  about these sort of things.
He made me feel so great in everyway during that hour date that I went home with a big silly grin on my face and I stopped talking to Igor in my head ever since.
My gay friends always say the best way to get over someone is getting under someone else and I am happy to confirm it is so.
I will have a break from Igor or diplomatically let go of him with some great excuses, but whatever I decide, it wont be awkward or hurtful anymore. YES ! Feels good to be the boss again !
Check my ebook here

I tried to be monogamous and got bit in the bum !

Oops I almost did it again !
Ever since I have been so  impressed with the tons of absolutely fabulous sex that incredible bloke gives me,  I decided to re experience keeping myself monogamous ! So satisfied am I , that I keep turning everyone down, I feel no desire for anyone else at the moment because he is extraordinary enough to keep me interested in him only, right now.
However !
I should know better by now. Each time I have been trying to be a good girl, it bits me in the bum. For a while I have been dating him exclusively and I loved it, there is this revitalising energy that sparkles through our bodies when we touch and it fills me so much that I carry this glow for days and days. When we talk on the phone or chat on webcam, I find myself giggling like a school girl and a cute email on my blackberry in the morning is enough to make me smile and have fantastic shag flashbacks. This came naturally, I didn't even have to force myself to feel this way.
Till this morning....... I got a wake up call.
We were having a romantic sexy bubble bath when he casually dropped that even if I wanted to have unprotected sex now he would have to say no to me.
WTF ??? I wondered. I haven't asked anything.
By the way , he said, I have a lover in Geneva that I see on weekends and we are doing it bareback.
I nearly jumped out of the bath tub but he grabbed me and held me tight, while explaining between kisses and caresses that it has nothing to do with us, she is the day part of his life and I am the dark secret. She is all the serious tedious stuff and I am pure pleasure.
Obviously, since he wanted bareback sex and I refused it to him, he jumped on the first slut who accepted the offer I had turned down. It doesn't mean I should compromise my values just out of fears he might dip it elsewhere. And I don't regret not giving in. But I do wish he hadn't told me about this.
This was his way of apologising and I accepted it as such but I don't understand why he had to tell me this crap while we are making love. I almost got out of the tub several times but he kept shagging me while explaining and reasoning and analysing our sex friendship. Until I ordered :
Shut the fuck up and do me already !
He had no idea that I was being monogamous with him and  was flabbergasted.
Why ? why me ? he wanted to know.
Because you are the only man who is good enough for me since the last man I have loved.
He never asked for this, if he had I would have declined, but this was my decision and I had no agenda at all. It just felt good, that's all. I have fond memories of most of the people I have slept with.
Some I will always love, some I miss terribly, some were unique and magical like the gorgeous man I spend a night in Paris with, ages ago. or that lawyer who looked like a young Mickey Rourke, or that beautifull translater who never spoke to me ever again although our offices are 10 minutes apart.
A couple of them I do wish I could unfuck.
All this to tell you how rare it is for me to give someone exclusivity. And I end up being cheated on !
I know I have no right at all to complain but I do find it ironic that every time I decide to be a good girl... the universe bites me in the bum.
Are we going to keep seeing each other ? ( on my terms) How comfortable would I be ? Am I gonna snap out of this stupid feeling ? Why do I even mind ? Should I be more distant ? Should I forbid myself to let a lover get too close for comfort ? I don't want to feel that vulnerable !
check my ebook here

When fantastic sex makes you feel great for weeks

Have you ever had sex that is so good and fulfilling that it keeps you satisfied for weeks ? This is what Im feeling right now. My favourite shag buddy and I had this absolutely steamy, yummy and explosive love making afternoon at the beginning of the month and it was sooooooo extraordinary that I turned down invitations from other men all month.
Why did I do that ? I am not in any way or never will I be involved or bonded to him at all , well maybe fluid bonded but is to do with sexual trust not commitment nor obligations.
He so gave himself to me so very completely and took me as if I were his birthday present that, although I have always enjoyed  shagging him and liked him an awful lot, this time I was impressed in such a way that I have not felt any desire for anyone else but him ever since.
We were only together a couple of times this month yet..... sex with him is soooooooooooo  fabulous that the oceans of pleasure he gives me are carrying me  through and right now no other man but him can turn me on sexually. I feel full as if I had had a magnificent 5 course meal and everyone else was trying to tempt me with a hot dog, I am just not famished after such a world class fuck. I don't know how long I will feel like this but I am just going to enjoy it for now. Normally I would fight this off because I really don't want another Martin situation but since we are not in love and not likely to be, I can savour this delicious feeling  without fearing how high the price will be. What makes sex with this very man so exceptional now ? We have been sleeping together on and off for years and it has always been fantastic but right now..... it is like he can read my thoughts when we make love and each time he is as seductive as if it were a first date. Add a lot of trust in the mix and you will only have a hint of how good Igor gives it to me and I to him.
And all this sexual bliss without the agony of love ! Yay !

From nice guy to jerk within a month

Last month I met a real hottie who sold himself as cuddly, giggly, romantic and almost clumsy because of not having dated in a while.
He was lovely, warm , sexy and very nice. I had such a great time but I thought something was wrong when Yassin whispered " I love you " in my ear after the first time we had sex. Not wanting to start a discussion about how unrealistic it was to pretend to love people you hardly know and sleep with once, I acted as if I hadn't heard it. He said it again and again on the second and third date, till I could no longer ignore it and diplomatically explained that he did not have to do that. I already liked him enough to sleep with him, therefore he needed not pretending to say stuff like that. It became a joke when he would giggle : 
" I looooove yoooooou " and I would laugh back
" liar, liar pants on fire, lol "
That was fine.
As he realised he couldn't pull the I.L.Y. trick on me, he began asking me if I were happy. What do you say to a lover who is so hot and so cuddly ? I always batted my eyelids and answered that yes I was very happy.
Is that what made him think I might be victim material ?
Almost overnight Yassin became a jerk.
He cancelled a date, using work as an excuse. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, once, twice, three times and I asked him what the deal was, Is he married ? does he have a girlfriend ?
It is ok, I lied, just tell me if that's the case and we will work it out. (right !) 
He acted all offended, was I crazy ? How could I imagine such a thing of him ? and so on. I pretended to believe him in order to keep things simple but I filed it in my mental " things I don't like about you "  file, I keep on each new lover. the next day he just rang and asked if I was home, I was doing my tax returns, wearing flannels and looking awful, but I was home.
Open up, he ordered, Im downstairs.
Oh man ! there was such a mess everywhere and I looked so unsexy. Within 5 minutes I brushed my teeth, jumped in a flimsy summer dress, splashed cold water on my face and pushed all my books and forms to one side of the brown leather couch I was sipping tea  on while doing paperwork. Yassin waltzed in like he owned the place and went straight to my kitchen to help himself to a cup of tea. Did I mention my kitchen was a disgrace ? I hadn't done the dishes in three days, there was fresh laundry hanging out to dry and a few dirty cups of coffee on the table. Mortified, I told him to follow me in the living room. First he was nice and romantic
I miss you, he said in between kisses.
Hmm I miss you too, I gasped.
He liked my short sun dress and was getting very amorous but I was not in the mood that day and I showed him what was on the couch, explaining that when I am into paperwork I cant be stopped , would he like to come back later or the next evening ?
He was not listening anymore and his hands had their own agenda.
I pushed him away re explaining that now was not a good time and that I was not in the mood.
He had the audacity to ask for a quickie, a privilege I only grant my shag-buddy Igor.
No, I insisted  coldly, either you give me everything or I give you nothing.
Fine, he smiled cheekily as he got up and stood in front of me.
How about a blowjob ? undoing his fly.
Dude ! Are you stupid or something ? I fumed. If I say no to sex, that means no to a blow job too, Sit down ! I was disgusted.
He was all apologetic but the magic was gone.
His phone kept ringing, I suggested he picked up, he looked at the number on his screen and sighed that he was due back at work.
Gladly,  I escorted him out when suddenly he slammed me against the wall and groped my lady parts almost brutally and more or less kissed me, trying to establish dominion. I really hated that. I ordered him to stop and come back when he wants a real date. He backed away from me and started opening the front door when something strange happened.
He motioned with his arm for me to move away from the door and step behind him ?!?!?!?!?!
I didn't bulge and asked what on earth he was doing.
Do you want your neighbours to see you dressed like that ?
I always look decent whenever I get out of the door but right now I was in my hall, in a short summer dress and I can wear whatever I like inside, cant I ?
But you said you like that dress ! I asked innocently
Yes, I like it for me, at home, not for everyone to stare at.
Honey, I am not an Egyptian, therefor I will wear what I like, end of story.
He didn't like that very much and left.
I pondered what happened.
Yassin had shown a different face today, was he pretending to be nice in order to make me trust him and then put his macho crap on me  when I would be addicted to his affection ?
He was.
"One more thing, I thought, one more fuck up and Im chucking you out of my bed."
The last straw came two days later when he woke me with a text saying he had been waiting for a call for me all day yesterday.
What !
He behaved like a jackass and he thought I had to call him ?
What kind of logic is that ?
Why did you think I would call you yesterday then ?
Because it was my birthday.
Making me feel guilty, not a good sign.
I am sorry, I had no idea, why didn't you tell me ?
I did tell you, on our first date, remember ? I guess I am not in your heart. sulking now.
Making me feel more guilty, he did tell me but who remembers this sort of things ?
I want to celebrate my birthday with you, he purred
What does he want ? a cake ? a tie ? a nice shag ?
What do you want ? I questioned
I want a whole weekend with you in a romantic hotel away from Zurich, he whispered sexily.
Seriously ? You cannot even manage one night since two weeks and you would magically find a whole weekend  for me , who are you kidding ?  By now I was getting really annoyed.
How about tonight ? he offered.
Sure, I sighed, but promise me you will call me or text me if you cant make it. Last chance I was giving him, although I already knew he would blow it out of stupidity or machismo or both.
And just as I knew he wouldn't, he didn't come, he didn't text , he didn't call. And I decided that was it.
When I saw him on the next day I politely told him we were done and he reacted dispassionately and walked away.
It was really nice at first and I have no regrets but he soon showed his real face, seriously underestimating my self respect or overestimating his abilities.

Lets recap what happened :

Met a seemingly nice man, I pretended to be a nice girl, never said a word about who I really was, to see how he would handle me.
Within a couple of months he tried to be dominant and pushy.
I refused to be pushed around and he walked away.
So this is how nice girls get treated ? Man I sure am glad to be the boss of my sexlife if that's what nice girls endure.