romantic sex does not mean he loves you.

Discussing with an old friend today about our current lovers and how happy we are with them, the subject of past lovers came up. At some point Mirjam mentioned  Martin ( ex shag buddy ) must have loved me. What on earth made her think such a thing , I wondered.
Mirjam recalled all the the wonderful sex I had described to her and how he and I used to lock onto each other' eyes and cuddle endlessly post sex. To Mirjam this kind of romantic behaviour means he was in love with me. To me, it means we had great  sexual chemistry and more. He did admit he had feelings for me when we parted so I wont deny it, however he never actually said those three words. Therefore my conclusion is .... when a connection between a man and a woman is so strong, when the sex is so magical that post sex includes romantic cuddles, loving gazing and endless spooning...it means gratitude for the joy shared together, it means he is fully living the moment , it means he is totally relaxed and maybe a little connected to you in that very moment... it means many precious things  BUT it doesnt mean he loves you.
You cannot know for sure that this means love until he shows it in more concrete ways.
Mirjam is making the classic female mistake to confuse sexual happyness for love. I should know, I almost fell for it myself. Men know exactly what it is, most women dont and I admit it is really hard to tell the difference if you are not the boss of your sex life.
Ladies, stay on your guards when he is wonderful post sex too. He might be romantic and cuddly but he does not mean that he loves you.

What is the perfect lover ?

What makes the perfect lover perfect ?
What is a perfect lover ?
Let me share with  you what a perfect lover is to me anyway.......Sexually speaking this person rocks your world in and out of bed. Not only gives you fabulous romps but gives you exactly the kind of sex you love, as much of it as you want. He or she finds out slowly and sensuously what makes you moan or not, observes what makes you come hard and what makes you scream. Such a lover makes sure your needs are met before theirs. They give and give and when you return their caresses it turns to a fabulous feast of exchanging mind blowing pleasure till you drop in each other arms marvelling at what you have given each other.
Afterward it is cuddle time or talking time, or both.
You look at each other lovingly, no one is in a superior position, you feel entirely equal to each other. Domination is nowhere to be feared. This kind of lover never blackmails you sexually, never plays silly mind games and never tries  to take advantage of you showing your vulnerability. This person is smart, articulate and always gets your meaning.
You feel cared for and you glow in a circle of trust with your lover.
Socially.... he or she makes you feel very wanted but never stalked. Charming calls or texts to let you  know that they think of you,  make you feel warm inside but never threatened. That kind of lover actually listens when you talk and might surprise you with little treats out of the blue. If he or she can cook, love animals and has a solid sense of humour then I would say you caught yourself THE most perfect lover in the history of perfect lovers.
Someone who accepts the way I live and doesnt  want to change me. Someone who doesnt want children or living together. Someone who never pressures me for anything, someone I can be myself with and talk freely without calculating risks and fearing some  weird over reactions, without holding back all the time. Someone I am not afraid of and is not afraid of me.
That's what I call the perfect lover.