Great sex without love

To all the ladies of all ages, credos, race and social conditions, for crying outloud : STOP PLAYING VICTIMS !
YOU CAN HAVE THE JOY OF SEX WITHOUT THE PAINS OF LOVE !!!!

Are you paying attention ?
Ok, here goes :

Sexual attraction is purely physiological, your body is getting aroused by another body.
Your whole beeing is sending signals and so is his (or hers as the case may be )
-It can be someone you have just met and suddenly as you shake his hand you find you like the feel of his skin, his temperature, his firm muscles, you look into his eyes and you really like what you see.
-You are in a crowded room and suddenly you look across and see someone that you cant take your eyes off, he comes over to say hello and your mouth goes dry, you almost mumble and your heart is racing.
-You have known this person for a while and are comfortable with him, then something is said or something happens that make you look at him in a different way and you wonder what he would look like on top of you with his hair messed and his eyes drowned in  pleasure.

You got the picture now ? Physical attraction is mainly physical, you dont need to be in love or pretend to be in love or tell everyone about it. You dont need to make plans or play hard to get or worry about what he will think of you. He certainly does not.

So somehow you have managed to be in bed/in a car/the club's bathroom/against a door/on the carpet/on your desk.... whatever !
The point is now you are getting sexual with each other, the secret is :

Live the moment to the full ! enjoy this extraordinary gift life is giving you. A moment or a night of sexual pleasure with someone cool who wants to share it with you at that very moment.
Just give yourself as much as you want to give and whatever you want to give as far as it is acceptable to you, in my case I dont do anal sex and I dont sado maso brutal stuff but everything else goes ! So give your body as much as you like at that very moment and take as much from your lover's body too.
Give yourself permision to let go.
Enjoy enjoy enjoy !
Making love is give and take and share and lets go round again, yoohoohoo !

Please do not do any serious thinking during sex, this is the only thing that you get to do for yourself only, no one can take it back, this moment belongs to you, and to the man sharing it with you. Please put your brain on hold once the condoms are on and the feel good hormons start flowing.

When I was young, stupid and vulnerable, I use to intellectualise my sexual relationships way too much, my boyfriend/lover/husband would be shagging my body and my brain would wonder why he had said this and that before and prepare what i was gonna tell him afterwards. I use to wonder if he truely loved me or  would he still respect me in the morning or was he comparing me to the girl he dated before me, or how or why or how or why.....
The result was, I didnt really come and he would aways be on my mind even when he wasnt there, trying to thing back to the shag and make some sense of it.
How frustrating !
Many women make the same mistake because of the hypocritical sacralisation of sex, designed only to take our power away.

Just enjoy the guy when he is inside you and dont think about him until he is back in your arms, thats all.

In my mid thirties , I got my heart broken for the third time and had a year off sex. Yes, yours truely took a break from sex for a whole year.
Actually my intention had been to never have sex again after my husband. I was in shock and behaved like an old spinster.

One night in Interlaken, I was having dinner with my girlfriend Leila who lamented that I had chucked  love out of my life for a man who had already rebuilt his, a really cute irish waiter called Collin ( name changed )was serving our food with a lovely smile, big green eyes and pouty lips. When my friend Leila's words kicked in, 
I thought :
 love is a bitch, im still suffering and he has another woman ! this would not have happened if I had been cold and bitchy and manly.

So I looked at Collin and said : Hey Collin, I havent had sex since my husband and I broke up a year ago, do u wanna get together after work and shag ? no strings attached , I just want to feel the joy of sex again, whaddya say ?
Poor Collin almost droped his tray and giggles : Im your man ! meet me back here at 11.30 pm and Ill show you the stars.
I said , fine, its a date, and ordered some creme brulées for dessert.
Apetite for good food was returning to me too !
How can I describe my friend leila's face.....red, white, red again. She was utterly shocked :
-You are not really gonna do this are you ?
-Yes I am, didnt you say I was turning into a spinster ?
-What do you know about that irish kid ? and how will you feel afterwards and
 im not letting you do this ! Are you mad ?
-I know what i need to know about that kid, he is sexy, he is willing and im getting laid tonight after a long dry spell. I dont want to give it any thinking, im not mad im just tired of living in the memory of my past love, and im not asking your permission.


As I paid the bill, Collin asked me if I really meant that, I answered i never would have said it otherwise.
I came back at the said time, with Leila on tow, still trying to talk me out of it.
Collin arrived and we left.
Back at his place he was a little nervous, much more than I was and it was MY first experience of loveless sex. He started asking me my name and if i had brothers or sisters , where I came from. I just undressed and commented about the football world cup which Italy had won that very day.
And it happened, we had really really good sex ! For me it was a way to admit to myself that my marriage was truely over. But soon it became much more than that, I had so much fun in Collins arms, I had forgotten what it felt like to be kissed , to be held, to have hands playing in my then long hair, to feel a muscular body swinging hips against me, it was magnificient and it went on all night. Italians would hoot their horns contantly, pleased that they were to have won the world cup but it didnt matter to us. As some point Collin whispered "fucking italians !" and I giggled " a propos fucking ..... ?" it was brilliant! I could laugh again, I could make jokes.
Take the drama out of making love and it becomes so alive ! Thats how I felt that night in my irish waiter's arms, alive, sexy, born again me !

next morning at 7am I met Leila for breakfast and told her all about it. She couldnt have been more horrified, she said I should feel empty, how could someone have sex without any meaning or emotion tied to it, I might as well have used a vibrator on myself in her opinion.
I reply cooly that this was the new me and she should be happy for me, when was the last time she had seen me smile like this ? she didnt remember,  right.

I dont like solitary pleasures so as long as I  can get laid I will  get laid, and fuck emotions ,fuck love, fuck meaning  and all this hypocrisies that slow us down and makes us vulnerable, The joy of sex witout the pains of love was gonna liberate me ¨

And liberate me it has indeed ! I never looked back since, I did of course have a couple of near relapses  but it got under control soon enough and it comfirmed my position.

So dear ladies, this is how its done, and man does it feel good !
Check my ebook here