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Saturday 13 April 2013

the ethics of sex friendship

Sex friendships as they are called, are a wonderful way to have absolutely great sex with someone you like and can trust to a certain degree, several times over a number of month and even years . It has all the advantages of a relationship but it is not a relationship. It has none of the obligations and problems of a relationship because it is not a relationship.
It is a loving sexy arrangement that works for both parts.
Hollywood always shows sex friendships blossoming into romance, relationships and maybe even marriage. I am not saying this never happens, but I do doubt it happens a lot.
Most sex friendship come to an abrupt painful end when one of the lovers fall in love with the other.
Unless it is a mutual thing, this never works. The one in love start to see the sexual connection as so much more than it is and the one who isn't begin to fear giving too much because his hot sex friend is turning into a weak, jealous, exclusive, hysterical burden and that is not the deal they had anymore.
Ugly break up, humiliation, lies and delusions ensue.
Whatever you do, do not, I repeat, DO NOT FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR SEX FRIEND !!!!!!!!
Did everyone see that or should I repeat again ?
The beauty of sex friendship is that you can have your cake and eat it. You can make love and enjoy tons of orgasms with a trusted friend without any pressure or stress. If you change this delicate balance, the whole thing is ruined , often beyond repair.
Sometimes your sex friendship will just run its course and you stop sleeping together because the magic is gone and you want a new playmate, some other time one of you wants to go bareback and the other doesn't. It could even be that one of you meets someone they fall in love with, or in lust with , and you need to wait until the novelty wears off. When your lover decides he wants a real relationship or he has a strong need to start a family, there is nothing you can do but walk away with as much as dignity as can be mastered. Whatever you do, turn around quickly before he sees you crying, this is not how you want to be remembered by an ex sex friend.
Unless one of this ugly scenarios occurs, there is no reason why you couldn't enjoy years of no string attached with your favourite shag buddy.
There are however, a few rules you need to follow to the letter if you want a happy and long lasting sex friendship.

Here they are :

Never, ever, fall in love with your sex friend.
Never have social contact with him, no dinner together, no long  phone calls, no socialising at all.
Do not tell anyone about him, if u have some friends in common, make sure they don't know.
Don't see him for anything but fabulous sex.
Don't cook for him or do anything girlfriendy for him, ever.
Don't offer to do anything girlfriend.
Don't offer any support when he is not well.
Don't confide in him about your personal problems and don't listen to his.
Don't cuddle up too long after sex.
Don't look too long into each other s eyes when you make love.
Don't pay him too many non sexual compliments.
Don't tell him too much about yourself and don't ask him private questions.
Don't tell him if you  sleep with other people.
Don't expect fidelity.
Don't expect to be loved.
Never forget that you are just lovers, not in love.

Remember the strict codes of sex friendship ethics and you will enjoy nirvana for a long time without paying the price for it.
Break the rules and ...... you will suffer ugly heart breaks.