Many years ago I had stayed at a hotel in a Lugano for a couple of weeks. The cute macedonian breakfast waiter was always flirting with me. I slightly flirted back but nothing took place since I was married at the time.
Years later, there he was again, bar tending in another restaurant in a city nearby. I was surprised to see Mehmet ( name changed ) and this time I let things take their course since I was no longer married and therefore free to do anything and anyone as I pleased. After a couple of months Mehmet and I had a huge argument. The suposedly long divorced wife he had in Macedonia was still relevant and even pregnant. And on her way over with their three children. I was disgusted at the deception and immediately decided to break up.
Why do married men always lie about their status ?
How is one to know who is free and who is not ?
Instead of calling him to say I was leaving because of his treachery, I was dumb enough to go up to his appartment to actually tell him in person.
Not a good idea. Not a good idea at all.
You would think he'd feel embarassed and apologetic, well you would think wrong. The adulterer was quite arrogant about liyng to his wife, to me and to a couple of others. Yes, the creep was two timing everyone.
During a very heated discussion I called him a liar and a cheat and expressed how sorry I felt for his poor wife.
His reaction ? You will never guess in a million year.
But you are a cheater too,he smiled, you have always cheated on me from day one, Ive been putting up with you sleeping with another man for years he complained !!!!
Scuse me ? for years ? I was dumbfounded, what years ? Ive only been dating you for a couple of months, how could I do anything to you for years ?
I truly did not understand, I bet you dont either.
Maniac Mehmet had somehow counted the day we met in his old job, years ago, as the first day of our affair !
Are you joking ? I gasped with horror, I was married to Jake back then, I was married and I didnt even know your name. I never even touched you.
Liar ! Mehmet yelled, we had something going on in our hearts and you were flirting with me, and sleeping with Jake at the same time, you are a whore ! you betrayed me with your husband back then !
Speechless. I was speechless. Not an customary state for me to be in.
I began to understand he must have been a very disturbed man and probably had dillusions about the nice customer who innocently smiled at the breakfast table.
Suddenly he grabed my throat and forced me to lay still on his couch. I realised I was in danger when he grabed a bottle of beer, looked at me coldly and quietly said :
shut up bitch, you are not going anywhere anymore.
While he was doing this very threatening act , his phone rang and he started flirting with some girl ! whilst still half choking me !
The nerve of that mad man was astonishing. Accusing me of cheating on him with my own husband at a time when I barely spoke to him, and flirting on the phone in front of me with some unsuspecting other woman.
I was furious with myself , how could I have been so stupid to get into such a dangerous situation ? Mehmet was obviously mentally ill and even if he killed me tonight, his lawyer would get him of the hook because of whatever mental condition caused his vicious actions. What would my familly think if I got murdered in a grotty appartment from a crazed married macedonian ?
Could it be more embarrassing ?
Suddenly I had a stroke of genius, or of sheer desperation. I whispered to my potential killer :
Baby, pour me a drink and give me a fuck.
Mehmet was so not expecting me to say something like this he released my throat straight away while shaking his head in disbelief, since when do you drink ?
The couple of seconds the psycho was flabergasted were enough for me to jump off his couch, grab my purse and litterally fly down the stairs.
I was almost on the ground floor when he screamed from the window :
Cherie ? Where are you going ?
To get you some cigarettes from the corner shop, I yelled back.
Was he kidding me ? If he really was crasy , I would play the game too.
I can truly say I have never run that fast in my entire life. He rang repeatedly till I switched my phone off. I ran nearly an hour to get back home. So scared was I ,that I wouldnt even stop running long enough to hail a cab or board a bus.
I got home noiselessly and locked myself in the bathroom to vomit my guts out. What had happened ? I could have been dead because of my own stupidity.
How did I not notice he was insane ? How did I get so lucky tonight ? Did I even deserve this incredible blessing of getting away intact ?
I cried and I puked for a while, then I silently went to my bedroom, grabbed the photos of Mehmet and I from my diary and tore them to tiny pieces before flushing them down the toilets. What he tried to do to me was absolutely unforgivable. I chose not to report it to the police since I had no injuries and therefore the police would not have a case against him. But I never forgave the loony.
Mehmet , stalked me for months, I made sure he always saw me in compagny of men. He had called me a whore, I supposed that was what a free woman was in his eyes, I decided to take that as a compliment. Better be called a whore by a psycho, that be his submissive victim. I had long forgotten about him when, years later, I was having a meal alone in a sushi bar, after an argument with my second husband. He spotted me and came to sit at my table. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I recognised him. He looked different. Mehmet started to apologise about attacking me that night, many years ago.
Post traumatic stress due to the war with the serbians and alcoholism had driven him insane and unaccountable. Thats was his excuse for his agressive behaviour, but he didnt drink anymore, he was with alcoholic anonymous and had a stable job. At the time I felt vulnerable from the fight with my husband so I accepted Mehmet's apologies and I left with a hand shake. During the next month I bumped into him a few times. At the money automat in the bank, in front of a shop window I was admiring, at the tea room where I was waiting for Leila. Each time he said hello and asked me out, each time I answered no thank you. When Leila saw him leave the tea room she noticed he had been working out and looked really hot.
He may look hot but he is a very deranged psycho so it is not worth it.
Why did you forgive him then ? Leila wanted to know.
Just cause I forgive it doesnt mean I want to put myself in that trap again. I explained.
One day I was queuing up at the movies when a couple of guys gently tapped me on the shoulder.
Hello ! how are you ? they said quite friendly,
Is Mehmet here ? This doesnt look like his kind of movie.
His two younger brothers ? How did they remember me ? It had been years.
And why would they wonder if he was at this movie with me ?
I greeted them back and asked what they had been up to. It turned out they had immigrated to Sweden and were here for a visit. Somehow they thought I was still dating their big brother. Why would they think that ? What was going on here ? When I asked how they recognised me after years, they talked about the framed picture of their brother and I in his living room. What ! Not to mention the small photo of us he carried in his wallet to this day ! re what !
In his sick mind Mehmet still thought we were an item. Worse even he had lied to his brothers for years about it. Obessive much ?
This was even worse than I had feared. I rang the lunatic to confront him with this ridiculous obsession of his, this time I was smart enough to do it on the phone.
He pleaded with me not to tell his brothers the truth, besides " it was not really a lie since he knew I still harboured strong feelings for him and we belonged together, he was only anticipating things."
Im not repeating the exact words I hurled at him, suffice it to say it involved a lot of F's. The sick obessesive S.O.B. was truly dangerous and I had narrowly escaped it. Again.
I never spoke another word to the psycho even though he phone stalked me for years. Im guessing he finally got it by now.
Frightening how quickly a man can turn into a monster when you want to leave. Think twice before you trust a guy and please please please, if you are leaving a guy, do it in a public place with a quick access to your car or taxi rank.
Ladies of all age. Take the power back from men ! Follow my wonderful funny adventurous sex dates and learn............ Do not judge too harshly, I gave up on love after 2 heartbreaks and decided to live like a man. This might not work for everyone.... sure works for me! Im not saying we must all act like me, Im saying : it can be done and it is quite enpowering ! Because: Im the boss of my sexlife.
This title and texts are protected by law
This title and those texts are protected by law.
I am the boss of my sexlife, the Book has arrived !
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Monday 28 February 2011
Sunday 27 February 2011
The power of words
There is a saying in English," sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Ever heard of it ?
I always knew it was not accurate as words do hurt you according to which words are said, in which tone of voice and by whom.
Words have immense power.
Words can hurt you, delight you, confort you, they can make you cry or want to throw up. Most importantly, words can turn you on like crasy and even make you forget principles and caution.
Whenever an old lover tries to get back into my pants after a bad break up, he always uses strong words that will provoke a reaction.
I dont suppose you will remember me. I made such a big mistake. Can you forgive me ? Lets give ourselves a second chance. Did you put a stone on it ? I havent given up on us, have you ?
Words designed to make me feel guilty, as if I were guilty of something. When a man breaks a connection off, he mostly slams the door on his way out. When he wants this connection back, he uses big words that are meant to make you feel it is your fault if he left in the first place, therefore the very least you can do is spread your legs for him as soon as he calls.
Why cant they be honest and just say : Im not into you anymore but tonight I cant help desiring you because you are after all a really great fuck. Tomorrow however I will want you out of my life untill I decide otherwise.
Of course it would sound a little arrogant but it would be honest and appeal for an honest response without any guilt or pressure.
Carlos, a portuguese alcoholic who had put me trough hell during our liaison, texted me out of the blue, in the midle of the night, Do you hate me yet ?
those words had triggered such a guilty reaction ( guilty of what ?) that I immediately texted him back No I dont actually hate you but.... and it led to another round of trouble I could have done without. Another classic is when the guy makes puppy eyes at you saying :
I dont deserve you, I know Im not good enough for you.
Which of course has any girl kissing the guy to prove him that he is. We all know how this ends, dont we. He leaves later on with his balls emptied and her feelings crushed, again. And again a few months later. And again later.
Just like most of you, I used to fall for this cheap trick too.
As I decided to become the boss of my sex life, this dirty trick no longer had any chances of working on me ever again.
A few evenings ago, I actually was the recipient of the " trick " again but Im pleased to say it failed parlously. Volker, the east german kid who broke up with me three months ago, really wanted another fabulous roll in the haye with me that night. Since I was not answering his many texts favourably, he went for the kill with some pretty strong words.
He texted me : DVD ?
This word alone triggered some sexy memories, our first date starting to watch a dvd and developed into beautiful romantic gentle shaging. Yes I did remember our first night together BUT I also remember our last night too. Had Volker left a door opened, saying that he would like a break before seeing me again, I would have welcomed him with opened arms. His decision to break up was final. Fine, let it be final and dont come back.
As I ignored him, he tried another trick and texted :
Wanna watch a dvd with me tonight ?
Just in case I had not gotten the message the first time. Did he think I was stupid or did he push in the hope that I would say : Come back, all is forgiven.
Dont you just hate it when men do that ?
As I texted back NEIN. He answered : Shade, shade, shade. (What a great pity.) Now he wanted to make me feel guilty !
A few years ago I would fallen for it after the first text. Now, with my maturity and wisdom in all things men... I identified the con in progress and made a delibarate choice not to fuel the issue by not texting back all the reasons why I wanted nothing to do with Volker anymore. Had I written that I didnt trust him anymore because this and because of that, he would have come up with some lies to justify his "mistake" and the dialogue would have gone on till I would have surrendered. After that, Volker would have had a moment of clarity, declaring this to be another mistake and I would have been humiliated. Instead, Volker was fuming and frustrated while I rejoiced in the fact that his words had no power over me.
Some men will abuse the power of words to make you vulnerable, all you have to do is analyse the situation coldly and refuse to let their empty words get into your head. Think you can do that ?
I always knew it was not accurate as words do hurt you according to which words are said, in which tone of voice and by whom.
Words have immense power.
Words can hurt you, delight you, confort you, they can make you cry or want to throw up. Most importantly, words can turn you on like crasy and even make you forget principles and caution.
Whenever an old lover tries to get back into my pants after a bad break up, he always uses strong words that will provoke a reaction.
I dont suppose you will remember me. I made such a big mistake. Can you forgive me ? Lets give ourselves a second chance. Did you put a stone on it ? I havent given up on us, have you ?
Words designed to make me feel guilty, as if I were guilty of something. When a man breaks a connection off, he mostly slams the door on his way out. When he wants this connection back, he uses big words that are meant to make you feel it is your fault if he left in the first place, therefore the very least you can do is spread your legs for him as soon as he calls.
Why cant they be honest and just say : Im not into you anymore but tonight I cant help desiring you because you are after all a really great fuck. Tomorrow however I will want you out of my life untill I decide otherwise.
Of course it would sound a little arrogant but it would be honest and appeal for an honest response without any guilt or pressure.
Carlos, a portuguese alcoholic who had put me trough hell during our liaison, texted me out of the blue, in the midle of the night, Do you hate me yet ?
those words had triggered such a guilty reaction ( guilty of what ?) that I immediately texted him back No I dont actually hate you but.... and it led to another round of trouble I could have done without. Another classic is when the guy makes puppy eyes at you saying :
I dont deserve you, I know Im not good enough for you.
Which of course has any girl kissing the guy to prove him that he is. We all know how this ends, dont we. He leaves later on with his balls emptied and her feelings crushed, again. And again a few months later. And again later.
Just like most of you, I used to fall for this cheap trick too.
As I decided to become the boss of my sex life, this dirty trick no longer had any chances of working on me ever again.
A few evenings ago, I actually was the recipient of the " trick " again but Im pleased to say it failed parlously. Volker, the east german kid who broke up with me three months ago, really wanted another fabulous roll in the haye with me that night. Since I was not answering his many texts favourably, he went for the kill with some pretty strong words.
He texted me : DVD ?
This word alone triggered some sexy memories, our first date starting to watch a dvd and developed into beautiful romantic gentle shaging. Yes I did remember our first night together BUT I also remember our last night too. Had Volker left a door opened, saying that he would like a break before seeing me again, I would have welcomed him with opened arms. His decision to break up was final. Fine, let it be final and dont come back.
As I ignored him, he tried another trick and texted :
Wanna watch a dvd with me tonight ?
Just in case I had not gotten the message the first time. Did he think I was stupid or did he push in the hope that I would say : Come back, all is forgiven.
Dont you just hate it when men do that ?
As I texted back NEIN. He answered : Shade, shade, shade. (What a great pity.) Now he wanted to make me feel guilty !
A few years ago I would fallen for it after the first text. Now, with my maturity and wisdom in all things men... I identified the con in progress and made a delibarate choice not to fuel the issue by not texting back all the reasons why I wanted nothing to do with Volker anymore. Had I written that I didnt trust him anymore because this and because of that, he would have come up with some lies to justify his "mistake" and the dialogue would have gone on till I would have surrendered. After that, Volker would have had a moment of clarity, declaring this to be another mistake and I would have been humiliated. Instead, Volker was fuming and frustrated while I rejoiced in the fact that his words had no power over me.
Some men will abuse the power of words to make you vulnerable, all you have to do is analyse the situation coldly and refuse to let their empty words get into your head. Think you can do that ?
Saturday 19 February 2011
My Valentine !
Last monday was Valentine day, Since I dont have an actual relationship I couldnt expect a rose or a card but I did send my friends, my real friends, a Valentine greeting and got lovely Valentine replies from them. I had lunch with my son, my daughter emailed me a virtual rose, that was enough for me.
As I settled with my purring cat and a romantic movie, my phone started klinging with texts from past and current sex friends,
Happy Valentine , how are you ? Are you busy ? You remember me ? Do you wanna go out for a drink ? Id love to see you tonight, Come on, call me back, I know you are at home, Im so horny for you, Do you fancy a Valentine shag ?
It went on and on till I switched my phone off at 11pm. I dodged calls from Mark, who is in town for 3 months and wishes to rekindle our sex connection which he severed himself a few month ago with some relationship nonsense. I dodged calls from Djamel my official stalker, I dodged calls from Martin who ditched me 3 months ago with some soul mate nonsense, I dodged calls from everyone.
They all called except the one I was hoping would call.
I had not made any plans for that night, I was feeling relaxed, at home watching one of my favourite romantic comedies with a plate of sushi and a cup of lemon tea. My cat was lovingly sitting on my knees, making me feel safe and warm. All this made me feel so whole, so good, that I decided I didnt need anything else, my cat would be my Valentine this year.
I snored happilly as the girl got the guy on the screen, and went back to sleep with my cat in my arms who seriously challenged my gold medal in snoring.
Next morning it was business as usual, I told Mark that I really was sorry but I had not changed my views on relationships since last time so there was no need for us to meet again. I superbly ignored Martin and I emailed Igor back to accept a date on the next evening.
I texted little hearts to everybody else and I went off to work like a good girl should. Guess who was waiting on the parking lot ? staring at the entrance ? Guess again.
Martin !
The easter german kid who broke up with me for the most ridiculous reason in the history of ridiculous reasons.
What was he doing here ? Was he looking for me ? Why would he be looking for me ? He was so focused on watching the entrance that he didnt notice me walking right past him with a bunch of people.
He left thinking I wasnt coming to work this morning, I went on about my business then thought this was a little weird, I walked right past Martin and I didnt feel the slightest twitch in my tummy. Good sign, but still I was curious.
I texted Martin to tell him I was so small he hadnt seen me within two feet of him. He texted right back to ask me out !
Can you believe it ? We had a nice fuckbuddiship going on for ten weeks till he broke up with me on the silly ground that our love making was way too good for casual sex, he decided he wanted that kind of sex with a soul mate.
Three months later Martin has an itch he cant scratch and returns to seek the best lovelesssex he ever had in his soulmateless life ?
I dont think so !
I first thought of toying with him by telling him I had a hot date that night, which I had. During my wild wild three hours of red hot sex with my favourite caveman Igor, I saw my Iphone light up with texts from Martin a couple of times and I loved the fact that he was stuck with a hard on , panting for me while I was rocking and rolling with Igor all over my bed, the bedroom floor, my coffee table in the living room and against the fridge in the kitchen... I hadnt seen Igor in three weeks and his dick was starting to have withdrawals symptoms. At some point, Igor fell asleep for a few minutes. I just couldnt resist hiding in the bathroom to read Martin's 5 texts.
Am I ok, when can he see a movie with me, come on, he wants to see me, why am I not responding, he really wants to see a movie with me tonight.
I was so tempted to text back :
"Sorry dude I cant talk right now because I have a big black man in my mouth."
Then I elected to simply text back NEIN. and I went back to bed slowly kissing Igor's face to wake him up.
Later as I was toweling myself dry, Igor asked me who " german bitch " was.
Scuse me ? german bitch ? I blushed
( Thats how I recorded Martin on my Iphone )
You got 2 texts from a " german bitch " while you were in the shower.
I giggled and we talked about something else.
When Igor left , I rushed to my phone to read that Martin had texted
" Shade, shade, shade ", a german way to say : what a great pity.
Again ,I chose to ignore him.
Why did I not torment him with the visualisation of me in other man 's arms ?
Why could I not be mean ?
There is not much fun in hurting asshole's feelings, I guess.
All in all, I had a marvellous Valentine week, quality time with my children, cuddles with my cat, lots of chocolate, two wonderfull dates, one involving great conversations and tons of uplifting fun, the other was an Igor date, yummie. Man I love being single at Valentine.
As I settled with my purring cat and a romantic movie, my phone started klinging with texts from past and current sex friends,
Happy Valentine , how are you ? Are you busy ? You remember me ? Do you wanna go out for a drink ? Id love to see you tonight, Come on, call me back, I know you are at home, Im so horny for you, Do you fancy a Valentine shag ?
It went on and on till I switched my phone off at 11pm. I dodged calls from Mark, who is in town for 3 months and wishes to rekindle our sex connection which he severed himself a few month ago with some relationship nonsense. I dodged calls from Djamel my official stalker, I dodged calls from Martin who ditched me 3 months ago with some soul mate nonsense, I dodged calls from everyone.
They all called except the one I was hoping would call.
I had not made any plans for that night, I was feeling relaxed, at home watching one of my favourite romantic comedies with a plate of sushi and a cup of lemon tea. My cat was lovingly sitting on my knees, making me feel safe and warm. All this made me feel so whole, so good, that I decided I didnt need anything else, my cat would be my Valentine this year.
I snored happilly as the girl got the guy on the screen, and went back to sleep with my cat in my arms who seriously challenged my gold medal in snoring.
Next morning it was business as usual, I told Mark that I really was sorry but I had not changed my views on relationships since last time so there was no need for us to meet again. I superbly ignored Martin and I emailed Igor back to accept a date on the next evening.
I texted little hearts to everybody else and I went off to work like a good girl should. Guess who was waiting on the parking lot ? staring at the entrance ? Guess again.
Martin !
The easter german kid who broke up with me for the most ridiculous reason in the history of ridiculous reasons.
What was he doing here ? Was he looking for me ? Why would he be looking for me ? He was so focused on watching the entrance that he didnt notice me walking right past him with a bunch of people.
He left thinking I wasnt coming to work this morning, I went on about my business then thought this was a little weird, I walked right past Martin and I didnt feel the slightest twitch in my tummy. Good sign, but still I was curious.
I texted Martin to tell him I was so small he hadnt seen me within two feet of him. He texted right back to ask me out !
Can you believe it ? We had a nice fuckbuddiship going on for ten weeks till he broke up with me on the silly ground that our love making was way too good for casual sex, he decided he wanted that kind of sex with a soul mate.
Three months later Martin has an itch he cant scratch and returns to seek the best lovelesssex he ever had in his soulmateless life ?
I dont think so !
I first thought of toying with him by telling him I had a hot date that night, which I had. During my wild wild three hours of red hot sex with my favourite caveman Igor, I saw my Iphone light up with texts from Martin a couple of times and I loved the fact that he was stuck with a hard on , panting for me while I was rocking and rolling with Igor all over my bed, the bedroom floor, my coffee table in the living room and against the fridge in the kitchen... I hadnt seen Igor in three weeks and his dick was starting to have withdrawals symptoms. At some point, Igor fell asleep for a few minutes. I just couldnt resist hiding in the bathroom to read Martin's 5 texts.
Am I ok, when can he see a movie with me, come on, he wants to see me, why am I not responding, he really wants to see a movie with me tonight.
I was so tempted to text back :
"Sorry dude I cant talk right now because I have a big black man in my mouth."
Then I elected to simply text back NEIN. and I went back to bed slowly kissing Igor's face to wake him up.
Later as I was toweling myself dry, Igor asked me who " german bitch " was.
Scuse me ? german bitch ? I blushed
( Thats how I recorded Martin on my Iphone )
You got 2 texts from a " german bitch " while you were in the shower.
I giggled and we talked about something else.
When Igor left , I rushed to my phone to read that Martin had texted
" Shade, shade, shade ", a german way to say : what a great pity.
Again ,I chose to ignore him.
Why did I not torment him with the visualisation of me in other man 's arms ?
Why could I not be mean ?
There is not much fun in hurting asshole's feelings, I guess.
All in all, I had a marvellous Valentine week, quality time with my children, cuddles with my cat, lots of chocolate, two wonderfull dates, one involving great conversations and tons of uplifting fun, the other was an Igor date, yummie. Man I love being single at Valentine.
Sunday 6 February 2011
men can be so bitchy
A few years ago I met a charismatic and sexy bad boy in Paris.
We had a bit of a love hate relationship for many months. Chris had conveniently forgotten to tell me about a fiancée that he was engaged to and I hadnt told him everything about me either.
Sexually we were scaringly compatible, we were into each other to the point of insanity. We would fight and declare that toxic affair terminated.
A few hours later he would get drank and call me for hour long conversations explaining why we were so wrong for each other.
His familly had money and I was working class, his familly were xenophobist and I was of foreign origin, he wanted a carreer in law or in the police forces and he needed a wife like his fiancée, not someone like me.
Then...
In the middle of the night he would just turn up on my door step, without a word I would let him in... and as soon as Chris would kiss me, the madness would take us over again.
I tried avoiding him, dodging his calls, I even stood him up a couple of times but all he had to do was turn up and I would forget everything else, just focusing on his hungry mouth that loved savouring mine, his large hands who were expert on touching my body, discovering erogenous zones I didnt know I had.
I knew we should stop but we just couldnt get enough of each other.
One evening after a new fight, i went out to a pizzeria by myself.
Lars came over to chat me up, I like to eat in peace but this time I was so upset with the constant arguing with Chris that I welcomed the distraction.
Lars was charming, sexy, classy and seemed open to a one night stand with no questions asked.
I took him back to my place for some hot sex in a bid to stop having discussions in my head with my lover.
Lars was crasy, borderline violent, he threw me on the couch and litterally tore my clothes off during a specially wild shag. At some point he scratched my back so hard he drew blood !
Was the dude crasy ?
When I screamed he shut me up with a hard kiss.
I was starting to wonder about my safety when we were done and he said he had a confession to make.
There I was, sweaty, panting, torn jean dress around me, I still had my ankle boots on and wondered where my panties might be. It had been really wild, a lot of fun but I wasnt gonna repeat the experience, it had taken my mind of Chris for a while but now he was coming back to my mind.
How do I get rid of that guy ? Get out of my head please !
Lars started getting dressed
L- That was spectacular ! can I have your number ? I'd like to see you again.
C-I dont think so, that was fun but I have a boyfriend.
L-I bet he doesnt fuck you like that though.
C-Thats really none of your business, now im disliking that guy.
L- You will never have Christofer,you know, his life is already all laid out for him, there is no room for someone like you.
My blood froze.
He knew ? How did he know ? Had I been ambushed ?
How could I have been so stupid ? I should have suspected something.
Lars tried to kiss me as I turned my face away from his.
Did the creep think I would kiss him after he just admitted he had royally screwed me ?
L-Chris and I went to school together, we always shared our toys, you come along and make him question his life ? Not on my watch honey.
He is all wrong for you. And you are definitely bad for his future, he paused and grinned, but you are just bad enough for me, shall we say tomorrow at 8pm ?
C- You must really be jaelous of him to want a taste of his lover.
L- Im not jaelous , im just protecting him.
By now he was fully dressed and on his way out, he turned around...
L- Good luck showering with him when he sees the scratches on your back, he knows that's my signature.
I was furious ! Why did I have to sleep around tonight ? How long had that bitch Lars known about me ? What was I gonna tell Chris ?
What had I done ? What had I done !
I decided to sleep on it and just dodged his calls till the morning.
Next day my lover picked me up from work, we walked back to my place, I was silent, he was as confused as ever as to what we should do.
When we went to bed I kept my dress on, at first he thought I was beeing kinky.
Suddenly it got too much for me and I uttered :
C- Lars sends his regards, im sorry, as I showed him my back full of deep scratches.
Chris jumped 3 feet, absolutely horrified.
C- What ? But how could this happen ? How could you ? How did he ?
I felt really embarrassed, in fact I was wrong, Lars should be embarrassed not me, he had coldly set me up, he had questioned his friend to know how to find me. It was Lars who was despicable, not me !
When I realise that, I started to tell Chris that he shouldnt blame that mess on me but on his friend dearest who obviously had some kind of power issues going on.
That was too much for my lover who felt both angry and betrayed by Lars and by me.
Somehow that was also turning him on.
Chris shoved me against the wall and made passionate love to me standing up. ( I was nearly 10 kilos lighter then ).
At some point he stopped to look at me while grabing my hair and shouted :
C- Salope ! je t ais dans la peau ! ( Bitch I got you under my skin)
At the time that had been very very sexy to hear and we came together quite hard.
I never saw Chris again after that, I left Paris and changed my number.
I suposed I could have tried to rescue this relationship but I had had enough of this sick games, being stuck between 2 friends who play power games that brutal had been fun for 2 days but it was not who I wanted to be.
Lars did call before I left but I just put the phone down , refusing to fuel that toxic thing he would have liked to install.
A few years later I saw Chris on television , looking very martial and official, I thought it had been interesting being his girl but Im so relieved I run from becoming his toy.
Ladies if you are ever involved in a power game between 2 friends, there is only one thing to do : RUN.
It never ends well and if you stick around you will only lose your dignity.
RUN !
We had a bit of a love hate relationship for many months. Chris had conveniently forgotten to tell me about a fiancée that he was engaged to and I hadnt told him everything about me either.
Sexually we were scaringly compatible, we were into each other to the point of insanity. We would fight and declare that toxic affair terminated.
A few hours later he would get drank and call me for hour long conversations explaining why we were so wrong for each other.
His familly had money and I was working class, his familly were xenophobist and I was of foreign origin, he wanted a carreer in law or in the police forces and he needed a wife like his fiancée, not someone like me.
Then...
In the middle of the night he would just turn up on my door step, without a word I would let him in... and as soon as Chris would kiss me, the madness would take us over again.
I tried avoiding him, dodging his calls, I even stood him up a couple of times but all he had to do was turn up and I would forget everything else, just focusing on his hungry mouth that loved savouring mine, his large hands who were expert on touching my body, discovering erogenous zones I didnt know I had.
I knew we should stop but we just couldnt get enough of each other.
One evening after a new fight, i went out to a pizzeria by myself.
Lars came over to chat me up, I like to eat in peace but this time I was so upset with the constant arguing with Chris that I welcomed the distraction.
Lars was charming, sexy, classy and seemed open to a one night stand with no questions asked.
I took him back to my place for some hot sex in a bid to stop having discussions in my head with my lover.
Lars was crasy, borderline violent, he threw me on the couch and litterally tore my clothes off during a specially wild shag. At some point he scratched my back so hard he drew blood !
Was the dude crasy ?
When I screamed he shut me up with a hard kiss.
I was starting to wonder about my safety when we were done and he said he had a confession to make.
There I was, sweaty, panting, torn jean dress around me, I still had my ankle boots on and wondered where my panties might be. It had been really wild, a lot of fun but I wasnt gonna repeat the experience, it had taken my mind of Chris for a while but now he was coming back to my mind.
How do I get rid of that guy ? Get out of my head please !
Lars started getting dressed
L- That was spectacular ! can I have your number ? I'd like to see you again.
C-I dont think so, that was fun but I have a boyfriend.
L-I bet he doesnt fuck you like that though.
C-Thats really none of your business, now im disliking that guy.
L- You will never have Christofer,you know, his life is already all laid out for him, there is no room for someone like you.
My blood froze.
He knew ? How did he know ? Had I been ambushed ?
How could I have been so stupid ? I should have suspected something.
Lars tried to kiss me as I turned my face away from his.
Did the creep think I would kiss him after he just admitted he had royally screwed me ?
L-Chris and I went to school together, we always shared our toys, you come along and make him question his life ? Not on my watch honey.
He is all wrong for you. And you are definitely bad for his future, he paused and grinned, but you are just bad enough for me, shall we say tomorrow at 8pm ?
C- You must really be jaelous of him to want a taste of his lover.
L- Im not jaelous , im just protecting him.
By now he was fully dressed and on his way out, he turned around...
L- Good luck showering with him when he sees the scratches on your back, he knows that's my signature.
I was furious ! Why did I have to sleep around tonight ? How long had that bitch Lars known about me ? What was I gonna tell Chris ?
What had I done ? What had I done !
I decided to sleep on it and just dodged his calls till the morning.
Next day my lover picked me up from work, we walked back to my place, I was silent, he was as confused as ever as to what we should do.
When we went to bed I kept my dress on, at first he thought I was beeing kinky.
Suddenly it got too much for me and I uttered :
C- Lars sends his regards, im sorry, as I showed him my back full of deep scratches.
Chris jumped 3 feet, absolutely horrified.
C- What ? But how could this happen ? How could you ? How did he ?
I felt really embarrassed, in fact I was wrong, Lars should be embarrassed not me, he had coldly set me up, he had questioned his friend to know how to find me. It was Lars who was despicable, not me !
When I realise that, I started to tell Chris that he shouldnt blame that mess on me but on his friend dearest who obviously had some kind of power issues going on.
That was too much for my lover who felt both angry and betrayed by Lars and by me.
Somehow that was also turning him on.
Chris shoved me against the wall and made passionate love to me standing up. ( I was nearly 10 kilos lighter then ).
At some point he stopped to look at me while grabing my hair and shouted :
C- Salope ! je t ais dans la peau ! ( Bitch I got you under my skin)
At the time that had been very very sexy to hear and we came together quite hard.
I never saw Chris again after that, I left Paris and changed my number.
I suposed I could have tried to rescue this relationship but I had had enough of this sick games, being stuck between 2 friends who play power games that brutal had been fun for 2 days but it was not who I wanted to be.
Lars did call before I left but I just put the phone down , refusing to fuel that toxic thing he would have liked to install.
A few years later I saw Chris on television , looking very martial and official, I thought it had been interesting being his girl but Im so relieved I run from becoming his toy.
Ladies if you are ever involved in a power game between 2 friends, there is only one thing to do : RUN.
It never ends well and if you stick around you will only lose your dignity.
RUN !
black magic
It had been so long since I had held a black man in my arms that I jumped on the opportunity when this really cute and so hot Senegalese made a pass at me in a book store in the massage books section.
Brahim had just returned from a trip to India to learn tantric massage and meditation. I imagined he had something very seductive in mind for me and man ... did he !
There must have been 2 douzains candles of all colours and sizes burning all over his living room as well as some kind of African chanting on the stereo.
He asked me to lay down on those exotic looking towels with my clothes off, I started striping slowly to the chanting while maintening eye contact,
Have you notice how men look when they are about to get laid ?
Their eyes are shining, they can barely talk or if they do they mumble, their breathing is shallow, they are totally relaxed and yet extremely nervous.
Who knows what goes on inside a man's head just before he makes love ?
Anxiety ? fear ? overwhelming ? happyness ? overjoy that he's gonna get laid ? do they feel victorious that they have conquered their female ? What ?
Brahim had this hot " Im gonna have a great fuck " look on his face. Still wearing my black lace bra and panties , I laid on the toweled floor.
He dipped his fingers in some massage oil and treated me to a really sensous massage while my lingerie put on a disapearing act.
I loved it when he riped my g string off my body with his teeth, could he be sexier ?
His phone kept ringing, jaelous girlfriend ? unsecure future girlfriend ?
C- Honey ? you gonna pick the phone up so that it stops ringing or what ?
B- What phone ? Im not hearing any phone ringing, right now im in another world, " tu m as marabouté " ( you put a spell on me )
Nice...but this sounds like a guy who has something to hide...dont they always ?
After a while I didnt hear the music anymore, I was in a whirl of pleasure, Brahim's voice was moaning softly in my ears, his fingers were drawing hearts on my neck, his long black naked body was wrapped around me... I felt as if I were levitating under Brahim's caresses, it was magical.
My hands kept exploring his muscular limbs, I loved the contrast of my lilie white hands on his dark chocolate silky skin. hmmmm, so did he !
Later on, we were laying on the floor , entangled in each other, as soon as my brain got back into place I purred to Brahim that this had been absolutely beautiful, he smiled and said : I know.
When I pointed out this was hardly modest he gave me his big happy African grin and explained that when sex is good it will be good anywhere, in the kitchen, on the toilet or even in the garden.
Well I know from experience that when the lover is great the sex will be too, no matter where.
Although im not sure about the" on the toilet " bit.
Brahim then made a few gestures above all my 7 shakras to restore some balance after the energy tempest they had just been trough.
C- If I didnt know about chinese energetic and shakras, what you just did would freak me out a little.
B- But you do know about it, you were checking books about it, just as I was.
Brahim never asked any questions and gave me a little kiss good night as I left.
Magic and Madness followed by non invasion of my privacy ? Hmm I like that.
I came back from my black magic evening a little dizzy and with a " I just had a great fuck " look on my face ".
Brahim had just returned from a trip to India to learn tantric massage and meditation. I imagined he had something very seductive in mind for me and man ... did he !
There must have been 2 douzains candles of all colours and sizes burning all over his living room as well as some kind of African chanting on the stereo.
He asked me to lay down on those exotic looking towels with my clothes off, I started striping slowly to the chanting while maintening eye contact,
Have you notice how men look when they are about to get laid ?
Their eyes are shining, they can barely talk or if they do they mumble, their breathing is shallow, they are totally relaxed and yet extremely nervous.
Who knows what goes on inside a man's head just before he makes love ?
Anxiety ? fear ? overwhelming ? happyness ? overjoy that he's gonna get laid ? do they feel victorious that they have conquered their female ? What ?
Brahim had this hot " Im gonna have a great fuck " look on his face. Still wearing my black lace bra and panties , I laid on the toweled floor.
He dipped his fingers in some massage oil and treated me to a really sensous massage while my lingerie put on a disapearing act.
I loved it when he riped my g string off my body with his teeth, could he be sexier ?
His phone kept ringing, jaelous girlfriend ? unsecure future girlfriend ?
C- Honey ? you gonna pick the phone up so that it stops ringing or what ?
B- What phone ? Im not hearing any phone ringing, right now im in another world, " tu m as marabouté " ( you put a spell on me )
Nice...but this sounds like a guy who has something to hide...dont they always ?
After a while I didnt hear the music anymore, I was in a whirl of pleasure, Brahim's voice was moaning softly in my ears, his fingers were drawing hearts on my neck, his long black naked body was wrapped around me... I felt as if I were levitating under Brahim's caresses, it was magical.
My hands kept exploring his muscular limbs, I loved the contrast of my lilie white hands on his dark chocolate silky skin. hmmmm, so did he !
Later on, we were laying on the floor , entangled in each other, as soon as my brain got back into place I purred to Brahim that this had been absolutely beautiful, he smiled and said : I know.
When I pointed out this was hardly modest he gave me his big happy African grin and explained that when sex is good it will be good anywhere, in the kitchen, on the toilet or even in the garden.
Well I know from experience that when the lover is great the sex will be too, no matter where.
Although im not sure about the" on the toilet " bit.
Brahim then made a few gestures above all my 7 shakras to restore some balance after the energy tempest they had just been trough.
C- If I didnt know about chinese energetic and shakras, what you just did would freak me out a little.
B- But you do know about it, you were checking books about it, just as I was.
Brahim never asked any questions and gave me a little kiss good night as I left.
Magic and Madness followed by non invasion of my privacy ? Hmm I like that.
I came back from my black magic evening a little dizzy and with a " I just had a great fuck " look on my face ".
Thursday 3 February 2011
Men screwing us into submission ?
Do they really do this ?
Do they try to screw us into submission ?
Domination need not be obvious with physical violence and abuse, it can take a more subtle form, how ?
Simply by giving us lots of sex till we cant think for ourselves. Many men do try to screw us into submission.
If they do , that is pretty despicable. Now that I think of it , Ive had lovers who would give me tons of sex just before they had to leave for a couple of days, only that I would not have the energy to have sex with another man.
Thats not love, thats not even desire, that is domination. A man who keeps shagging you for hours without really wanting it, with the sole scope of making sure their " territory " will not let another penis in.
A man who does this is an unsecure caveman.
Some men will bed us only to change our minds or to submit us to do their will.
Some men will do it just to stop us from going somewhere, taking a new job or even going out with our friends. How about those who start petting you heavily as soon as you talk to your boss or to your friends on the phone ?
Fortunately, this doesnt work on me, but only because I am aware some men are using their sexuality to dominate us, but thats me, how about you ?
Ladies, stop giving in just because your lover gives it so good. The truth is , if he has an agenda and uses great sex to make you do whatever he wants you to,
he is beeing manipulative and self serving, where is the fun of that ?.
If you show him you love sex with him but you will not allow it to rule your life, then he will either move on to the next victim, ( good riddance) or he will respect you and give you great sex only because he likes it.
Many of my shagbuddies try to screw me into a relationship although I clearly said I didnt want one. I remember a really hot one night stand who asked me in between kisses if I were prepared to make a sacrifice for him ! I was so horrified I jumped out of his bed and never spoke to the creep again. He was cute and hot and reeeeeeeally sexy but what he said turned me off him immediately. A gorgeous latino would automatically throw himself at me whenever I mentioned I was going to the movies with my friends, a hot albanian tried to impose his wife on me, saying we had so much in common the 3 of us could be happy together ! Mark had the audacity to ask why I didnt want him forever , Martin texted me at Xmas and probably didnt understand why I didnt answer. Even Djamel my regular stalker cannot understand that I still did not fall in love with him after years of absolutely fabulous sex. and so on and on and on
All men who threaten to take their dick away if I dont do as they say, whatever their request are, who do they think they are ? or more to the point....who did they take me for ?
Yes some men are hard to walk away from and some I actually miss, I miss Martin a lot, I miss Ismet so much but it doesnt mean I should forget who I am and what I do.
Therefore if you are a woman in this situation, please dont let him rule you just because he is wonderfull, remember you are wonderfull too and a connection based on blackmail is not a conection.
Do they really think that giving us a couple of orgasms give them some kind of power over us ?
Apparently , they do.
We just need to fight back and refuse to be screwed into submission.
Keep sex a pleasure not a weapon.
Do they try to screw us into submission ?
Domination need not be obvious with physical violence and abuse, it can take a more subtle form, how ?
Simply by giving us lots of sex till we cant think for ourselves. Many men do try to screw us into submission.
If they do , that is pretty despicable. Now that I think of it , Ive had lovers who would give me tons of sex just before they had to leave for a couple of days, only that I would not have the energy to have sex with another man.
Thats not love, thats not even desire, that is domination. A man who keeps shagging you for hours without really wanting it, with the sole scope of making sure their " territory " will not let another penis in.
A man who does this is an unsecure caveman.
Some men will bed us only to change our minds or to submit us to do their will.
Some men will do it just to stop us from going somewhere, taking a new job or even going out with our friends. How about those who start petting you heavily as soon as you talk to your boss or to your friends on the phone ?
Fortunately, this doesnt work on me, but only because I am aware some men are using their sexuality to dominate us, but thats me, how about you ?
Ladies, stop giving in just because your lover gives it so good. The truth is , if he has an agenda and uses great sex to make you do whatever he wants you to,
he is beeing manipulative and self serving, where is the fun of that ?.
If you show him you love sex with him but you will not allow it to rule your life, then he will either move on to the next victim, ( good riddance) or he will respect you and give you great sex only because he likes it.
Many of my shagbuddies try to screw me into a relationship although I clearly said I didnt want one. I remember a really hot one night stand who asked me in between kisses if I were prepared to make a sacrifice for him ! I was so horrified I jumped out of his bed and never spoke to the creep again. He was cute and hot and reeeeeeeally sexy but what he said turned me off him immediately. A gorgeous latino would automatically throw himself at me whenever I mentioned I was going to the movies with my friends, a hot albanian tried to impose his wife on me, saying we had so much in common the 3 of us could be happy together ! Mark had the audacity to ask why I didnt want him forever , Martin texted me at Xmas and probably didnt understand why I didnt answer. Even Djamel my regular stalker cannot understand that I still did not fall in love with him after years of absolutely fabulous sex. and so on and on and on
All men who threaten to take their dick away if I dont do as they say, whatever their request are, who do they think they are ? or more to the point....who did they take me for ?
Yes some men are hard to walk away from and some I actually miss, I miss Martin a lot, I miss Ismet so much but it doesnt mean I should forget who I am and what I do.
Therefore if you are a woman in this situation, please dont let him rule you just because he is wonderfull, remember you are wonderfull too and a connection based on blackmail is not a conection.
Do they really think that giving us a couple of orgasms give them some kind of power over us ?
Apparently , they do.
We just need to fight back and refuse to be screwed into submission.
Keep sex a pleasure not a weapon.
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