some men are like crack

Some men are like crack. Impossible to get rid off. Highly addictive straight away, extremely toxic and they cost a lot. Im not talking about money here, Im talking about what such men cost in terms of time wasted feeling sorry for yourself, thinking endlessly about the situation without ever finding acceptable solutions and obsessing over him when he is not around. Im talking about the nervous cost when you are crying or feeling worthless, wondering why he treats you the way he does and why you allow it. Im talking about thoughts of him distracting you while you are at work and getting in the way of your real life.
Some men are like crack. You are fully aware that he is bad for you and will prove destructive in the long run yet.... you just cant stop helping yourself to your regular dose of him and a little more. Each time he looks at you lovingly you tells yourself that maybe he is not so bad after all. Each time you have fabulous sex you just give in and put your brain on hold. Each time he holds you for a post sex cuddle you forget all your resolutions and you just  know you will do anything to keep that. Each time he switches back to asshole mode you decide this is the last time he will ever hurt your feelings again and each time he walks away, you tell yourself it was the last time you gave him an opportunity to be a pig.
There ! You made up your mind. The bitch is out of your life................................ But he keeps calling. He keeps calling and he keeps texting. He might even turn up out of the blue. He keeps reminding you of how wonderful he makes you feel, how he makes your head spin with his kiss. By now you have dated other men, worked on projects, moved on....but.... your body still craves its crack/man, You convince yourself that now you are strong enough to play without fallingback into that bad habit and you make the terrible mistake of tasting that highly addictive, bad bad bad crack/man one last time and..................you are hooked again !
Anxieties, deceptions and insecurity return to your daily life and off we go again for another round of misery with this  really hot but inapropriate, highly desirable but so dangerous, cuddly but prickly wrong wrong wrong guy. I compare this a lot to coming off addiction because this is how it feels, you know that stuff/man is toxic beyond belief yet you keep doing this to yourself. Even when you have weaned yoursel of it you still have some moments of crave when you contemplate giving it one last go. You will have flashbacks and there will be a million little things reminding you of crack/man and good times shared together but if you go back you will endanger your whole future.
When a man is wrong for you, he is wrong for you. What makes him wrong for you ? age difference, bi polarity, weird religion, tough carreer, alcoholism, drug use, bad temper, his mother maybe ?  Who cares ? No matter what it is that makes him wrong for you, the fact is that wonderful man is poison when it comes to you, so lets make a comitment to ourselves not to have anything to do with the creep ever again before he destroys you. Of course you will be tempted, you cannot help it, but you can control how you will handle that temptation.
Delete his texts, mails, anything old and new. Refuse to have any contacts whatsoever with him and push away any thoughts of him. Toxic men will keep returning but some day their narcissism will take over and they will hunt down someone easier to fascinate.
Just like the best way out of alcoholism is total abstinence, the best way out of an addictive toxic man is having no contacts with him ever again. Ever.
Some day the pain and the temptations will be gone and you might giggle at the good memories of him.

What's with the baby craze anyway ?

A neighbour of mine, a surgeon in her late forties, started an affair with a consultant in his late fifties, five minutes later they moved in together even though she had a teenage son. They seemed to be happy for a couple of years but then he started to obssess about having a baby to the point that he hardly ever talked about anything else. How ridiculous ! At their age and already  having a young adult child each, what was the point or the hurry anyway ? His constant blabering ruined the quality of their relationship and she eventually left him. A friend of mine told me the other day that he always ends up being dumped by his girlfriends when they demand to have a baby and he refuses. At the age of 45 and having raised a teenage son, he considers his job is done and cant be bothered with bottles, tantrums and diapers anymore. I totally understand his position, why dont his girlfriends ?  I lost my favourite shagbuddy for this very reason, and it also happened to me when I was younger. It would seem some people figure that they must pregnate or procreate with each new significant lover. How irresponsible is that ?
I once turned down a guy who really wanted to date me by pretending I wouldnt date him because I had a boyfriend already, I liked him enough to let him down gently with a little white lie. His reaction was to ask me if I had any kids with my bf, else it was not a real relationship. What is that all about ?
A connection is a connection if you have a great time, tons of fabulous sex and whatever else feels good, wha do people ruin everything with the baby obligation ? Specially those who already have been through it. I have raised my children and now I am entitled to having fun. I know Im not the only adult in that case. So enough of the baby craze already !
 When a man or a woman tells you at the first opportunity that they dont ever want to have children , why try to change their mind and emotionally blackmail them ? This is a silly and very dangerous game where no one ever wins. If a child is conceived for this sad reason, he will not be loved, he might be abandoned or mistreated, at the very least ignored. You see ? No one wins.
Having a baby, creating a life, should take  even more important  thinking and planing than buying a house or studying for a degree.
This is not a tool to force a man to stay or a woman to submit. Babies are not tools !