There is no such thing as a painfree life

Nothing we can ever do will keep pain out of our life no matter what we do to avoid it.
We can more or less keep away from obvious impeding disasters, we may even do some damage control but we can never avoid pain alltogether and that is it.
28 years ago I suffered atrocious labour pain to give birth to my daughter only to end up having a caesarian anyway. I was so frustrated  that I demanded straight away to have a caesarian when I went back to have my son three years later. I thought I would spare myself the pain of long, useless labour. I bypassed the hated labour BUT I hurt anyway as it took me much much longer to recover.
When my last boyfriend Ismet, broke my heart by giving into a forced marriage and terminated our love, I hurt so very much I decided never to fall in love again in order to keep the agony of love pain away from my bruised heart. YET every ten years, one special man cleverly squeezes his way into my feelings only to try and rub my face in it. It isnt heartbreak painful but it is still frustrating and sadening.
When my beautiful guinea pig Speedy died many years ago I swore all animals off, I never wanted to feel that crushed again. BUT what did I do a year later ? I adopted my  beloved cat Shabanne and she gave me three wonderful kitten. I knew that meant having my heart broken another four times in the future but I loved my cat familly too much to stop loving them  ( no regrets here ). I was devastated when Shabanne departed this world because of bone cancer and felt immense sorrows when her sons followed with kidney failure. The pain of their death was unbearable and I miss them to this day. I love her daughter T and take great care of her, giving her all my love unconditionaly even though I know this friendship will also crush me one day.
Two Christmases ago, I lost a friend of mine who was the salt of the earth, the kind of man you can only dream exist , a young man who was decent, honnest, open, tolerant, kind, exciting, smart and very attractive. This beautiful soul died on Christmas day with his fiancée in a horrible car accident, although driving in dangerous conditions was his favourite sport. He lived in utah  and I was stricken by this tragedy,I cried for days and I always remember my friend at Christmas.
I have never smoked YET, since 6 months I have a stupid condition that forces me to sleep with some kind of  machine at night in order to keep breathing when Im asleep. It is not painful per se but rather annoying at night, thanks Heaven I am single !
You see ?  So much efforts in every aspect of my life in the hope to escape pain YET the bitch always catches up somehow. Is pain necessary ? does it keep us humble and grounded ? Perhaps , but does it have to creep up when it is most unwanted  and unexpected ? Is it there to teach us something ?
Pain is unanavoidable, it is part of our life. I will just take it graciously and thank my lucky stars that it is not worse than it is , be grateful for the areas it is keeping away from.

They say I love you and they leave. WTF ?

Lately I have come to realise that the most dangerous words a lover can say to me are words of love.
Apart from the father of my children, whenever a boyfriend, lover or  shagbuddie says they have feelings for me, that they like me a little too much, that they think they could fall in love with me, that we couldnt kiss like that unless we were connected in some way or that they love me......my whole body prepares for the worse because it is exactly what happens next !
Why cant someone  just say they like me and carry on seeing me ?
Why do they have to complicate things with pretend words of love ?
I have never asked a lover to say they love me,  not ever. I occasionally thought that it would be nice for some people to say it at some point but I always controlled myself and swallowed my words before I could do some damages. If I can do this why cant they ?
How annoying is it that each time a lover start some kind of declaration it is always the prelude to blackmail, breaking up or hysterics !
This year alone from January to July, this curse repeated itself twice within 7 months. Martin breaks up with me in bed and say he has feeling for me, K once mentioned possibly falling madly in love with me and dumped me by text a couple of weeks later !
Guys !seriously. Why do you tell people you love them if it a lie ? A big fat ugly lie, unrealistic illusions.
Don't I always tell you I don't want to hear rubbish or lies ? How often have I told all of them as soon as they start these love lies that there is no need to lie to me to get me in bed, just give me what I want already !
Give me lots of mind blowing sex and do not, I repeat , do not talk about love under no bloody circumstances ! Ever !
Next time a lover say they love me I shall just jump out of bed and break up myself.