In my experience not only are bad boys sexier, regardless of their looks, more confidant because they dont care at all if they get you or not, better in bed because this is mostly all they really have in life.
In my opinion it is better to date bad boys rather than good ones because at least you know what to expect.
When a bad boy tries to hurt you, they are usually not very smart about it, you can see them coming from miles and immediatelly defend yourself, therefore doing some dammage control.
They are quite easy to get over with and even easier to replace !
When a good man stabs you in the back......that really hurts.
You had no idea he was gonna strike, you thought he was too good and too serious to hit below the belt. Truth is.....good men are really lethal when they hurt you, they are so much harder to recover from, and you feel so dumb for not having seen the signs.
Thats why I usually stay away from good men.
Each time I date one, Im terrified I wont see it coming and wonder when he is gonna strike. Can I allow myself to relax and feel safe around this really nice normal man ? After he stubs me in the back as they almost inevitably do, who else can I blame but my stupid self for having ignored the alarm signals that were flyng red flags all over ?
Looking back on what was said and done, one could almost pinpoint the first signs of danger, the first lies, the first withdrawals of affections, the first betrayalls. Why did we think it was our imagination ? Because that bitch was such a good man he couldnt possibly be manipulative and cruel.
Newsflash ladies : Goodies are capable of screwing you out far worse than bad boys ever would.
Because goodies have the element of surprise, with bad boys you are always prepared to get lied to, manipulated and hurt in some ways.
So unless you want boyfriend/husband material......enjoy bad boys while looking over your shoulder.
Thursday 30 December 2010
Once you go black.... do you really ?
You know that old saying : Once you go black you can never go back ?
Ive always wondered why people say that.
I happily butterfly on from blacks to whites or latinos without hesitation.
It is not the color of the man that makes the lover, rather his sex appeal.
I am a great lover of black men, it has been my good fortune to befriend and be intimate with many of them and I can truely say they are wonderfull !!
The contrast of the black and white skin alone is quite a turn on, and what about that smooth skin, those hard muscles, the perfect teeth,those sexy low intimate voices ? the friendly smiles ? Not to mention the warmth, loving and sexiness of most black men. Most black lovers not only give fabulous sex on tap but they also love to cook for their women, and talk and giggle. Isnit fantastic ?
Americans, British, French and African black men........yummie yummie yummie all of them, thats all I can say.
By now you might have guessed that I love my black lovers.
However, I dont love them exclusively. Why should I ?
Any man, no matter his colour or nationality or looks has something to offer.
There are numerous qualities in black lovers , like they are generally well endowed and they can shag for a long time without coke or viagra BUT most of them refuse to give oral sex, they think its gross but they love receiving it. They are so cuddly and kissy BUT after a few dates they will want a relationship, wanting you to commit and be faithfull while still dating lots other women thinking its perfectly allright, Africans especially are demanding this way. They are horrified if you cheat on them but conveniently forget their own daliances. This is less of a problem with european black men. White men may not always go on and on for hours BUT most of them love going down on women even on one night stands, white men cringe at the word "relationship" ( convenient for me ) and will only cook for you and pester you if they really are into you. Latinos are all about having fun, dancing, laughing, having sex. They already know it wont get serious and dont pretend otherwise.....ahhhh you gotto love Latinos !
Therefore once you go black of course you can come back and return and come back and come again and go back on white or latino lane before diving into black sea again and return.!
Enjoy the rides and screw preconceived ideas.
Ive always wondered why people say that.
I happily butterfly on from blacks to whites or latinos without hesitation.
It is not the color of the man that makes the lover, rather his sex appeal.
I am a great lover of black men, it has been my good fortune to befriend and be intimate with many of them and I can truely say they are wonderfull !!
The contrast of the black and white skin alone is quite a turn on, and what about that smooth skin, those hard muscles, the perfect teeth,those sexy low intimate voices ? the friendly smiles ? Not to mention the warmth, loving and sexiness of most black men. Most black lovers not only give fabulous sex on tap but they also love to cook for their women, and talk and giggle. Isnit fantastic ?
Americans, British, French and African black men........yummie yummie yummie all of them, thats all I can say.
By now you might have guessed that I love my black lovers.
However, I dont love them exclusively. Why should I ?
Any man, no matter his colour or nationality or looks has something to offer.
There are numerous qualities in black lovers , like they are generally well endowed and they can shag for a long time without coke or viagra BUT most of them refuse to give oral sex, they think its gross but they love receiving it. They are so cuddly and kissy BUT after a few dates they will want a relationship, wanting you to commit and be faithfull while still dating lots other women thinking its perfectly allright, Africans especially are demanding this way. They are horrified if you cheat on them but conveniently forget their own daliances. This is less of a problem with european black men. White men may not always go on and on for hours BUT most of them love going down on women even on one night stands, white men cringe at the word "relationship" ( convenient for me ) and will only cook for you and pester you if they really are into you. Latinos are all about having fun, dancing, laughing, having sex. They already know it wont get serious and dont pretend otherwise.....ahhhh you gotto love Latinos !
Therefore once you go black of course you can come back and return and come back and come again and go back on white or latino lane before diving into black sea again and return.!
Enjoy the rides and screw preconceived ideas.
Thursday 23 December 2010
Merry Christmas everybody ! love and kisses !
Dear readers
I wish you a merry Christmas or a happy Hanooka, rebirth of the new sun or simply a wonderfull couple of days off, whatever your beliefs might be.
Let me take this opportunity to thank you very much for reading my blogg. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Merci, Danke, Ta, Domo Arigato, Grazie,Spaciva, Gracias, Obrigadinha, Hvala liepo, Kussenem, Rumba Nandri.
Those of you who are blessed with a familly, loyal friends or even a loving dog or cat, Im happy for you.
Those of you who are all alone, whatever the reason may be..........know that
there is always someone who will think of you.
Wherever you are at this time of your life, working on an oil rigg, serving a humanitarian mission in some far away land, sitting in a wheel chair, risking your life in a dangerous job, queuing up for a warm soup at "les restos du coeur" or crying yourself to sleep over your ugly divorce, licking your wounds after another broken heart, maybe you are on a hospital bed on pain medications or perhaps you are depressed watching the world go on without you.
It will get better, maybe not right this instant, but it will get better, life never stagnates and things do improve, life will be worth living again someday.
So dont be too sad or scared, do not intoxicate your body with drinks and drugs ( these only make matters worse).
Remember you are unique and you have value, no matter what anyone might say. So chin up and relax, lets make 2011 as enjoyable as we each can.
As to me, I have chosen to turn down 3 booty calls this week because at Christmas Im in familly mode. shopping for presents, writing cards, stoking on lots of groceries so that I can hybernate a little and perusing over new recipes so that I can cook a feast for my familly although I always end up cooking a good old fashioned turkey dinner !
Im also in business mode , checking bills, doing accounts and planning january business already.
So not in the sex queen mood during the hollidays but thats ok because there is a time for everything.
I will go back hunting next year, I mean next month, since good sex burns calories faster than swimming or jogging ever could. There's a brilliant excuse to pig out and have lots of great calories burning sex if I ever heard one ! lol
I wish you a merry Christmas or a happy Hanooka, rebirth of the new sun or simply a wonderfull couple of days off, whatever your beliefs might be.
Let me take this opportunity to thank you very much for reading my blogg. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Merci, Danke, Ta, Domo Arigato, Grazie,Spaciva, Gracias, Obrigadinha, Hvala liepo, Kussenem, Rumba Nandri.
Those of you who are blessed with a familly, loyal friends or even a loving dog or cat, Im happy for you.
Those of you who are all alone, whatever the reason may be..........know that
there is always someone who will think of you.
Wherever you are at this time of your life, working on an oil rigg, serving a humanitarian mission in some far away land, sitting in a wheel chair, risking your life in a dangerous job, queuing up for a warm soup at "les restos du coeur" or crying yourself to sleep over your ugly divorce, licking your wounds after another broken heart, maybe you are on a hospital bed on pain medications or perhaps you are depressed watching the world go on without you.
It will get better, maybe not right this instant, but it will get better, life never stagnates and things do improve, life will be worth living again someday.
So dont be too sad or scared, do not intoxicate your body with drinks and drugs ( these only make matters worse).
Remember you are unique and you have value, no matter what anyone might say. So chin up and relax, lets make 2011 as enjoyable as we each can.
As to me, I have chosen to turn down 3 booty calls this week because at Christmas Im in familly mode. shopping for presents, writing cards, stoking on lots of groceries so that I can hybernate a little and perusing over new recipes so that I can cook a feast for my familly although I always end up cooking a good old fashioned turkey dinner !
Im also in business mode , checking bills, doing accounts and planning january business already.
So not in the sex queen mood during the hollidays but thats ok because there is a time for everything.
I will go back hunting next year, I mean next month, since good sex burns calories faster than swimming or jogging ever could. There's a brilliant excuse to pig out and have lots of great calories burning sex if I ever heard one ! lol
Tuesday 21 December 2010
Monday 20 December 2010
Positions......my favourite
My favourite postion is the time honoured missionary, Im on my back and he is on top of me, this is great because we can look at each other, we can kiss and we can touch while making love. I just love it.I also like it on the side and I go wild when we do the rocking boat thing.
But my number one is him on top of me.
Because of watching too many porn movies and not shagging enough real people, a lot of men imagine that sex is about fitting in as many acrobatic and uncomfortable positions as fast as possible within 10 minutes, silly I know.
Im not saying we gotto do only the position I like and never experiment any other, im saying this is not a competition.
Sex is give and take, not a porn show.
I really dont like the doggy position, I hardly feel a thing, most men take advantage of this to slap my bum and I cant even see my lover's face or touch him. Of course when a lover is really nice to me and has been doing my favourite positions for a while before he asks me to turn around, then Ill be happy to oblige, considering he deserves it and I will give him his doggy style.
If he really is good , sensual, cuddly, creative, if he drives me wild with desire, if he is the kind of man that has me scream his name and want more and more of it , Specially if he whispers cheekily .....Gira ti, turn around, retourne toi.....da la vuelta mi amor.
Ladies, if your new man just grabs your head and pulls it to his dick demanding a blow job right after a kiss without even turning you on first then you know you are on to a a selfish and uncompetent time waster. Worse even if he shags you for 5 minutes and turns you around for doggy position then you definitely got a loser there and you might as well drop the idiot there and then.
Because a guy who treats you like that on a first date will never make love to you , he will just take and take without even the courtesy of giving you an orgasm or two.
The whole point of having sex is indeed to come, right ?
I remember Justin, a hot black londoner who had shagged me almost an hour before he nearly pleaded for me to give him his doggy fashion.... and I did because I came a couple of times already and thought I might as well reward him. Why do men love that position so much anyway ?
It looks like something one could do with a german shepard.
I remember Mehmet a really cute guy to whom I patiently explained why he musnt jump on me, why he should take his time with sex and never ever treat me like a rug doll changing positions so often I couldnt even come ! Twice.
I explained it to him twice, and yet he didnt get it, although he promissed not to do that again.
Because he was really hot I gave him 3 chances and the third time he had my legs around my neck then around his neck then up in the air then when put me on my knees.... I just walked out.
Was the dude not listening at all or did he just not care ?
I jumped out of his bed and asked if he had gone to stupid school or if it came to him naturally ?
C-I told you I hate it when u do acrobatics with my body ! I dont even have time to come ! what is wrong with you ?
M- But I like to change positions often .....
C- Then I suggest you change woman.
M- Whaddaya mean change woman ? I ve never had a complaint before.
C- Yeah, I bet you never kept a lover more than 5 minutes either.
M- Bitch who do you think you are ?
C- Im a woman and I deserves lovers who will give me real sex, not fake porn like im a rug doll or something !
As we were yelling at each other, I discretly got dressed and run out of the door. I actually run, in high heels, to the nearest taxi rank.
I would have avoided this embarrassment if I had listened to my instinct and dropped the S.O.B. after the first encounter. So ladies dont do what I did, if he treats your body like a sex toy and does not concern himself with your pleasure..... Dont call him back and dont take his calls ever again.
Go find yourself a real man who wants to make love and see the woman in his arms twist and turn and shake with an earth shattering orgasms.
Wednesday 15 December 2010
Hurray for quickies !!!!!!!
This morning at 8am as I did my laundry whilst reading a book, checking my emails and planning my day, I was feeling a little under the weather.
Im upset about a couple of things , besides I havent had sex in 3 weeks, I feel ratty , im starting to have withdrawal symptoms.
I have a dental appointment ( not my favourite activity ! ) and im behind in my paperwork, not to mention i havent even reserved my usual bio turkey for Xmas.
Out of the blue, Igor rang at 8.05 am.
I- Good morning schatzie.
C-hmm hey you.
I- I was just thinking about you after driving my son to school and it is such a beautifull snowy day, I was wondering if you...
C-Sorry Igor Im not really in the mood today, I dont feel sexy, Im gonna go to the dentist this afternoon, I have a ton of paperwork to do, books to read, stuff to file, my back is a little achy and I havent even had my morning chocolate yet ! so , thank you for thinking of me but no thank you.
I-Hey ? want a quickie ?
C-what ?
I- got this massive hard on with your name on it, you fancie a quickie ?
C-Now you re talking ! come on up honey, I feel better already.
hahahahahaha dont I always say Igor is the perfect shagbuddie in everyway ?
No nensense, no lying or pretending, straight to the point.
no time wasting nor teasing. I dont know about you but I just love morning sex.
I havent had a quickie in such a long time I forgot how funtastic they feel.
He comes in, unshaved , no tie on, shallow breath and shiny eyes, looks at
me with his mouth slightly open, pushes me against the wall to start undressing me feverishly whilst kissing me hard.
Igor's desire is out of control.
In such cases you either fall on the floor with your clothes around your ankles or if you are lucky you might actually drop on the couch or the bed whichever comes first.
But Igor is already inside me before Im totally naked and we are still standing against my front door !
So glad I had a condom in my shirt pocket when I opened the door.
My naked thighs really enjoy the feel of his blue jeans, the zip of his black leather jacket is rubbing sensously against my almost naked breasts.
This leather smell is driving me crasy and I dont even mind the roughness of the wall digging in my back.
My fingers are running frantically trough his dark blond curls and I cant stop feeling small waves of fire washing over me.
He is practically dancing in my body as deeply as his tongue is doing tango with mine, yum.
Since Im much smaller than Igor is, he has lifted me a little and is cupping my buttocks to secure me in that position, and what a position it is !!!!
Its not romantic at all but it is extremely hot, viril, manly, almost primal.
I feel so alive and sexy as Igor stares at me with half closed eyes and whispers :
....I love your ass...I love your small mushi that holds my dick so tight.....
I could kiss your tits all day.....hmmm I love your mouth.....i love what you do with it.......I love your eyes......I love to watch you come....come for me......
come with me...... come with me.......
We rock into each other slowly, ever so slowly, until we explode.................
Later we are sitting on the floor, wordlessly , exhausted but happy !
My head is resting on his shoulder while his arms and legs are wrapped around me.
Igor didnt even shower ,said he wants to keep my taste all day during business meetings and remember this morning.
Wow ! how is that for a sexy statement ?
One more kiss and Gregor goes back to his day, I feel so energized by this fabulous quickie that Im ready to take on the world ! roll on laundries, books, tax forms, gift wrappings and time tables ! Im ready for you now !
But .....not before I have a long long hot shower.
A quickie with Igor seems like the purrfect way to start the day !
naughty, I know but hey Im single therefore I am the boss of ..............
....what ?
Exactly !
Im upset about a couple of things , besides I havent had sex in 3 weeks, I feel ratty , im starting to have withdrawal symptoms.
I have a dental appointment ( not my favourite activity ! ) and im behind in my paperwork, not to mention i havent even reserved my usual bio turkey for Xmas.
Out of the blue, Igor rang at 8.05 am.
I- Good morning schatzie.
C-hmm hey you.
I- I was just thinking about you after driving my son to school and it is such a beautifull snowy day, I was wondering if you...
C-Sorry Igor Im not really in the mood today, I dont feel sexy, Im gonna go to the dentist this afternoon, I have a ton of paperwork to do, books to read, stuff to file, my back is a little achy and I havent even had my morning chocolate yet ! so , thank you for thinking of me but no thank you.
I-Hey ? want a quickie ?
C-what ?
I- got this massive hard on with your name on it, you fancie a quickie ?
C-Now you re talking ! come on up honey, I feel better already.
hahahahahaha dont I always say Igor is the perfect shagbuddie in everyway ?
No nensense, no lying or pretending, straight to the point.
no time wasting nor teasing. I dont know about you but I just love morning sex.
I havent had a quickie in such a long time I forgot how funtastic they feel.
He comes in, unshaved , no tie on, shallow breath and shiny eyes, looks at
me with his mouth slightly open, pushes me against the wall to start undressing me feverishly whilst kissing me hard.
Igor's desire is out of control.
In such cases you either fall on the floor with your clothes around your ankles or if you are lucky you might actually drop on the couch or the bed whichever comes first.
But Igor is already inside me before Im totally naked and we are still standing against my front door !
So glad I had a condom in my shirt pocket when I opened the door.
My naked thighs really enjoy the feel of his blue jeans, the zip of his black leather jacket is rubbing sensously against my almost naked breasts.
This leather smell is driving me crasy and I dont even mind the roughness of the wall digging in my back.
My fingers are running frantically trough his dark blond curls and I cant stop feeling small waves of fire washing over me.
He is practically dancing in my body as deeply as his tongue is doing tango with mine, yum.
Since Im much smaller than Igor is, he has lifted me a little and is cupping my buttocks to secure me in that position, and what a position it is !!!!
Its not romantic at all but it is extremely hot, viril, manly, almost primal.
I feel so alive and sexy as Igor stares at me with half closed eyes and whispers :
....I love your ass...I love your small mushi that holds my dick so tight.....
I could kiss your tits all day.....hmmm I love your mouth.....i love what you do with it.......I love your eyes......I love to watch you come....come for me......
come with me...... come with me.......
We rock into each other slowly, ever so slowly, until we explode.................
Later we are sitting on the floor, wordlessly , exhausted but happy !
My head is resting on his shoulder while his arms and legs are wrapped around me.
Igor didnt even shower ,said he wants to keep my taste all day during business meetings and remember this morning.
Wow ! how is that for a sexy statement ?
One more kiss and Gregor goes back to his day, I feel so energized by this fabulous quickie that Im ready to take on the world ! roll on laundries, books, tax forms, gift wrappings and time tables ! Im ready for you now !
But .....not before I have a long long hot shower.
A quickie with Igor seems like the purrfect way to start the day !
naughty, I know but hey Im single therefore I am the boss of ..............
....what ?
Exactly !
Wednesday 8 December 2010
This is not a very sexy month for me
Last december, I had sex 6 times and 2 of those were brand new one night stands. This december , however, feels very different. I am swamped in work, not only hands on but I also have many reading assignments to complete , 5 classes to take, 1 to teach and Xmas to prepare for.
Is that my new bed ? the poor thing hasnt yet been given a proper welcome.
Is it that I lost a friend and am not really trying ?
Is that the snow ? these non stop icy droppings that outstay their welcome ?
Is that the fact that I accidently cut myself last week and sport a couple of dressings on my neck and tummy ?
Jerome saw a piece of dressing sticking out of my collar and stopped right in the middle of asking me out. WTF ?
Igor rang me 3 times before I picked up and when I explained about the dressings...oops he had to go back to the office for a video conference.
What ? a couple of dressings make me less sexy now ?
Does it alter my looks ? Does it affect the quality of my sexual prowess ?
I put it to you that it does not.
Since when do men demand perfection anyway ? do they have some to offer ?
So much for looks not mattering that much ! Or am I the only one putting sexyness and character before looks ?
Back a few years ago I was very sick for 3 months, I had 2 catheters and a urin pouch attached to my thigh. I felt so ugly and just turned down everybody who rang me. I did try telling a couple of guys I knew then, what the problem was......their reactions was to cut all contacts immediatelly.
I was outraged. not really surprised , but sad that men can be so shallow. When I was healed and back on top of things, they suddenly remembered me but I never dated them again, I forgave them but I just didnt want them around anymore.
In fact , the only guy who not only gate crushed my hospital room, came to see me at home during my convalescence to make me some soup and give me kisses like I were still a hottie .....was crazy Djamel !
As I began to heal enough to consider beeing a nice normal sexual beeing again , it was Djamel that I entrusted with my fears and unsecurities and he made love to me in spite of all the remaining plastic tube and plastic pouch that made me look so undesirable to the rest of the world.
That was so cool to feel like a human beeing again, like a woman, a woman who can give and be given orgasms.
Djamel may be a crazy, lying, obssesive son of a bitch, but he did help back then.
Now why is it that the only man who gave me the time of the day when no other would, had to be a crasy stalker I cannot trust at all ?
Was he trying to bind me to him ? did he think I should be forever grateful and would move in with him ? He must have had an agenda.
All the same, it was the bad man who behaved descently those days.
You see thats another reason why I like bad boys, they are there when the goodie are not .
Or was just it because it was me ?
Is that my new bed ? the poor thing hasnt yet been given a proper welcome.
Is it that I lost a friend and am not really trying ?
Is that the snow ? these non stop icy droppings that outstay their welcome ?
Is that the fact that I accidently cut myself last week and sport a couple of dressings on my neck and tummy ?
Jerome saw a piece of dressing sticking out of my collar and stopped right in the middle of asking me out. WTF ?
Igor rang me 3 times before I picked up and when I explained about the dressings...oops he had to go back to the office for a video conference.
What ? a couple of dressings make me less sexy now ?
Does it alter my looks ? Does it affect the quality of my sexual prowess ?
I put it to you that it does not.
Since when do men demand perfection anyway ? do they have some to offer ?
So much for looks not mattering that much ! Or am I the only one putting sexyness and character before looks ?
Back a few years ago I was very sick for 3 months, I had 2 catheters and a urin pouch attached to my thigh. I felt so ugly and just turned down everybody who rang me. I did try telling a couple of guys I knew then, what the problem was......their reactions was to cut all contacts immediatelly.
I was outraged. not really surprised , but sad that men can be so shallow. When I was healed and back on top of things, they suddenly remembered me but I never dated them again, I forgave them but I just didnt want them around anymore.
In fact , the only guy who not only gate crushed my hospital room, came to see me at home during my convalescence to make me some soup and give me kisses like I were still a hottie .....was crazy Djamel !
As I began to heal enough to consider beeing a nice normal sexual beeing again , it was Djamel that I entrusted with my fears and unsecurities and he made love to me in spite of all the remaining plastic tube and plastic pouch that made me look so undesirable to the rest of the world.
That was so cool to feel like a human beeing again, like a woman, a woman who can give and be given orgasms.
Djamel may be a crazy, lying, obssesive son of a bitch, but he did help back then.
Now why is it that the only man who gave me the time of the day when no other would, had to be a crasy stalker I cannot trust at all ?
Was he trying to bind me to him ? did he think I should be forever grateful and would move in with him ? He must have had an agenda.
All the same, it was the bad man who behaved descently those days.
You see thats another reason why I like bad boys, they are there when the goodie are not .
Or was just it because it was me ?
Friday 3 December 2010
Am I grooming guys to be better men ?
I have decided to quit love a few years ago after my second husband broke my heart and live the way I do now. It works for me.
It doesnt mean I never form any bonds to the people I date, I even have something that could be described as feelings for some of them. Specially the ones I often dally with.
However I am very serious to the commitment I made to remaining single and I occasionally am reminded of the price Im paying for my independance.
As intimacy devellops between a shagbuddy and myself, there will be times where things get deeper, not just sexually, you start to talk about your life , you even council and comfort each others, compare notes on life's many issues. You even have a hard time letting go sometimes and you will be hugging and kissing good night by the door a lot longer that you should.
I often have shag flash backs on the next day , thinking how fantastic last night was or hmmm that thing he does with his tongue or the way he moves his hips or the scent of his skin when it sweating against mine, that vein that pulses on his forehead, how intense his eyes are, how he screamed, how he.....
Ok ! moving on.
Thats what I always tell myself to snap out of this lovely flashbacks.
Whenever I feel like sending a nice text I will resist the impulse and send a saucy one instead, thats my way of saying :
"sure I like you, I like you a lot but this is only sex.
Tenderness and loving are not part of the deal mister."
I have been known to run away from guys I knew I would lose control with, I even go as far as beeing quite obnoxious to someone I really really have strong feelings for, I make sure they jump out of my life and never come back, I double lock all the doors to my heart to make sure whoever he is can not ever get back in again.
Dont you feel sorry fo me, this what I want.
The funny thing is....I often get dumped by my lovers because there always comes a time when they want more. Or I walk away from them because I want more, lol.
How many times have I had this dreaded conversation with a shagbuddy :
we get on well, you make me feel wonderfull, you are girlfriend material, I know you like me more that you say, you and I have got a good thing going .....bla bla bla .....if you are not gonna take what I have to give I will find a girl who will.
And after the closure of our sexual friendships, most of those men end up marrying or living with the very next girl they date after me !
Im thinking of this cute saoudian I saw for months, when it became clear to him that there was no more I was willing to give...he left and next time I bumped into him he wore a wedding ring and held the hand of his pregnant wife !
Mark, hot gorgeous nigerian, slammed the door shouting he wondered what it was about him that I figured was not good enough for me. Last time I saw Mark he walked proudly hand in hand with an unsuspecting girlfriend.
Byron, always complaining that I never called him except for nookie, Byron is settling with a cute blondie and Im happy for him because he deserves it.
Pesha, hot blond, forever swinging from a "lets have a shagfest" mode to an "I want to be loved" mode, is now living with a girlfriend who probably is unaware that the whole city of Bern and Zurich, men and women included, have revisited the kamasoutra with her man. lol.
Jawad, the best shag in Bern, told me he wants a woman who will wash up after he's cooked for her.
So yes, they were ready for commitments, but I dont like beeing pressured and I dont want to belong to one man in particular, I really dont.
There are so many many men who have got so much to offer, I would hate to miss out on great sex with a hot stranger just because Im bound to one very man.
Since open relationships and unfidelity are not an option for me.......singlehood is the answer to my sexual happyness.
But I cant help wondering..... how did those men, who were into one night stands and casual sex when I met them, how did they suddenlly turned into boyfriends and husbands ?
Is it me ?
Do I mess them up so badly they will quickly grab a nice girl who will make them feel safe and in control ? Could it be that anyone else will be easy to handle after me ?
Or do I give them a taste of something so wonderfull they want to have this all the time , and for real ? Once Ive put them in the "girl" position do they realise they have been pigs and now they understand how women feel therefore they will settle down nicely.
It cant be entirely bad for an asshole to feel first hand what he made many women feel before he met me, can it ?
If at least they stop hurting women after they realise how painfull it is, then I have served some purpose, and made a few ladies quite happy, lol.
Am I screwing my lovers up ? or am I grooming them for other women who will make some good out of my left overs?
What says you ?
It doesnt mean I never form any bonds to the people I date, I even have something that could be described as feelings for some of them. Specially the ones I often dally with.
However I am very serious to the commitment I made to remaining single and I occasionally am reminded of the price Im paying for my independance.
As intimacy devellops between a shagbuddy and myself, there will be times where things get deeper, not just sexually, you start to talk about your life , you even council and comfort each others, compare notes on life's many issues. You even have a hard time letting go sometimes and you will be hugging and kissing good night by the door a lot longer that you should.
I often have shag flash backs on the next day , thinking how fantastic last night was or hmmm that thing he does with his tongue or the way he moves his hips or the scent of his skin when it sweating against mine, that vein that pulses on his forehead, how intense his eyes are, how he screamed, how he.....
Ok ! moving on.
Thats what I always tell myself to snap out of this lovely flashbacks.
Whenever I feel like sending a nice text I will resist the impulse and send a saucy one instead, thats my way of saying :
"sure I like you, I like you a lot but this is only sex.
Tenderness and loving are not part of the deal mister."
I have been known to run away from guys I knew I would lose control with, I even go as far as beeing quite obnoxious to someone I really really have strong feelings for, I make sure they jump out of my life and never come back, I double lock all the doors to my heart to make sure whoever he is can not ever get back in again.
Dont you feel sorry fo me, this what I want.
The funny thing is....I often get dumped by my lovers because there always comes a time when they want more. Or I walk away from them because I want more, lol.
How many times have I had this dreaded conversation with a shagbuddy :
we get on well, you make me feel wonderfull, you are girlfriend material, I know you like me more that you say, you and I have got a good thing going .....bla bla bla .....if you are not gonna take what I have to give I will find a girl who will.
And after the closure of our sexual friendships, most of those men end up marrying or living with the very next girl they date after me !
Im thinking of this cute saoudian I saw for months, when it became clear to him that there was no more I was willing to give...he left and next time I bumped into him he wore a wedding ring and held the hand of his pregnant wife !
Mark, hot gorgeous nigerian, slammed the door shouting he wondered what it was about him that I figured was not good enough for me. Last time I saw Mark he walked proudly hand in hand with an unsuspecting girlfriend.
Byron, always complaining that I never called him except for nookie, Byron is settling with a cute blondie and Im happy for him because he deserves it.
Pesha, hot blond, forever swinging from a "lets have a shagfest" mode to an "I want to be loved" mode, is now living with a girlfriend who probably is unaware that the whole city of Bern and Zurich, men and women included, have revisited the kamasoutra with her man. lol.
Jawad, the best shag in Bern, told me he wants a woman who will wash up after he's cooked for her.
So yes, they were ready for commitments, but I dont like beeing pressured and I dont want to belong to one man in particular, I really dont.
There are so many many men who have got so much to offer, I would hate to miss out on great sex with a hot stranger just because Im bound to one very man.
Since open relationships and unfidelity are not an option for me.......singlehood is the answer to my sexual happyness.
But I cant help wondering..... how did those men, who were into one night stands and casual sex when I met them, how did they suddenlly turned into boyfriends and husbands ?
Is it me ?
Do I mess them up so badly they will quickly grab a nice girl who will make them feel safe and in control ? Could it be that anyone else will be easy to handle after me ?
Or do I give them a taste of something so wonderfull they want to have this all the time , and for real ? Once Ive put them in the "girl" position do they realise they have been pigs and now they understand how women feel therefore they will settle down nicely.
It cant be entirely bad for an asshole to feel first hand what he made many women feel before he met me, can it ?
If at least they stop hurting women after they realise how painfull it is, then I have served some purpose, and made a few ladies quite happy, lol.
Am I screwing my lovers up ? or am I grooming them for other women who will make some good out of my left overs?
What says you ?
Thursday 2 December 2010
You cannot help a self destructive man
Carlos (name changed) was a witty sexy very charismatic portuguese bartender. He hit on me straight away when we met 9 years ago.
I have tried to occult this truely unglorious affair but it might help you ladies to learn something vital : YOU CANNOT HELP A SELF DESTRUCTIVE MAN WHO DONT WANT ANY HELP !!!!!!!
Was that big enough ? did you all see it ?
Ok, here is what happened.
For some reason I was feeling a litte vulnerable at the time so when this hottie went out of his way to make a pass at me I asked him to meet me the following day which was the 1st of august, here its like the french 14th of july or the american 4 th of july, day off, big street parties, fireworks ! the whole nine yards.
Indeed he surprised me with fantastic mind blowing sex, even the fireworks outside didnt compare.
I had no idea a peasant boy could be so sensous. In fact I was so impressed I took him on as my shagg buddy.
That sex was unforgettable, we use to play with food, he would drop a dollop of fresh cream on my knee and lick it off, working his way up. he would bite inside an orange before going down on me, showering together, crasy kinky stuff !
He loved brusing my hair , which he asked me to keep long, pfffff, he loved watching me dress. It started really well.....BUT one day , out of the blue I discovered he had a drinking problem, later I discovered he was an alcoholic ! Since Carlos refused to be kept in the closet, we used to go out all the time, shopping, clubbing, holding hands, it was getting a little bit out of control but I saw it too late.
Within 2 months of intense dating I found out he was not only an alcoholic but snorting coke as well ! everything I hate, his dealer even tried to threaten me !.
AND to make matter worse he was still sleeping with the girlfriend he said had left.
What was I to do ?
I was very attached to that bitch, so silly me , with my heart of gold, decided to save him.
He agreed on the condition that I would stay with him. Those were crasy times, i was juggling 2 jobs, my teenage children, my household and keeping my lover on the straight and narrow.
What was I thinking ?
did I really think I could stop an alcoholic bartender from drinking ?
How often did I pick him up from work to drag him to his appartment to make sure he would eat something and sleep. The girlfriend had really left by then because she wanted a baby and he didnt. Suddenly he wanted one with me and was furious when I explained that I had already borne and raised my children and wanted no more. When I would get fed up and refuse to go see him, he would black mail me emotionally saying he was gonna snort a week of salary and it would be my fault. Sometimes the blackmail worked and sometimes I would feel so happy at home with my kids and our 4 cats that I would find the strength to say no.
This was the most toxic relationship I have ever been in, I have dated toxic men after that, but none compares to this lowlife. He was so envious of my life, my familly, my friends, my jobs, even of my frienship with my ex husbands.
Why ? because he was a crasy moron who didnt like to see people beeing happy thats why.
I can truely say that I actually suffered with Carlos, it was so toxic that he would cheat on me and tell me all about it, then I would retaliate by cheating on him and tell him everything.
As months went by however, he would feel so supported by my enthusiasm that he was greatly reducing smoking and drinking, even snorting was out of the picture but he smoked more joints to compensate.
We did some crasy things like al fresco sex, we had shagged on a morning train at 5am returning from a party, we were shagging in the bathroom till the ticket controller knocked on the door, I was blushing so much I looked like a strawberry ! We did it everwhere,in the lift, in the park, in the laundry room, i was so afraid of getting cought ! it was insane, then he would resent me again for not letting him do drugs, I did say clearly that I would leave him immediatelly if he did. We would fight some more and we would have great make up sex, all the time.
Once I switched my phone off because I was hosting an important familly dinner and I didnt want him pestering me, next morning at 6am I was queuing up at the baker and he jumped on me, red eyed and disheveled.
Screaming : Puta why did u leave me alone ? were you with another man? you fucking Puta Im gonna kill you !
It took all my cold blooded diplomatie to calm Carlos down, there was around 10 people watching while he was gesturing and screamimg threats right in my face, I almost expected those people to get the pop corn out.
Nobody lifted a finger to help me. It was like beeing trapped in a Tarantino movie, where the bad man wants to hurt the girl but she has more balls that he does. Since I was no longer prepared to be agressed verbally much longer I slapped him. To this day I cant believe I actually raised my hand to someone. Thats how far he had pushed me, this was wrong I shouldnt have done that but at the time it was the only defense I had.
Carlos's reaction was to break the windows of that bakery, eveverybody run away while he kept screaming at me, I regained some self control and walked him slowly to his building and ask if he wanted to break up.
After a string of : fucking puta, im gonna kill you if you leave carlos! dont you walk away from carlos! pusha !
I left him to sleep it off, but that had really shaken me to the core, i couldnt go on like that.
Next evening, he was sober and behaved normally, I gave him a long speach which in short meant, i want you off booze and drugs now or Im leaving you forever. He seemed to understand and he did stop.
Thas was so nice , we would walk around in a park and he would marvel at the colours of the flowers, birds and trees, he hadnt notice the beautifull Aare river before, he didnt realise there was so much beauty to life without intoxication. I had made it, he was sober, he was saved, off the hook. And he felt extremely gratefull to me for that.
Untill he made the huge mistake of telling his psycho mother back in portugal, about us and his sobriety.
That evil person didnt want a happy son with a good woman, she wanted him , stoned and lonely like her miserable drunken self. She began a huge manipulation, contacting his ex, convincing her that carlos was missing her and that i was just a fling. She so fell for it, the mother knew that girl would never be strong enough to keep Carlos on the straight and narrow, and she knew we would break up when he would drink again. And she won.
One day Carlos and I were clubbing , he saw Lourdes when I was in the bathrom and she made a plea for him.
Exactly one year later after our first date he stood me up so that he could go smoke crack with some other losers in some crack house. I went to his flat the next day and I couldnt believe what I found there....grass, coke, crack pipe. He threw away months of sobriety in one evening !
I left before he could see me cry. In the stairs i decided to man up and I went back in to tell him what an idiot he was to ruin his life, his reaction was :
Go fuck yourself , i dont love you anymore, im going back to lourdes who loves me so much she takes me as i am !
Astonishing ! it was the last thing i expected. I felt quite stupid too, having worked so hard for nothing.
I calmly explained to him what he was doing and that i wouldnt take him back.
(his mumy dearest had counted on that)
As I went home I cried for a week, I felt so humiliated. What made me think I could save a selfdestructive man with an overpowering mother and a retarded girlfriend anyway ?
After 11 days he began calling me regularly, once i was elswhere and my daughter picked the phone up to tell him : Thank you for breaking up with mom, now she can purge her life of you at last, by the way you have made the biggest mistake of you life because you will never find a class act like my mom again.
I was so moved when I found out my daughter said this to this bloke she profoundly dispised. How sweet !
That gave me a lot of energy back and I started to feel better. Carlos kept calling, kept following me eveywhere, explained that mummy dearest had manipulated everyone and that he had already broke up with lourdes and what was he gonna do without me and so on......I could feel myself slowly falling for his lies again so I took drastic actions: I wrote him a long letter that I dropped in his mail box with a CD of Celine Dion."pour que tu m aimes encore"
That letter contained all my resentment, my disapointment, my anger at his stupidity and betrayal. I said I did not want to be his lover, girlfriend or even friend anymore, I forbid him to think of me, to talk to me, I said I didnt even hate him , I just wanted out of this sick , twisted love of his.
That really got to him, he dropped everything and cought the next plane to.........drum rollls: his mom !
The funny thing is this is how I met Djamel, they were about to have a punch up over a professional disagreement in the kitchen and I pulled Carlos out of it. By the time I saw Damel again Carlos was out of my life but we had something to talk about on our first date, lol.
Right after Xmas ,Carlos started calling, he was so lonely and miserable on his mothers farm, he kept asking me to bring him back into the country, he was constantly stoned and drunk. One day I just stopped taking his calls because they were begining to upset me. He did text stalk me for a year after that though.
In conclusion I will say : there is nothing , absolutely nothing you can do to help a self destructive man. A man who goes to alcoholic anonymous and does the 12 steps you can help, but one you have to constantly watch and nurse, you cannot, There you go lesson learned.
If your new man is an alcoholic or a coke head, RUN AWAY no questions asked. It will not make you a bitch, it will make you smart.
I have tried to occult this truely unglorious affair but it might help you ladies to learn something vital : YOU CANNOT HELP A SELF DESTRUCTIVE MAN WHO DONT WANT ANY HELP !!!!!!!
Was that big enough ? did you all see it ?
Ok, here is what happened.
For some reason I was feeling a litte vulnerable at the time so when this hottie went out of his way to make a pass at me I asked him to meet me the following day which was the 1st of august, here its like the french 14th of july or the american 4 th of july, day off, big street parties, fireworks ! the whole nine yards.
Indeed he surprised me with fantastic mind blowing sex, even the fireworks outside didnt compare.
I had no idea a peasant boy could be so sensous. In fact I was so impressed I took him on as my shagg buddy.
That sex was unforgettable, we use to play with food, he would drop a dollop of fresh cream on my knee and lick it off, working his way up. he would bite inside an orange before going down on me, showering together, crasy kinky stuff !
He loved brusing my hair , which he asked me to keep long, pfffff, he loved watching me dress. It started really well.....BUT one day , out of the blue I discovered he had a drinking problem, later I discovered he was an alcoholic ! Since Carlos refused to be kept in the closet, we used to go out all the time, shopping, clubbing, holding hands, it was getting a little bit out of control but I saw it too late.
Within 2 months of intense dating I found out he was not only an alcoholic but snorting coke as well ! everything I hate, his dealer even tried to threaten me !.
AND to make matter worse he was still sleeping with the girlfriend he said had left.
What was I to do ?
I was very attached to that bitch, so silly me , with my heart of gold, decided to save him.
He agreed on the condition that I would stay with him. Those were crasy times, i was juggling 2 jobs, my teenage children, my household and keeping my lover on the straight and narrow.
What was I thinking ?
did I really think I could stop an alcoholic bartender from drinking ?
How often did I pick him up from work to drag him to his appartment to make sure he would eat something and sleep. The girlfriend had really left by then because she wanted a baby and he didnt. Suddenly he wanted one with me and was furious when I explained that I had already borne and raised my children and wanted no more. When I would get fed up and refuse to go see him, he would black mail me emotionally saying he was gonna snort a week of salary and it would be my fault. Sometimes the blackmail worked and sometimes I would feel so happy at home with my kids and our 4 cats that I would find the strength to say no.
This was the most toxic relationship I have ever been in, I have dated toxic men after that, but none compares to this lowlife. He was so envious of my life, my familly, my friends, my jobs, even of my frienship with my ex husbands.
Why ? because he was a crasy moron who didnt like to see people beeing happy thats why.
I can truely say that I actually suffered with Carlos, it was so toxic that he would cheat on me and tell me all about it, then I would retaliate by cheating on him and tell him everything.
As months went by however, he would feel so supported by my enthusiasm that he was greatly reducing smoking and drinking, even snorting was out of the picture but he smoked more joints to compensate.
We did some crasy things like al fresco sex, we had shagged on a morning train at 5am returning from a party, we were shagging in the bathroom till the ticket controller knocked on the door, I was blushing so much I looked like a strawberry ! We did it everwhere,in the lift, in the park, in the laundry room, i was so afraid of getting cought ! it was insane, then he would resent me again for not letting him do drugs, I did say clearly that I would leave him immediatelly if he did. We would fight some more and we would have great make up sex, all the time.
Once I switched my phone off because I was hosting an important familly dinner and I didnt want him pestering me, next morning at 6am I was queuing up at the baker and he jumped on me, red eyed and disheveled.
Screaming : Puta why did u leave me alone ? were you with another man? you fucking Puta Im gonna kill you !
It took all my cold blooded diplomatie to calm Carlos down, there was around 10 people watching while he was gesturing and screamimg threats right in my face, I almost expected those people to get the pop corn out.
Nobody lifted a finger to help me. It was like beeing trapped in a Tarantino movie, where the bad man wants to hurt the girl but she has more balls that he does. Since I was no longer prepared to be agressed verbally much longer I slapped him. To this day I cant believe I actually raised my hand to someone. Thats how far he had pushed me, this was wrong I shouldnt have done that but at the time it was the only defense I had.
Carlos's reaction was to break the windows of that bakery, eveverybody run away while he kept screaming at me, I regained some self control and walked him slowly to his building and ask if he wanted to break up.
After a string of : fucking puta, im gonna kill you if you leave carlos! dont you walk away from carlos! pusha !
I left him to sleep it off, but that had really shaken me to the core, i couldnt go on like that.
Next evening, he was sober and behaved normally, I gave him a long speach which in short meant, i want you off booze and drugs now or Im leaving you forever. He seemed to understand and he did stop.
Thas was so nice , we would walk around in a park and he would marvel at the colours of the flowers, birds and trees, he hadnt notice the beautifull Aare river before, he didnt realise there was so much beauty to life without intoxication. I had made it, he was sober, he was saved, off the hook. And he felt extremely gratefull to me for that.
Untill he made the huge mistake of telling his psycho mother back in portugal, about us and his sobriety.
That evil person didnt want a happy son with a good woman, she wanted him , stoned and lonely like her miserable drunken self. She began a huge manipulation, contacting his ex, convincing her that carlos was missing her and that i was just a fling. She so fell for it, the mother knew that girl would never be strong enough to keep Carlos on the straight and narrow, and she knew we would break up when he would drink again. And she won.
One day Carlos and I were clubbing , he saw Lourdes when I was in the bathrom and she made a plea for him.
Exactly one year later after our first date he stood me up so that he could go smoke crack with some other losers in some crack house. I went to his flat the next day and I couldnt believe what I found there....grass, coke, crack pipe. He threw away months of sobriety in one evening !
I left before he could see me cry. In the stairs i decided to man up and I went back in to tell him what an idiot he was to ruin his life, his reaction was :
Go fuck yourself , i dont love you anymore, im going back to lourdes who loves me so much she takes me as i am !
Astonishing ! it was the last thing i expected. I felt quite stupid too, having worked so hard for nothing.
I calmly explained to him what he was doing and that i wouldnt take him back.
(his mumy dearest had counted on that)
As I went home I cried for a week, I felt so humiliated. What made me think I could save a selfdestructive man with an overpowering mother and a retarded girlfriend anyway ?
After 11 days he began calling me regularly, once i was elswhere and my daughter picked the phone up to tell him : Thank you for breaking up with mom, now she can purge her life of you at last, by the way you have made the biggest mistake of you life because you will never find a class act like my mom again.
I was so moved when I found out my daughter said this to this bloke she profoundly dispised. How sweet !
That gave me a lot of energy back and I started to feel better. Carlos kept calling, kept following me eveywhere, explained that mummy dearest had manipulated everyone and that he had already broke up with lourdes and what was he gonna do without me and so on......I could feel myself slowly falling for his lies again so I took drastic actions: I wrote him a long letter that I dropped in his mail box with a CD of Celine Dion."pour que tu m aimes encore"
That letter contained all my resentment, my disapointment, my anger at his stupidity and betrayal. I said I did not want to be his lover, girlfriend or even friend anymore, I forbid him to think of me, to talk to me, I said I didnt even hate him , I just wanted out of this sick , twisted love of his.
That really got to him, he dropped everything and cought the next plane to.........drum rollls: his mom !
The funny thing is this is how I met Djamel, they were about to have a punch up over a professional disagreement in the kitchen and I pulled Carlos out of it. By the time I saw Damel again Carlos was out of my life but we had something to talk about on our first date, lol.
Right after Xmas ,Carlos started calling, he was so lonely and miserable on his mothers farm, he kept asking me to bring him back into the country, he was constantly stoned and drunk. One day I just stopped taking his calls because they were begining to upset me. He did text stalk me for a year after that though.
In conclusion I will say : there is nothing , absolutely nothing you can do to help a self destructive man. A man who goes to alcoholic anonymous and does the 12 steps you can help, but one you have to constantly watch and nurse, you cannot, There you go lesson learned.
If your new man is an alcoholic or a coke head, RUN AWAY no questions asked. It will not make you a bitch, it will make you smart.
Monday 29 November 2010
Are real men sensitive and emotional ?
Some discussions I have had lately with my daughter and with some friends have made me wonder about it.Are real men actually sensitive, emotional, fully equipped with a brain and a heart ?
In the 80's and the 90's, a man was supposed to be , heartless, selfish, totally insensitive (except for football), tougher than us, more academically educated than us, less smart than us, chain smoking, not involved in the raising of his children and absolutely clueless about female orgasm, giving equally bad sex to his wife and mistresses while demanding absolute obedience and fidelity from said poor wife and mistresses.
I am afraid many countries are still stagnating into this nonsense.
However, we in the free world have evolved beautifully, most men are careful about their diet, quit smoking and actually exercise because they do want to keep looking sexy for their woman and not impose on them.
More and more young men are immersed in the raising of their little ones and carry on looking after them even after a divorce. I see many men push pram around, shop for groceries and have parent teacher meetings.
Some even love being stay at home dads while mom is away working hard. And some dont even mind their women being better qualified and better paid !
By the time I was a mother and working fulltime, I would put in a 9 hours day work and come home to my husband who had done exactly the same and now wanted to be served a good home cooked meal in a spotless apartment, I actually had to work twice ! My husband and I use to clash constantly about his cro magnon attitude and even then I resented the lack of sharing the chores.
Now, most couple have worked it out brilliantly, I was invited to a friend's house for Thanksgiving and most of the delicious food had been cooked by her husband.. My daughter has many talents but she cannot cook to save her life, at the start of each new relationship she always warns her boyfriends who always answer that its ok because they can cook quite well.
So, they cook, they look after the kids, they do their share of housework.... what else do they do ? They look nice for us. New men take care of themselves, hygiene and grooming are no longer considered unmanly.
And they even are better lovers....they read books and magazine articles about it, they no longer just hump and turn around to snore loudly, they want us to scream their names and come all over the place and say they are the very best we ever had.
Ever tried to watch a comedy or a sentimental movie with a guy ? First they will complain endlessly about that sissy stuff but soon they will be into the plot so much that they will groan if you put the movie on stand still just to see their reaction. They might not shed a tear but they will smile tenderly when Bridget Jones finally get to kiss Colin Firth in the snow. Awwww
In front of other men they will act as Cro magnon as can be , but once alone with you they will reverse to being loving big teddy bears.
Whilst we have had to toughen up and harden ourselves a little in order to combat them with their weapons, a lot of men have gotten in touch with their heart and are no longer afraid to talk, to open up, even to show their vulnerability to the one woman they do trust.
Is it that they dont want to be like their fathers were or is that they were raised by strong women ( like my son has been raised)?
Who cares ? what really matters is....more men are leveling out nicely with women and it can work beautifully.
Of course not all of today's men are like this, my point is : a real man is like this.
So if your man, treats you badly, pushes you around and trashes your feelings, if he fucks you selfishly but never makes love to you, never gives you an orgasm. If he cheats on you, lies to you, never does anything around the house, always has his mates around but never lets you invite yours.
If he is brutal, ignorant, macho and dominant, then you know you do not have a real man....you have an idiot neanderthalian who imagines that real men actually behaves like apes.
Check my ebook
Saturday 27 November 2010
My german shagbuddy broke up with me ! WTF ?
Martin and I have been enjoying meeting secretly for evenings of fabulous romantic dreamlike love making for 2 months and a half now. I texted him yesterday about something casual and he came running saying I am quite transparent, he knew that if I text him it means I must need him. Need him ? Does'nt he mean want to shag him ?
Last night he was acting a little differently, he hadnt shaved and he jumped me straight away, so not like him.
However we were soon rolling over on my bed, kissing passionately ( ahhh the way he kisses !!!!) the magic was on again, he was cupping my head with his left hand, had his right arm around my waist , he was gazing into my eyes, whispering how beautiful this was....so schöne....It was perfect !
And I allowed myself to think this was exactly what I wanted, it cant get any better. And this magical kissing again.......the thought of it.
At some point I gave him a fabulous blow job but when he got back on top SPLASH !!!! he came too soon and I had it all over my thorax , some landed on the right side of my face ! Yuck !
He smiled that funny crooked smile of his...oops sorry ! I wiped that mess and saw his manhood go limp again. Sigh ...
He held me close to his heart, held me so tight for so long I should have known some serious back stubbing was going to happen.
He was caressing my back slowly, he was playing with my hair, he was kissing my neck, he was whispering sweet nothings in my ears, everything was as it should be....I was in no way prepared for what was coming.
He started to get dressed and I was teasing him with little kisses on his neck and I even got him to lay down on my bed again. My cat came up to say hello and Martin started to pet her.
Suddenly he said : I cant do this anymore.
I misunderstood and thought I wasnt not getting laid anymore tonight because he cant get it up again.
Then he said something that set my inner alarm off :
-I dont want to hurt you.
Generally when people say that it means they are going to try to hurt you.
It went like this :
M- we cant go on like this
C- what do u mean liebling ?
M- This is too much, its not a one night stand anymore.
C-So its a several night stand, I believe the word you are looking for is shag buddies, we are shag buddies thats all, you are thinking way too much .
M-We kiss so much and so deeply, we make love so closely, you cant get enough of me and its confusing me, in here ( pointing to his heart)
C-I cant get enough of your body when it is inside mine , yeah but this is purely sexual. When I have sex I really get into the moment , just like when I eat chocolate I close my eyes and really enjoy that moment, its about savouring thats all, nobody is going to fall in love here, stop worrying about nothing.
M-Thats the point, when we make love its so incredibly good and we get so intimate and so close, dont you think its a little weird doing something so profound outside a loving bond ?
M- come on Martin we are having fun, I got great times to give you, without any complications or strings attached, what more could you want ?
M-I dont want to have just fun I want to be loved, I want a woman for life.
C-Did we not agree on no relationship from day 1 ? U want one now ????
M-No I dont want a relationship. I want a soul mate.
C-A what ? All I have to give you is fabulous sex, tons of it.
M- I know, but I just want to have that kind of sex with the woman who will be my soul mate.
C- you wanna deprive yourself of great sex for someone you dont even know?
M-No I am gonna have sex with lots of others till I find her but not the kind of sex we have, I just think such deep intimate love making should only take place between 2 people who love each other thats all. I want sex but not like this, its too good, its too much.
C-I have known the kind of love you are dreaming of, and its beautiful beyond description, however the price of it is extremely high, and when this love gets yanked out of your heart as it always does , one way or another, the pain is excruciating, thats why I decided to quit love, it hurts too much.
M-look that thing we have is no longer just fucking, we have reached a point where we either develop a relationship or we break up. I decided that we need to break up because its going too far. The next time I feel this, I want it to mean something, not fun, not casual dating.
C-......................
M-say something.
C-.....................
M-its ok if you want to cry.
C-......................
M-Promess me that you are not gonna cry.
C-Dude, why should I cry, it is you who is making a Greek tragedy, not me. I think its pretty silly to lose all this for an illusion, you could have been my shagbuddy for years without any official involvment till you found somebody. Too bad.
M-Look Im so confused, maybe we should have a break so that I can work out what I want, or maybe we should just breakup. but I cant carry on like this.
you need to chuck me out and get mad at me.
C-Nah its ok, Im just not gonna call you anymore till you make a move.
He told my cat he was going to miss her, the silly bitch broke up with my cat too!
I remained ladylike and kissed him goodbye as I opened the door.
Goodness me ! have you ever heard of anything that ridiculous ?
Stupid German boy missing out of lots of hot sex for no real reason, settling for ordinary sex so that it doesnt get too much for him. pffffff
However I wasnt gonna give him the power to have me waiting , Hell no !
I texted him later and wrote : it was beautiful between us but you are right, we must stop now.
There ! that will show the bitch how to work out what he wants.
This has happened to me before, countless times and it still annoys me. Most of my shaggbuddies always give me an ultimatum, relationship or break up.
I cant believe I got dumped without having a relationship to be chucked out of.
I still maintain this is extremely stupid, my friend MN, a man whose opinion I value ,says that a lot of men are more sensitive than we think. My son to whom I said it happened to a friend ,( without the gory details,) said he has many friends who say this to girls just to watch them plead and sometimes its because they want to force a relationship on the girl.
What says you ?
I am still too fuming to think clearly.
Check my ebook here
Wednesday 24 November 2010
Confort sex
An old friend ( well a shag buddie of mine ) that I hadnt seen in a couple of months while he was visiting his familly in Nigeria, returned to my city this week. I was quite pleased to see him and we decided to meet for coffee today. He was telling me all about his holls but I could see something was wrong , there was sadness in his eyes, I insisted he tells me whats wrong.
He was aproached in a club by a white lady to have sex, he turned her down as he was not attracted to her. She then offered him money ! He still turned her down because he is not a whore. Then her husband offered him more money if he could watch ! He was upset that this rich white couple was not only insulting his character, they were not listening as well !
How obtuse can some people be ? Just because they are bored and have money it doesnt mean they can force working class people to degrade themselves at will ?
Had Mike been a professional hustler , this couple probably wouldnt have looked at him, they just wanted the evil cheap thril of hurting someone's feelings or breaking down his spirit.
And it is not the first time this has been pushed on Mike but this time was the last straw ! I do find Mike very hot but I still would have done what I did if he had been plain.
What did I do ?
I cupped his face in my hands......kissed his face, kissed his lips, till he began kissing back. Soon we were making out on my couch and I made gentle love to him till he relaxed and felt good about himself again.
It wasnt the best shag ever for me but that wasnt the point. Mike was hurting, he needed to be comforted and I comforted him big time.
It wasnt about me today, it was about putting a smile back on a shagbuddie's face.
Mission accomplished !
You see ? I can be generous too when the occasion calls for it.
Later I asked Mike if he would have prostituted himself, had he liked the woman......and he said no.
Why not ?
Because he has heard of too many African young men who sold themselves like this and once you start you cannot stop, this to Jerome, is pretty terrifying.
So the best way to not be swallowed up by evil is to stay well away from it.
He was aproached in a club by a white lady to have sex, he turned her down as he was not attracted to her. She then offered him money ! He still turned her down because he is not a whore. Then her husband offered him more money if he could watch ! He was upset that this rich white couple was not only insulting his character, they were not listening as well !
How obtuse can some people be ? Just because they are bored and have money it doesnt mean they can force working class people to degrade themselves at will ?
Had Mike been a professional hustler , this couple probably wouldnt have looked at him, they just wanted the evil cheap thril of hurting someone's feelings or breaking down his spirit.
And it is not the first time this has been pushed on Mike but this time was the last straw ! I do find Mike very hot but I still would have done what I did if he had been plain.
What did I do ?
I cupped his face in my hands......kissed his face, kissed his lips, till he began kissing back. Soon we were making out on my couch and I made gentle love to him till he relaxed and felt good about himself again.
It wasnt the best shag ever for me but that wasnt the point. Mike was hurting, he needed to be comforted and I comforted him big time.
It wasnt about me today, it was about putting a smile back on a shagbuddie's face.
Mission accomplished !
You see ? I can be generous too when the occasion calls for it.
Later I asked Mike if he would have prostituted himself, had he liked the woman......and he said no.
Why not ?
Because he has heard of too many African young men who sold themselves like this and once you start you cannot stop, this to Jerome, is pretty terrifying.
So the best way to not be swallowed up by evil is to stay well away from it.
The most heinous question a man can ask
There is a really ridiculous and rude question some men ask women, it has always driven me bonkers. This is such an intrusion in my private life !!!!
Women never ever ask that most heinous question to men.
Women might ask : How often have you been in love before ?
Men stupidly ask : How many men have you slept with before me ?
Of all the idiotic questions to ask ?
How dare they ? Who cares ?
They dont ask how many men we have loved, No, they want to know how many penises have been there before theirs.
Why ?
For crying outloud why ?
Never ever answer this intrusive question because you will never win.
If you havent had many lovers, your man will think nobody wanted you before he did.
If you have had many lovers, he will call you a whore, yes he will.
There is no winning this.
No matter what you do, dont tell him ! or the one after that or the ones after that !
A famous german ladies mags run a story on this and advised readers to lie and make up a number according to how old they are so that it sounds plausible but keeping the number down anyway. So now we have to lie about the amount of pleasure we were lucky to have in our lives so far ?
Sounds a little hypocritical to me.
If a man is happy to enjoy sex with someone sexually competant who gives him mind blowing orgasms then we can suppose he must have figured out that she didnt learn this overnight from a couple of quickies, right ?
So , gentlemen, if you are happy with what you are beeing freely given, just enjoy and do not try to analyse.
I have always refused to answer that ridiculous 3td degree.
I remember Carlos who was an alcoholic and a cheater asking me this repeatedly till I bursted : Hey ! You think I could get that good in bed by doing only one man ?
To Dylan, a sweet one night stand, I just distracted him with kisses.
To Vaclav, a cute slovaquian movie husher, I answered he didnt know me enough to ask perssonal questions of this nature.
To Tony, a sexy confidant spaniard, I answered, probably as much as you have had, that got him laughing wholeheartedly.
To most others I just reply : I didnt ask you how many you have been with, so leave me alone. And if they try to talk about how many girls they scored, I just refuse to listen, you know they will lie about it anyway so that would be a pretty pointless exercise.
I just argue that this is none of my business, it happened before you met me, therefore it is ancient history. ( unless they got infected with some crap from their exes. )
I do have two exceptions however, it is apropriate to answer this question to your very first man, and specially if it is the man you have chosen to be your husband. I was so very proud to tell Jake, my then fiancé that I was a virgin and he was extremely surprised but happy.
So unless this is the man you are gonna marry, any other sex toys, oops I mean any other men you play with, is not entitled to ask the heinous question. Ever.
To almost everyone else I will smile and whisper sweetly: its really none of your business, just enjoy the ride will you ?
Ladies please, dont answer that, men dont want to know you can actually compare them to many others, and they dont want someone no one wanted. Unless they are religious men and want a virgin but thats an entirely different debate.
In the mean time :
Men : do not ask !
Ladies : do not answer !
Women never ever ask that most heinous question to men.
Women might ask : How often have you been in love before ?
Men stupidly ask : How many men have you slept with before me ?
Of all the idiotic questions to ask ?
How dare they ? Who cares ?
They dont ask how many men we have loved, No, they want to know how many penises have been there before theirs.
Why ?
For crying outloud why ?
Never ever answer this intrusive question because you will never win.
If you havent had many lovers, your man will think nobody wanted you before he did.
If you have had many lovers, he will call you a whore, yes he will.
There is no winning this.
No matter what you do, dont tell him ! or the one after that or the ones after that !
A famous german ladies mags run a story on this and advised readers to lie and make up a number according to how old they are so that it sounds plausible but keeping the number down anyway. So now we have to lie about the amount of pleasure we were lucky to have in our lives so far ?
Sounds a little hypocritical to me.
If a man is happy to enjoy sex with someone sexually competant who gives him mind blowing orgasms then we can suppose he must have figured out that she didnt learn this overnight from a couple of quickies, right ?
So , gentlemen, if you are happy with what you are beeing freely given, just enjoy and do not try to analyse.
I have always refused to answer that ridiculous 3td degree.
I remember Carlos who was an alcoholic and a cheater asking me this repeatedly till I bursted : Hey ! You think I could get that good in bed by doing only one man ?
To Dylan, a sweet one night stand, I just distracted him with kisses.
To Vaclav, a cute slovaquian movie husher, I answered he didnt know me enough to ask perssonal questions of this nature.
To Tony, a sexy confidant spaniard, I answered, probably as much as you have had, that got him laughing wholeheartedly.
To most others I just reply : I didnt ask you how many you have been with, so leave me alone. And if they try to talk about how many girls they scored, I just refuse to listen, you know they will lie about it anyway so that would be a pretty pointless exercise.
I just argue that this is none of my business, it happened before you met me, therefore it is ancient history. ( unless they got infected with some crap from their exes. )
I do have two exceptions however, it is apropriate to answer this question to your very first man, and specially if it is the man you have chosen to be your husband. I was so very proud to tell Jake, my then fiancé that I was a virgin and he was extremely surprised but happy.
So unless this is the man you are gonna marry, any other sex toys, oops I mean any other men you play with, is not entitled to ask the heinous question. Ever.
To almost everyone else I will smile and whisper sweetly: its really none of your business, just enjoy the ride will you ?
Ladies please, dont answer that, men dont want to know you can actually compare them to many others, and they dont want someone no one wanted. Unless they are religious men and want a virgin but thats an entirely different debate.
In the mean time :
Men : do not ask !
Ladies : do not answer !
Sunday 21 November 2010
The hypocrisy of open relationships
When i was married or even in a serious relationship, I considered fidelity came with the territory of officially belonging with the man I loved.
Since I decided to remain single and claim my sexual freedom and my fun , I have simply refused to be involved in a relationship again.
Besides, a man would be quite unhappy with me now, Im still a kind, loving, nurturing woman but I just cant go trough the servitude of relationships or marriage again, constantly making compromises, pretending to seek his aproval, yuck !
Hence my behaviour, Im not anyone's woman therefore Im not cheating on anyone, no man gets hurt because of my bed hopping.
My conscience is therefore in peace.
However i know at least 4 long term couples, one of them gay, 2 of them married, who practice open relationships.
People say an open relationship is an excuse to cheat without consequences.
I guess anything goes between 2 consenting adults, but are they really all consenting to their man/woman getting bouncy with others ?
How much of this is based on fear and intimidation I wonder ?
Of course it is much more honnest to have an open relationship that to lie, deceive and cheat on your partner, but does the non cheating partner really really not mind at all ?
I was once asked by this mate of mine if I would please have sex with her husband so as to rekindle his failing interest in physical pleasure, WTF ?
Her master plan was we would have sex and she would join us later in bed to take over. I politely declined after pointing out all the flaws in her plan.
This really beautiful bisexual married librarian once asked me to sleep with her while her husband would watch, its ok, he doesnt mind, Oh but I do bloody mind !
2 of my shag buddies have asked me to 3some and went quiet when I glared silently at them.
I understand men asking their wives for a 3some as a birthday present, i do, altough I wouldnt give that to no men of mine, but to just go out and say you are gonna shag that new girl from the office but it wont mean a thing ? Duh !
It is not cheating if we both agree, come on guys, are you serious ?
I once read this article in a famous ladies mags about a woman who had agreed to an open relationship in order not to lose her husband. It was pathetic, she had a whole list of do's and donts that he swore he would stick to.
Unrealistic rules like :
He cant know their names, cant exchange phone numbers and emails,cant give them head, cant french kiss them , cant gaze into their eyes and so on, whats next ? he is not allowed to come ?
Bitch please !
Can you just visualise such a scene :
2 people having sex, sweating, moaning, coming all over the place, having a good time and remembering the whole time not to kiss and not to lock onto each other's eyes , not to get too carried away ?
"oh wait Ive just kissed you passionately !I shouldnt have done that, I feel ever so guilty !" he'd say or : "oops ! I'd ask your name to shout it while I come but Im not "allowed"
to which she'd answer " its perfectly understandable, I really dont want to disrespect your wife" or " would you mind not twirling your tongue there ? my husband did insist that I only do this with him"
Sex is the only time when we are really free, totally attuned to ourselves, to nature, to life. The very time when we have no restrictions. So to temper with that , seems plain wrong to me.
I used to quite like my shag buddy Djamel, but he wanted a real relationship with me, at some point I actually had the weakness to offer him an open relationship, he had never heard of that, I explained what it was and he was so horrified I wonder what had possessed me to offer it in the first place. So I broke up instead.
There you go, lesson learned.
When I was a teenager I read "les liaisons dangereuses" and I used to think it would be cool to have a boyfriend like Valmont I could really be naughty with, share sexperiences and compare notes with.
When I did meet such a man, I realised it wasnt cool at all, at least not for me.
There you go, lesson learned , again !
What is it with guys and open relationships, porn, 3somes and all that crap ?
Im not saying this is wrong , im saying it is not for me and it certainly should not be forced on women.
If you have no desire left for each other, settle down for a loving friendship instead, like my ex husbands and I have, this is a really wonderful connection that cannot be messed up.
What says you gentlemen ?
Since I decided to remain single and claim my sexual freedom and my fun , I have simply refused to be involved in a relationship again.
Besides, a man would be quite unhappy with me now, Im still a kind, loving, nurturing woman but I just cant go trough the servitude of relationships or marriage again, constantly making compromises, pretending to seek his aproval, yuck !
Hence my behaviour, Im not anyone's woman therefore Im not cheating on anyone, no man gets hurt because of my bed hopping.
My conscience is therefore in peace.
However i know at least 4 long term couples, one of them gay, 2 of them married, who practice open relationships.
People say an open relationship is an excuse to cheat without consequences.
I guess anything goes between 2 consenting adults, but are they really all consenting to their man/woman getting bouncy with others ?
How much of this is based on fear and intimidation I wonder ?
Of course it is much more honnest to have an open relationship that to lie, deceive and cheat on your partner, but does the non cheating partner really really not mind at all ?
I was once asked by this mate of mine if I would please have sex with her husband so as to rekindle his failing interest in physical pleasure, WTF ?
Her master plan was we would have sex and she would join us later in bed to take over. I politely declined after pointing out all the flaws in her plan.
This really beautiful bisexual married librarian once asked me to sleep with her while her husband would watch, its ok, he doesnt mind, Oh but I do bloody mind !
2 of my shag buddies have asked me to 3some and went quiet when I glared silently at them.
I understand men asking their wives for a 3some as a birthday present, i do, altough I wouldnt give that to no men of mine, but to just go out and say you are gonna shag that new girl from the office but it wont mean a thing ? Duh !
It is not cheating if we both agree, come on guys, are you serious ?
I once read this article in a famous ladies mags about a woman who had agreed to an open relationship in order not to lose her husband. It was pathetic, she had a whole list of do's and donts that he swore he would stick to.
Unrealistic rules like :
He cant know their names, cant exchange phone numbers and emails,cant give them head, cant french kiss them , cant gaze into their eyes and so on, whats next ? he is not allowed to come ?
Bitch please !
Can you just visualise such a scene :
2 people having sex, sweating, moaning, coming all over the place, having a good time and remembering the whole time not to kiss and not to lock onto each other's eyes , not to get too carried away ?
"oh wait Ive just kissed you passionately !I shouldnt have done that, I feel ever so guilty !" he'd say or : "oops ! I'd ask your name to shout it while I come but Im not "allowed"
to which she'd answer " its perfectly understandable, I really dont want to disrespect your wife" or " would you mind not twirling your tongue there ? my husband did insist that I only do this with him"
Sex is the only time when we are really free, totally attuned to ourselves, to nature, to life. The very time when we have no restrictions. So to temper with that , seems plain wrong to me.
I used to quite like my shag buddy Djamel, but he wanted a real relationship with me, at some point I actually had the weakness to offer him an open relationship, he had never heard of that, I explained what it was and he was so horrified I wonder what had possessed me to offer it in the first place. So I broke up instead.
There you go, lesson learned.
When I was a teenager I read "les liaisons dangereuses" and I used to think it would be cool to have a boyfriend like Valmont I could really be naughty with, share sexperiences and compare notes with.
When I did meet such a man, I realised it wasnt cool at all, at least not for me.
There you go, lesson learned , again !
What is it with guys and open relationships, porn, 3somes and all that crap ?
Im not saying this is wrong , im saying it is not for me and it certainly should not be forced on women.
If you have no desire left for each other, settle down for a loving friendship instead, like my ex husbands and I have, this is a really wonderful connection that cannot be messed up.
What says you gentlemen ?
Friday 19 November 2010
Great sex without love
To all the ladies of all ages, credos, race and social conditions, for crying outloud : STOP PLAYING VICTIMS !
YOU CAN HAVE THE JOY OF SEX WITHOUT THE PAINS OF LOVE !!!!
Are you paying attention ?
Ok, here goes :
Sexual attraction is purely physiological, your body is getting aroused by another body.
Your whole beeing is sending signals and so is his (or hers as the case may be )
-It can be someone you have just met and suddenly as you shake his hand you find you like the feel of his skin, his temperature, his firm muscles, you look into his eyes and you really like what you see.
-You are in a crowded room and suddenly you look across and see someone that you cant take your eyes off, he comes over to say hello and your mouth goes dry, you almost mumble and your heart is racing.
-You have known this person for a while and are comfortable with him, then something is said or something happens that make you look at him in a different way and you wonder what he would look like on top of you with his hair messed and his eyes drowned in pleasure.
You got the picture now ? Physical attraction is mainly physical, you dont need to be in love or pretend to be in love or tell everyone about it. You dont need to make plans or play hard to get or worry about what he will think of you. He certainly does not.
So somehow you have managed to be in bed/in a car/the club's bathroom/against a door/on the carpet/on your desk.... whatever !
The point is now you are getting sexual with each other, the secret is :
Live the moment to the full ! enjoy this extraordinary gift life is giving you. A moment or a night of sexual pleasure with someone cool who wants to share it with you at that very moment.
Just give yourself as much as you want to give and whatever you want to give as far as it is acceptable to you, in my case I dont do anal sex and I dont sado maso brutal stuff but everything else goes ! So give your body as much as you like at that very moment and take as much from your lover's body too.
Give yourself permision to let go.
Enjoy enjoy enjoy !
Making love is give and take and share and lets go round again, yoohoohoo !
Please do not do any serious thinking during sex, this is the only thing that you get to do for yourself only, no one can take it back, this moment belongs to you, and to the man sharing it with you. Please put your brain on hold once the condoms are on and the feel good hormons start flowing.
When I was young, stupid and vulnerable, I use to intellectualise my sexual relationships way too much, my boyfriend/lover/husband would be shagging my body and my brain would wonder why he had said this and that before and prepare what i was gonna tell him afterwards. I use to wonder if he truely loved me or would he still respect me in the morning or was he comparing me to the girl he dated before me, or how or why or how or why.....
The result was, I didnt really come and he would aways be on my mind even when he wasnt there, trying to thing back to the shag and make some sense of it.
How frustrating !
Many women make the same mistake because of the hypocritical sacralisation of sex, designed only to take our power away.
Just enjoy the guy when he is inside you and dont think about him until he is back in your arms, thats all.
In my mid thirties , I got my heart broken for the third time and had a year off sex. Yes, yours truely took a break from sex for a whole year.
Actually my intention had been to never have sex again after my husband. I was in shock and behaved like an old spinster.
One night in Interlaken, I was having dinner with my girlfriend Leila who lamented that I had chucked love out of my life for a man who had already rebuilt his, a really cute irish waiter called Collin ( name changed )was serving our food with a lovely smile, big green eyes and pouty lips. When my friend Leila's words kicked in,
I thought :
love is a bitch, im still suffering and he has another woman ! this would not have happened if I had been cold and bitchy and manly.
So I looked at Collin and said : Hey Collin, I havent had sex since my husband and I broke up a year ago, do u wanna get together after work and shag ? no strings attached , I just want to feel the joy of sex again, whaddya say ?
Poor Collin almost droped his tray and giggles : Im your man ! meet me back here at 11.30 pm and Ill show you the stars.
I said , fine, its a date, and ordered some creme brulées for dessert.
Apetite for good food was returning to me too !
How can I describe my friend leila's face.....red, white, red again. She was utterly shocked :
-You are not really gonna do this are you ?
-Yes I am, didnt you say I was turning into a spinster ?
-What do you know about that irish kid ? and how will you feel afterwards and
im not letting you do this ! Are you mad ?
-I know what i need to know about that kid, he is sexy, he is willing and im getting laid tonight after a long dry spell. I dont want to give it any thinking, im not mad im just tired of living in the memory of my past love, and im not asking your permission.
As I paid the bill, Collin asked me if I really meant that, I answered i never would have said it otherwise.
I came back at the said time, with Leila on tow, still trying to talk me out of it.
Collin arrived and we left.
Back at his place he was a little nervous, much more than I was and it was MY first experience of loveless sex. He started asking me my name and if i had brothers or sisters , where I came from. I just undressed and commented about the football world cup which Italy had won that very day.
And it happened, we had really really good sex ! For me it was a way to admit to myself that my marriage was truely over. But soon it became much more than that, I had so much fun in Collins arms, I had forgotten what it felt like to be kissed , to be held, to have hands playing in my then long hair, to feel a muscular body swinging hips against me, it was magnificient and it went on all night. Italians would hoot their horns contantly, pleased that they were to have won the world cup but it didnt matter to us. As some point Collin whispered "fucking italians !" and I giggled " a propos fucking ..... ?" it was brilliant! I could laugh again, I could make jokes.
Take the drama out of making love and it becomes so alive ! Thats how I felt that night in my irish waiter's arms, alive, sexy, born again me !
next morning at 7am I met Leila for breakfast and told her all about it. She couldnt have been more horrified, she said I should feel empty, how could someone have sex without any meaning or emotion tied to it, I might as well have used a vibrator on myself in her opinion.
I reply cooly that this was the new me and she should be happy for me, when was the last time she had seen me smile like this ? she didnt remember, right.
Check my ebook here
YOU CAN HAVE THE JOY OF SEX WITHOUT THE PAINS OF LOVE !!!!
Are you paying attention ?
Ok, here goes :
Sexual attraction is purely physiological, your body is getting aroused by another body.
Your whole beeing is sending signals and so is his (or hers as the case may be )
-It can be someone you have just met and suddenly as you shake his hand you find you like the feel of his skin, his temperature, his firm muscles, you look into his eyes and you really like what you see.
-You are in a crowded room and suddenly you look across and see someone that you cant take your eyes off, he comes over to say hello and your mouth goes dry, you almost mumble and your heart is racing.
-You have known this person for a while and are comfortable with him, then something is said or something happens that make you look at him in a different way and you wonder what he would look like on top of you with his hair messed and his eyes drowned in pleasure.
You got the picture now ? Physical attraction is mainly physical, you dont need to be in love or pretend to be in love or tell everyone about it. You dont need to make plans or play hard to get or worry about what he will think of you. He certainly does not.
So somehow you have managed to be in bed/in a car/the club's bathroom/against a door/on the carpet/on your desk.... whatever !
The point is now you are getting sexual with each other, the secret is :
Live the moment to the full ! enjoy this extraordinary gift life is giving you. A moment or a night of sexual pleasure with someone cool who wants to share it with you at that very moment.
Just give yourself as much as you want to give and whatever you want to give as far as it is acceptable to you, in my case I dont do anal sex and I dont sado maso brutal stuff but everything else goes ! So give your body as much as you like at that very moment and take as much from your lover's body too.
Give yourself permision to let go.
Enjoy enjoy enjoy !
Making love is give and take and share and lets go round again, yoohoohoo !
Please do not do any serious thinking during sex, this is the only thing that you get to do for yourself only, no one can take it back, this moment belongs to you, and to the man sharing it with you. Please put your brain on hold once the condoms are on and the feel good hormons start flowing.
When I was young, stupid and vulnerable, I use to intellectualise my sexual relationships way too much, my boyfriend/lover/husband would be shagging my body and my brain would wonder why he had said this and that before and prepare what i was gonna tell him afterwards. I use to wonder if he truely loved me or would he still respect me in the morning or was he comparing me to the girl he dated before me, or how or why or how or why.....
The result was, I didnt really come and he would aways be on my mind even when he wasnt there, trying to thing back to the shag and make some sense of it.
How frustrating !
Many women make the same mistake because of the hypocritical sacralisation of sex, designed only to take our power away.
Just enjoy the guy when he is inside you and dont think about him until he is back in your arms, thats all.
In my mid thirties , I got my heart broken for the third time and had a year off sex. Yes, yours truely took a break from sex for a whole year.
Actually my intention had been to never have sex again after my husband. I was in shock and behaved like an old spinster.
One night in Interlaken, I was having dinner with my girlfriend Leila who lamented that I had chucked love out of my life for a man who had already rebuilt his, a really cute irish waiter called Collin ( name changed )was serving our food with a lovely smile, big green eyes and pouty lips. When my friend Leila's words kicked in,
I thought :
love is a bitch, im still suffering and he has another woman ! this would not have happened if I had been cold and bitchy and manly.
So I looked at Collin and said : Hey Collin, I havent had sex since my husband and I broke up a year ago, do u wanna get together after work and shag ? no strings attached , I just want to feel the joy of sex again, whaddya say ?
Poor Collin almost droped his tray and giggles : Im your man ! meet me back here at 11.30 pm and Ill show you the stars.
I said , fine, its a date, and ordered some creme brulées for dessert.
Apetite for good food was returning to me too !
How can I describe my friend leila's face.....red, white, red again. She was utterly shocked :
-You are not really gonna do this are you ?
-Yes I am, didnt you say I was turning into a spinster ?
-What do you know about that irish kid ? and how will you feel afterwards and
im not letting you do this ! Are you mad ?
-I know what i need to know about that kid, he is sexy, he is willing and im getting laid tonight after a long dry spell. I dont want to give it any thinking, im not mad im just tired of living in the memory of my past love, and im not asking your permission.
As I paid the bill, Collin asked me if I really meant that, I answered i never would have said it otherwise.
I came back at the said time, with Leila on tow, still trying to talk me out of it.
Collin arrived and we left.
Back at his place he was a little nervous, much more than I was and it was MY first experience of loveless sex. He started asking me my name and if i had brothers or sisters , where I came from. I just undressed and commented about the football world cup which Italy had won that very day.
And it happened, we had really really good sex ! For me it was a way to admit to myself that my marriage was truely over. But soon it became much more than that, I had so much fun in Collins arms, I had forgotten what it felt like to be kissed , to be held, to have hands playing in my then long hair, to feel a muscular body swinging hips against me, it was magnificient and it went on all night. Italians would hoot their horns contantly, pleased that they were to have won the world cup but it didnt matter to us. As some point Collin whispered "fucking italians !" and I giggled " a propos fucking ..... ?" it was brilliant! I could laugh again, I could make jokes.
Take the drama out of making love and it becomes so alive ! Thats how I felt that night in my irish waiter's arms, alive, sexy, born again me !
next morning at 7am I met Leila for breakfast and told her all about it. She couldnt have been more horrified, she said I should feel empty, how could someone have sex without any meaning or emotion tied to it, I might as well have used a vibrator on myself in her opinion.
I reply cooly that this was the new me and she should be happy for me, when was the last time she had seen me smile like this ? she didnt remember, right.
I dont like solitary pleasures so as long as I can get laid I will get laid, and fuck emotions ,fuck love, fuck meaning and all this hypocrisies that slow us down and makes us vulnerable, The joy of sex witout the pains of love was gonna liberate me ¨
And liberate me it has indeed ! I never looked back since, I did of course have a couple of near relapses but it got under control soon enough and it comfirmed my position.
So dear ladies, this is how its done, and man does it feel good !Check my ebook here
Tuesday 16 November 2010
raw sex vs romantic sex
2 days ago I hit the sheet with Igor again, he is all about raw sex. He rips his clothes off trows me on the couch , kisses me hard and gets down and dirty. I love it !!!!
BUT yesterday I felt like seeing Martin and he came running, I hadnt seen Martin in a while so that felt like something new, I actually had butterflies in my stomach waiting for him, I treated myself to a long bubble bath and a facial and enjoyed the butterfly thing. When he rang the door I checked myself in the mirror and saw that I still had bits of facial cream on my neck ! yuck ! luckily I live on the third floor so by the time Martin knocked on my door the misshap had been wiped cleaned.
Martin is the opposite of Igor, first he greets my cat properly and then, we will kiss and make out for ages, with our clothes on.
It feels like when you are teenagers and you wont go all the way with your boyfriend because you want to reach your wedding night as a virgin, so you put all your sensuality in your kissing.
Oh what a great kisser ! He really takes his time to kiss my lips, to cup my face, to touch my neck , to caress my legs, his kisses are not foreplay kiss or even sex kiss, his kisses are orgasmic ! His kisses are full of love.
I love it too !
Last night was all about me, he managed to get some wood and wow !
but even then, it wasnt Igor's crazy pounding, it was tender and gentle and soft and warm and romantic.
He kept gazing into my eyes and moaning so sexily.
it was mind blowing !
I love men who voice their pleasure.
Igor screams we he makes love .....Martin moans softly.
It was so magical I wanted to at least give him a nice blow job to show my appreciation but he wouldnt let me make love to him ! He was making love to me and feeling such pleasure from it.
Even when I sneakily managed to get on top of him and plant a few kisses on his tummy, he pulled me back up for a deep kiss and bang I was underneath his body again !
That is the first time in history a man does this with me. What an incredible treat ! Im not saying I'd want this all the time but last night... I felt like a queen, being pampered like that.
At some point he was resting on me, I laid there feeling how nice this was, that long skinny pale body ( yes another giant ) on top of mine, his heart beat thumping hard on my chest, his head nestling on my shoulder, his hands still holding mine.
Yum what a magical moment.
I love those moments when you are both exhausted but happy, empty but energised, looking at each other smiling without talking, thinking at the same time : wow that was beautiful ! feeling grateful for what you just gave and received.
Martin looked at me, kissed me some more and off we went again on a magic carpet of creative body exploring.
After 2 hours of this beauty, he was fighting against the temptation of sleeping in my arms some more and jumped in the shower.
After he said goodnight to my cat, I was kissing him good night too, saying that it had been absolutely fantastic, he stared at me seriously and whispered in that funny eastern German tone " weiss du, mit kussen kan man sich verlieben".......
that means : " you know, one can fall in love kissing "
I giggled that falling in love in more complex than that, its not physical and besides he is perfectly safe with me.
It would never occur to Igor to say such a thing, to even think it.
I looked in the mirror while brushing my teeth and notice my eyes were sparkling like diamond ! my eyes were as shiny as my cats eyes, also something that never happens with Igor.
I cant decide what is best : the passionate crazy raw toe curling sex with Igor who is the perfect shag buddy in every way.
OR
The romantic gentle warm touchy kissy expertise of Martin who turns making love into a fairy tale dream but always says something dumb afterwards.
which one are you and which one do you prefer ?
Check my ebook here
Sunday 14 November 2010
I cant sleep with someone I like
Lately Ive had a comfirmation of something I had suspected for a long time.
I put men that I like into 2 categories :
the shag material and the friend material.
Classic Christian education has women think that the man in our life has got to be all in one : lover, friend, confidant, co bill payer. The same man should be able to party with us, play tennis or cards, host dinners, get on with your friends, share your taste and opinions, decorate the bathroom and buy groceries with us, be there for us, a shoulder to cry on and of course the source of physical pleasure too.
yeah right !
Many women believe that and it leads to so many dillusions and heartaches.
A friend of mine always says that a husband is a really good girlfriend with a dick.
Why oh why then, do men receive opposite teachings ? to a man, most of them anyway, they need one or several women for sex and fun, lovers, mistresses etc... And they want another woman to serve as compagnion to raise chidren, run their household, perhaps help promote their carreer, put their life on hold , the woman who will be their concubine or wife, with whom they will stop having sex and fun after a few years but to whom they will stick to the end.
If they can separate women in 2 categories, so can we.
I have to say this system works brilliantly for me :
The friend material are the men which are smart,opinionated, funny, charming, warm, kind, articulate, have a sense of humour, and share a few centers of interest with me like books, movies, music, religion or football.
Those are men I like to befriend, can talk to for hours about anything. Im proud to introduce them to my friends and my familly.
I value their advice and cherish moments with them, they might even be some flirting involved BUT I never ever have sex with them because I like them or even love them too much to risk losing such precious people.
The shag material are the men who are hot, not always very good looking but sexy to me. They are funny, charming, smiling, dance well and ooze sexyness.
I never aproach any serious topic with them as I dont want to know their favourite colour, food or credo.
Of course I do have to know that they are neither animal/women/children abusers nor racist or sadist because that would definitely turn me off.
To my shag material Im only prepared to discuss neutral subjects or sex topics, I never discuss my past, my life, my job or my familly.
It has happened that one would ask me how my children are and i would freeze asking why they want to know, usually that is enough for them to understand.
I never ask them personal questions, besides the normal lover stuff, and when they ask me perssonal stuff I either elude them or distract them with kisses.
My shag material men are in my life for the sole purpose of sharing pleasure that we give each other, thats all,I dont want to get to know them better , I dont want to have to answer their questions and I dont want to be their friends or their girlfriends. It is quite clear what we are to each other and what we are not.
Everytime that I had a moment of weakness with a shag material it never ended well.
Friend material however are welcome to my real life, any aspects of it, but I cant mess this up with sex. I once made the mistake of sleeping with a friend I liked and our friendship was damaged beyond repair. Lesson learned.
Those 2 categories, friends and lovers, need to be separated in order to survive emotionally and sexually.
It works for me, it might work for you too.
I put men that I like into 2 categories :
the shag material and the friend material.
Classic Christian education has women think that the man in our life has got to be all in one : lover, friend, confidant, co bill payer. The same man should be able to party with us, play tennis or cards, host dinners, get on with your friends, share your taste and opinions, decorate the bathroom and buy groceries with us, be there for us, a shoulder to cry on and of course the source of physical pleasure too.
yeah right !
Many women believe that and it leads to so many dillusions and heartaches.
A friend of mine always says that a husband is a really good girlfriend with a dick.
Why oh why then, do men receive opposite teachings ? to a man, most of them anyway, they need one or several women for sex and fun, lovers, mistresses etc... And they want another woman to serve as compagnion to raise chidren, run their household, perhaps help promote their carreer, put their life on hold , the woman who will be their concubine or wife, with whom they will stop having sex and fun after a few years but to whom they will stick to the end.
If they can separate women in 2 categories, so can we.
I have to say this system works brilliantly for me :
The friend material are the men which are smart,opinionated, funny, charming, warm, kind, articulate, have a sense of humour, and share a few centers of interest with me like books, movies, music, religion or football.
Those are men I like to befriend, can talk to for hours about anything. Im proud to introduce them to my friends and my familly.
I value their advice and cherish moments with them, they might even be some flirting involved BUT I never ever have sex with them because I like them or even love them too much to risk losing such precious people.
The shag material are the men who are hot, not always very good looking but sexy to me. They are funny, charming, smiling, dance well and ooze sexyness.
I never aproach any serious topic with them as I dont want to know their favourite colour, food or credo.
Of course I do have to know that they are neither animal/women/children abusers nor racist or sadist because that would definitely turn me off.
To my shag material Im only prepared to discuss neutral subjects or sex topics, I never discuss my past, my life, my job or my familly.
It has happened that one would ask me how my children are and i would freeze asking why they want to know, usually that is enough for them to understand.
I never ask them personal questions, besides the normal lover stuff, and when they ask me perssonal stuff I either elude them or distract them with kisses.
My shag material men are in my life for the sole purpose of sharing pleasure that we give each other, thats all,I dont want to get to know them better , I dont want to have to answer their questions and I dont want to be their friends or their girlfriends. It is quite clear what we are to each other and what we are not.
Everytime that I had a moment of weakness with a shag material it never ended well.
Friend material however are welcome to my real life, any aspects of it, but I cant mess this up with sex. I once made the mistake of sleeping with a friend I liked and our friendship was damaged beyond repair. Lesson learned.
Those 2 categories, friends and lovers, need to be separated in order to survive emotionally and sexually.
It works for me, it might work for you too.
Monday 8 November 2010
I looove gay men ! yay for gay men !
I just looooove gay men ! they really give a woman a good time without playing mind games or tryng to be dominant.
Not only are they charming, educated, cultivated and articulate, you can really talk to gay men, you can relax with them.
Every woman should have at least one or two gay men as best friends.
Of course there is the small draw back that I cant actually sleep with any of them but I dont even need to because they make me feel so good and make me laugh sooo hard.
On saturday my daughter and I attended the black party in Zurich, this is the major gay social event in Switzerland happening on the first saturday of november.
Since we have a few friends that are gay we love going to this party with our mates.
This saturday nite was absolutely fabulous and I really needed something wonderfull.
there was hundreds of people, straight and gays, men and women,swiss and foreigners, young and old, caucasians, blacks, asians and latinos, all united, all dressed in black, leather, silk, feathers, jeans, latex and many different make ups, wigs and outrageous staff.
there was several dance floors, very loud thumping music, laser shows, pyrotechniques, lots of flammes throwing, it was perfect !
One of the wonderful things about gay parties is that there is no violence going on at all ! Hundreds of happy excited men of all age, race and credo dancing and cheering, drinking too, and not a single fight broke out ? not even raising of voices ? try to achieve that in a straight party !
We danced till 3.30 am , what a great night ! i returned home to my cat the next afternoon feeling great and I actually slept 7 hours non stop ! quite an achievement for sleepless me.
Sunday 24 October 2010
Martin bit me !
I had such a wonderful saturday, i worked, I had a yummy dinner with some mates and I skyped a good friend ! Later I was home relaxing with my cat, skyping with my God-daughter when I got a text from Martin, that east German kid I like. " Noch wach und langweilig ? ( are you still awake and bored ? )"
"U wanna see me schatz ?"
"Do U ? "
"Be here in 30 minutes"
"Ill be there in 20."
So far so good, I thought. I was actually very pleased to see Martin and looked forward to his magic kissing expertise.
Yesterday the magic had taken a night off.
As soon as he arrived he jumped on me, quite unusual for him. He was on fire and we soon were heavily making out on my couch, a bit fast for him but I thought WTF. Soon after that we were frolicking happily on my bed aaaaaaaaaaaand : guess who got wood this time ? Yes !
Did he take some viagra ? did he snort coke before he rang me ? I have no idea, but the result spoke volumes. ( no pun intended , lol )
Of course that was not Igor good or black men good ...but for Martin that was really good.
Is it because he was more sexual that his kisses were less good ? Or is it my imagination ? on the same morning I saw this beautiful video of Seal and his wife Heidie Klum and I guess I wanted to recreate this atmosphere.
Not toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
At some point in between kisses , he moaned some nonsense about being a bad man ( no ? really ? I have never met one before, lol ) and he plunged on my neck to.......bite me hard !
Man did I scream ! I really dont know why movies always show women almost in ecstasy when vampires bite them, that crap actually hurts ! All he could say in his defence was that he was a bad man.
Bitch please ! stop talking, stop biting and just do me already !
( My cat saw Martin bite me and as he kissed her forehead good bye on his way out she kept moving her little head away from his face, hahahahaha what a cool lady my cat is ! hahahahaha.)
So 3 Orgasms later he is practically sleeping.
I had a protective nurturing gesture that perhaps I shouldnt have had, he is after all only a fuckbuddie not a friend, I covered him up with a blanket.
He said he was not going to sleep here (fine by me ) because he wants to sleep in late on Sunday morning, I answered its just as well because I am getting up at 8am anyway,
It went like this :
"Are you working tomorrow then ?"
"No, I never work on Sundays,"
"So why are U getting up so early on a Sunday morning ?"
"Because I want to go to Church"
"Where ?"
"To Church"
"You are actually a believer ? a Church goer and all that ?"
"Yes I am"
"But you cant go to Church tomorrow , you have made love tonight !"
( is that what it was ? )
"And ?"
"And you made love then you shouldnt go anywhere near a Church "
"I made love ! I have not murdered or aggressed anyone did I ? besides I am not married therefore I can do as I please, no one got cheated on or betrayed here tonight !"
"You see ! you are getting angry about it "
Honestly what a plonker !
First he bites my neck and now he questions my Christianity ?
I distracted him with more kissing and he was fun again, till he warned jokingly that I need to be careful cause he could be addictive.
Say what !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bitch please ! I love black men, latinos. eastern europeans, men who get wood on just a smile ( and who dont bite) ! what makes you think someone like me could possibly see more in you that an occasional good cuddle ? pfffff
Cant I be nice to a guy without him putting his nose up in the air ?
A very dear friend told me today that I tend to make my men feel good, not just their bodies but their egos too, must be an extension of my work taking care of people, lol.
I actually had teeth marks on my poor neck and the air head told me that he is not the nice guy I think he is, he is actually a bad one.
Bitch I know bad men, ok.
First they fuck much better than you do , second they dont bite !!!!!!
So he left after a millionth kiss and I was pondering the situation.
Martin acted out of character today, I really hated the biting and the comment about going to Church, and that kid is weird anyway , he helps himself to tap water when I told him there is bottled water in the fridge, I have lots of beautiful cristal glasses in my kitchen and he chose a plastic shaker ! After his shower he didnt pick one of the many fluffy white towels on my bathroom shelves, he took the smallest feet towel he could find !
Is there any normal men around ?
Ok I will give him one more chance to again be the darling he can be, if he pulls another stunt like that I shall ban him from my bed.
In the meantime I might have a couple of quiet days because I can barely sit straight today, lol. I love such reminders of a great F.... dont you ?
Friday 22 October 2010
Younger men like older women
As I was skyping with my best friend today, she said this 50 something woman she knows is dating this hot and younger artist. That doesnt surprise me at all.
When I was young I have been ditched a couple of times for older girls, which is something that didnt compute very well with me since we live in a society where youth and looks are worshiped way above character and intelligence.
We are constantly told that we must be tall, hence high heels to look tall, slim, hence expensive cosmetics and unhealthy diets, if possible blonde, duh !, and above all else : young or at least young looking ! hence plastic surgeries and expensive procedures of all sorts.
How ridiculous is that !
It took me years to understand that sexyness is not in your wonder bra or fake tan, sexyness is in your head. Its in the way you smile, its in the way you handle yourself, its the subtle tone in your voice that lets him know you find him interesting, its the spark in your eyes that lets him guess you think he is desirable.
Sexyness is the confidance that comes from knowing you are a great catch in bed and he should be lucky to share some of your goodies for a while.
Now, there is no way to know this before your late thirties, early forties. This comes with experience, but once you do know this, you can really broaden your horizon and take charge of your sexlife fearlessly.
As you gain insight into men you realise you dont need to prawl around on 12 inches heels, make up and revealing clothes to find a man, you dont even need to work that hard to get laid !
Each and everyone I ever seduced , I did so with descent clothes on, no make up save a bit of lipstick, no nail polish, no special fake efforts to pretend I was someone else. This way you know you are attracting people to you, the real you, not some phoney look alike of what is thought of as sexy.
No more waiting for him to aproach you, no hoping for a call either, no panting for one man in particular when you know you can feel as high with any other hotties that you like.
I really think this is the reason why younger men are attracted to me and any confidant mature woman, because I dont care, Im not tryng to create a bond or build a foundation. Ive been there and done that.
Why else would I be able to score men 15 or even 20 years younger than myself ? I never lie about my age, this way Im sure to attract those who want a mature lover.
And why are girls encouraged to hide their age anyway ? this is so immature.
I saw a beauty cream commercial on telly the other day, this is actually a night cream that I use. The promotion was done by Andy Mc Dowell, I dont know her age but she is beautiful and classy. Well, would you believe a attractive, successful lady like her was insisting that we apply that cream carefully to our neck because it is often our necks that betray our age ????
Betray our age ? WTF? Since when is it illegal to age one more year each year?
This is exactly the kind of nonsense that take the power away from women when they reach 30. I was lucky to be blessed with some logic when I was a girl and I decided that this age-hiding business is really silly.
Therefore. I never hide my age, so if a guy wouldnt want to date me cause he is not into older women, he can miss out on something wonderfull and I dont have to worry about him finding out.
I sometimes ask the men I date why they like me and they pretty much say the same : an older woman is confidant, great in bed, can hold a conversation on many levels,she knows what she wants and what she doesnt AND she doesnt not care at all about commitments because she has done it all already !
In other words : an older woman is not desperate to find the one, she just wants to have tons of fun !
When I was young I have been ditched a couple of times for older girls, which is something that didnt compute very well with me since we live in a society where youth and looks are worshiped way above character and intelligence.
We are constantly told that we must be tall, hence high heels to look tall, slim, hence expensive cosmetics and unhealthy diets, if possible blonde, duh !, and above all else : young or at least young looking ! hence plastic surgeries and expensive procedures of all sorts.
How ridiculous is that !
It took me years to understand that sexyness is not in your wonder bra or fake tan, sexyness is in your head. Its in the way you smile, its in the way you handle yourself, its the subtle tone in your voice that lets him know you find him interesting, its the spark in your eyes that lets him guess you think he is desirable.
Sexyness is the confidance that comes from knowing you are a great catch in bed and he should be lucky to share some of your goodies for a while.
Now, there is no way to know this before your late thirties, early forties. This comes with experience, but once you do know this, you can really broaden your horizon and take charge of your sexlife fearlessly.
As you gain insight into men you realise you dont need to prawl around on 12 inches heels, make up and revealing clothes to find a man, you dont even need to work that hard to get laid !
Each and everyone I ever seduced , I did so with descent clothes on, no make up save a bit of lipstick, no nail polish, no special fake efforts to pretend I was someone else. This way you know you are attracting people to you, the real you, not some phoney look alike of what is thought of as sexy.
No more waiting for him to aproach you, no hoping for a call either, no panting for one man in particular when you know you can feel as high with any other hotties that you like.
I really think this is the reason why younger men are attracted to me and any confidant mature woman, because I dont care, Im not tryng to create a bond or build a foundation. Ive been there and done that.
Why else would I be able to score men 15 or even 20 years younger than myself ? I never lie about my age, this way Im sure to attract those who want a mature lover.
And why are girls encouraged to hide their age anyway ? this is so immature.
I saw a beauty cream commercial on telly the other day, this is actually a night cream that I use. The promotion was done by Andy Mc Dowell, I dont know her age but she is beautiful and classy. Well, would you believe a attractive, successful lady like her was insisting that we apply that cream carefully to our neck because it is often our necks that betray our age ????
Betray our age ? WTF? Since when is it illegal to age one more year each year?
This is exactly the kind of nonsense that take the power away from women when they reach 30. I was lucky to be blessed with some logic when I was a girl and I decided that this age-hiding business is really silly.
Therefore. I never hide my age, so if a guy wouldnt want to date me cause he is not into older women, he can miss out on something wonderfull and I dont have to worry about him finding out.
I sometimes ask the men I date why they like me and they pretty much say the same : an older woman is confidant, great in bed, can hold a conversation on many levels,she knows what she wants and what she doesnt AND she doesnt not care at all about commitments because she has done it all already !
In other words : an older woman is not desperate to find the one, she just wants to have tons of fun !
Tuesday 19 October 2010
Simon, bad looks can hide a treasure !
Simon (name changed) is not at all what you call good looking, he is short, fat, has many scars from surgeries, he fought and won against cancer twice, he is an executive in a national compagnie and is quite old fashioned.
However.....whenever we meet, which is not often, he turns up with expensive beautiful roses, pastries and makes me laugh really hard. He is so educated and has such a sense of humour, that alone makes him attractive. Sexually speaking he really. really, really knows how to pleasure me, so the hell with his looks ! that was great !
However.....whenever we meet, which is not often, he turns up with expensive beautiful roses, pastries and makes me laugh really hard. He is so educated and has such a sense of humour, that alone makes him attractive. Sexually speaking he really. really, really knows how to pleasure me, so the hell with his looks ! that was great !
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