I cant sleep with someone I like

Lately Ive had a comfirmation of something I had suspected for a long time.
I put men that I like into 2 categories : 
the shag material and the friend material.


Classic Christian education has women think that the man in our life has got to be all in one : lover, friend, confidant, co bill payer. The same man should be able to party with us, play tennis or cards, host dinners, get on with your friends, share your taste and opinions, decorate the bathroom and buy groceries with us, be there for us, a shoulder to cry on and of course the source of physical pleasure too.


yeah right !


Many women believe that and it leads to so many dillusions and heartaches.
A friend of mine always says that a husband is a really good girlfriend with a dick.


Why oh why then,  do men receive  opposite teachings ? to a man, most of them anyway, they need one or several women for sex and fun, lovers, mistresses etc... And they want another woman to serve as compagnion to raise chidren, run their household, perhaps help promote their carreer, put their life on hold , the woman who will be their concubine or wife, with whom they will stop having sex and fun after a few years but to whom they will stick to the end.


If they can separate women in 2 categories, so can we.


I have to say this system works brilliantly for me :


The friend material are the men which are smart,opinionated,  funny, charming, warm, kind, articulate, have a sense of humour, and share a few centers of interest with me like books, movies, music, religion  or football.
Those are men I like to befriend, can talk to for hours about anything. Im proud to introduce them to my friends and my familly.
I value their advice and cherish moments with them, they might even be some flirting involved BUT I never ever have sex with them because I like them or even love them too much to risk losing such precious people.


The shag material are the men who are hot, not always very good looking but sexy to me. They are funny, charming, smiling, dance well and ooze sexyness.
I never aproach any serious topic with them as I dont want to know their favourite colour, food or credo.
Of course I do have to know that they are neither animal/women/children abusers nor racist or sadist because that would definitely turn me off.
To my shag material Im only prepared to discuss neutral subjects or sex topics, I never discuss my past, my life, my job or my familly.
It has happened that one would ask me how my children are and i would freeze asking why they want to know, usually that is enough for them to understand.
I never ask them personal questions, besides the normal lover stuff, and when they ask me  perssonal stuff I either elude them or distract them with kisses.
My shag material men are in my life for the sole purpose of sharing pleasure that we give each other, thats all,I dont want to get to know them better , I dont want to have to answer their questions and I dont want to be their friends or their girlfriends. It is quite clear what we are to each other and what we are not.
Everytime that I had a moment of weakness with a shag material it never ended well.


Friend material however are welcome to my real life, any aspects of it, but I cant mess this up with sex. I once made the mistake of sleeping with a friend I liked and our friendship was damaged beyond repair. Lesson learned.


Those 2 categories, friends and lovers, need to be separated in order to survive emotionally and sexually.
It works for me, it might work for you too.

I looove gay men ! yay for gay men !

I just looooove gay men ! they really give a woman a good time without playing mind games or tryng to be dominant.

Not only are they charming, educated, cultivated and articulate, you can really talk to gay men, you can relax with them.

Every woman should have at least one or two gay men as best friends.

 Of course there is the small draw back that I cant actually sleep with any of them but I dont even need to because they make me feel so good and make me laugh sooo hard.

On saturday my daughter and I attended the black party in Zurich, this is the major gay social event in Switzerland happening on the first saturday of november.

Since we have a few friends that are gay we love going to this party with our mates.

This saturday nite was absolutely fabulous and I really needed something wonderfull.

there was hundreds of people, straight and gays, men and women,swiss and foreigners, young and old, caucasians, blacks, asians and latinos, all united, all dressed in black, leather, silk, feathers, jeans, latex and many different make ups, wigs and outrageous staff.

there was several dance floors, very loud thumping music, laser shows, pyrotechniques, lots of flammes throwing, it was perfect !

One of the wonderful things about gay parties is that there is no violence going on at all ! Hundreds of happy excited men of all age, race and credo dancing and cheering, drinking too, and not a single fight broke out ? not even raising of voices ? try to achieve that in a straight party !

We danced till 3.30 am , what a great night ! i returned home to my cat the next afternoon feeling great and I actually slept 7 hours non stop ! quite an achievement for sleepless me.

Martin bit me !

I had such a wonderful saturday, i worked, I had a yummy dinner with some mates and  I skyped a good friend ! Later I was home relaxing with my cat, skyping with my God-daughter when I got a text from Martin, that east German kid I like.
" Noch wach und langweilig ?  ( are you still awake and bored ? )"
"U wanna see me schatz ?"
"Do U ? "
"Be here in 30 minutes"
"Ill be there in 20."
So far so good, I thought. I was actually very pleased to see Martin and looked forward to his magic kissing expertise.
Yesterday the magic had taken a night off.
As soon as he arrived he jumped on me, quite unusual for him. He was on fire and we soon were heavily making out on my couch, a bit fast for him but I thought WTF. Soon after that we were frolicking happily on my bed aaaaaaaaaaaand : guess who got wood this time ? Yes !
Did he take some viagra ? did he snort coke before he rang me ? I have no idea, but the result  spoke volumes. ( no pun intended , lol )
Of course that was not  Igor good or black men good ...but for Martin that was really good.
Is it because he was more sexual that his kisses were less good ? Or is it my imagination ? on the same morning I saw this beautiful video of Seal and his wife Heidie Klum and I guess I wanted to recreate this atmosphere.
Not toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
At some point in between kisses , he moaned some nonsense about being a bad man ( no ? really ? I have never met one before, lol ) and he plunged on my neck to.......bite me hard !
Man did I scream ! I really dont know why movies always show women almost in ecstasy when vampires bite them, that crap actually hurts ! All he could say in his defence was that he was a bad man.
Bitch please ! stop talking, stop biting and just do me already !
( My cat saw  Martin bite me and as he kissed her forehead good bye on his way out she kept moving her little head away from his face, hahahahaha what a cool lady my cat is ! hahahahaha.)
So 3 Orgasms later he is practically sleeping.
I had a protective nurturing gesture that perhaps I shouldnt have had, he is after all only a fuckbuddie not a friend, I covered him up with a blanket.
He said he was not going to sleep here (fine by me ) because he wants to sleep in late on Sunday morning, I answered its just as well because I am getting up at 8am anyway,
It went like this :
"Are you working tomorrow then ?"
"No, I never work on Sundays,"
"So why are U getting up so early on a Sunday morning ?"
"Because I want to go to Church"
"Where ?"
"To Church"
"You are actually a believer ? a Church goer and all that ?"
"Yes I am"
"But you cant go to Church tomorrow , you have made love tonight !"
 ( is that what it was ? )
"And ?"
"And you made love then you shouldnt go anywhere near a Church "
"I  made love !  I have not  murdered or aggressed  anyone did I ? besides I am not married therefore I can do as I please, no one got cheated on or betrayed here tonight !"
"You see ! you are getting angry about it "
Honestly what a plonker !
First he bites my neck and now he questions my Christianity ?
I distracted him with more kissing and he was fun again, till he warned jokingly that I need to be careful cause he could be addictive.
Say what !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bitch  please ! I love black men, latinos. eastern europeans, men who get wood on just a smile ( and who dont bite) ! what makes you think someone like me could possibly see more in you that an occasional good cuddle ? pfffff
Cant I be nice to a guy without him putting his nose up in the air ?
A very dear friend told me today that I tend to make my men feel good, not just their bodies but their egos too, must be an extension of my work taking care of people, lol.
I actually had teeth marks on my poor neck and the air head told me that he is not the nice guy I think he is, he is actually a bad one.
Bitch I know bad men, ok.
First they fuck much better than you do , second they dont bite !!!!!!
So he left after a millionth kiss and I was pondering the situation.

Martin acted out of character today, I really hated the biting and the comment about going to Church, and that kid is weird anyway , he helps himself to tap water when I told him there  is bottled water in the fridge, I have lots of beautiful cristal glasses in my kitchen and he chose a plastic shaker ! After his shower he didnt pick one of the many fluffy white towels on my bathroom shelves, he took the smallest feet towel he could find !
Is there any normal men around ?
Ok I will give him one more chance to again be the darling he can be, if he pulls another stunt like that I shall ban him from my bed.
In the meantime I might have a couple of quiet days because I can barely sit straight today, lol. I love such reminders of a great F.... dont you ?

Younger men like older women

As I was skyping with my best friend today, she said this 50 something woman she knows is dating this hot and younger artist. That doesnt surprise me at all.
When I was young I have been ditched a couple of times for older girls, which is something that didnt compute very well with me since we live in a society where youth and looks are worshiped way above character and intelligence.
We are constantly told that we must be tall, hence high heels to look tall, slim, hence expensive cosmetics and unhealthy diets, if possible blonde, duh !, and above all else : young or at least young looking ! hence plastic surgeries and expensive procedures of all sorts.
How ridiculous is that !
It took me years to understand that sexyness is not in your wonder bra or fake tan, sexyness is in your head. Its in the way you smile, its in the way you handle yourself, its the subtle tone in your voice that lets him know you find him interesting, its the spark in your eyes that lets him guess you think he is desirable.
Sexyness is the confidance that comes from knowing you are a great catch in bed and he should be lucky to share some of your goodies for a while.


Now, there is no way to know this before your late thirties, early forties. This comes with experience, but once you do know this, you can really broaden your horizon and take charge of your sexlife fearlessly.
As you gain insight into men you realise you dont need to prawl around on 12 inches heels, make up and revealing clothes to find a man, you dont even need to work that hard to get laid !
Each and everyone I ever seduced , I did so with descent clothes on, no make up save a bit of lipstick, no nail polish, no special fake efforts to pretend I was someone else. This way you know you are attracting people to you, the real you, not some phoney look alike of what is thought of as sexy.




No more waiting for him to aproach you, no hoping for a call either, no panting for one man in particular when you know you can feel as high with any other hotties that you like.


I really think this is the reason why younger men are attracted to me and any confidant mature woman, because I dont care, Im not tryng to create a bond or build a foundation. Ive been there and done that.
Why else would I be able to score men 15 or even 20 years younger than myself ? I never lie about my age, this way Im sure to attract those who want a mature lover.


And why are girls encouraged to hide their age anyway ? this is so immature.
I saw a beauty cream commercial on telly the other day, this is actually a night cream that I use. The promotion was done by Andy Mc Dowell, I dont know her age but she is beautiful and classy. Well, would you believe a attractive, successful lady like her was insisting that we apply that cream carefully to our neck because it is often our necks that betray our age ????
Betray our age ? WTF? Since when is it illegal to age one more year each year?
This is exactly the kind of nonsense that take the power away from women when they reach 30. I was lucky to be blessed with some logic when I was a girl and I decided that this age-hiding business is really silly.
Therefore. I never hide my age, so if a guy wouldnt want to date me cause he is not into older women, he can miss out on something wonderfull and I dont have to worry about him finding out.


I sometimes ask the men I date  why they like me and they pretty much say the same : an older woman is confidant, great in bed, can hold a conversation on many levels,she knows what she wants and what she doesnt  AND she doesnt not care at all about commitments because she has done it all already !
In other words : an older woman is not desperate to find the one, she just wants to have tons of fun !

Simon, bad looks can hide a treasure !

Simon  (name changed) is not at all what you call good looking, he is short, fat, has many scars from surgeries, he fought and won against cancer twice, he is an executive in a national compagnie  and is quite old fashioned.
However.....whenever we meet, which is not often, he turns up with expensive beautiful roses, pastries and makes me laugh really hard. He is so educated and has such a sense of humour, that alone makes him attractive. Sexually speaking he really. really, really knows how to pleasure me, so the hell with his looks ! that was great !