From nice guy to jerk within a month

Last month I met a real hottie who sold himself as cuddly, giggly, romantic and almost clumsy because of not having dated in a while.
He was lovely, warm , sexy and very nice. I had such a great time but I thought something was wrong when Yassin whispered " I love you " in my ear after the first time we had sex. Not wanting to start a discussion about how unrealistic it was to pretend to love people you hardly know and sleep with once, I acted as if I hadn't heard it. He said it again and again on the second and third date, till I could no longer ignore it and diplomatically explained that he did not have to do that. I already liked him enough to sleep with him, therefore he needed not pretending to say stuff like that. It became a joke when he would giggle : 
" I looooove yoooooou " and I would laugh back
" liar, liar pants on fire, lol "
That was fine.
As he realised he couldn't pull the I.L.Y. trick on me, he began asking me if I were happy. What do you say to a lover who is so hot and so cuddly ? I always batted my eyelids and answered that yes I was very happy.
Is that what made him think I might be victim material ?
Almost overnight Yassin became a jerk.
He cancelled a date, using work as an excuse. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, once, twice, three times and I asked him what the deal was, Is he married ? does he have a girlfriend ?
It is ok, I lied, just tell me if that's the case and we will work it out. (right !) 
He acted all offended, was I crazy ? How could I imagine such a thing of him ? and so on. I pretended to believe him in order to keep things simple but I filed it in my mental " things I don't like about you "  file, I keep on each new lover. the next day he just rang and asked if I was home, I was doing my tax returns, wearing flannels and looking awful, but I was home.
Open up, he ordered, Im downstairs.
Oh man ! there was such a mess everywhere and I looked so unsexy. Within 5 minutes I brushed my teeth, jumped in a flimsy summer dress, splashed cold water on my face and pushed all my books and forms to one side of the brown leather couch I was sipping tea  on while doing paperwork. Yassin waltzed in like he owned the place and went straight to my kitchen to help himself to a cup of tea. Did I mention my kitchen was a disgrace ? I hadn't done the dishes in three days, there was fresh laundry hanging out to dry and a few dirty cups of coffee on the table. Mortified, I told him to follow me in the living room. First he was nice and romantic
I miss you, he said in between kisses.
Hmm I miss you too, I gasped.
He liked my short sun dress and was getting very amorous but I was not in the mood that day and I showed him what was on the couch, explaining that when I am into paperwork I cant be stopped , would he like to come back later or the next evening ?
He was not listening anymore and his hands had their own agenda.
I pushed him away re explaining that now was not a good time and that I was not in the mood.
He had the audacity to ask for a quickie, a privilege I only grant my shag-buddy Igor.
No, I insisted  coldly, either you give me everything or I give you nothing.
Fine, he smiled cheekily as he got up and stood in front of me.
How about a blowjob ? undoing his fly.
Dude ! Are you stupid or something ? I fumed. If I say no to sex, that means no to a blow job too, Sit down ! I was disgusted.
He was all apologetic but the magic was gone.
His phone kept ringing, I suggested he picked up, he looked at the number on his screen and sighed that he was due back at work.
Gladly,  I escorted him out when suddenly he slammed me against the wall and groped my lady parts almost brutally and more or less kissed me, trying to establish dominion. I really hated that. I ordered him to stop and come back when he wants a real date. He backed away from me and started opening the front door when something strange happened.
He motioned with his arm for me to move away from the door and step behind him ?!?!?!?!?!
I didn't bulge and asked what on earth he was doing.
Do you want your neighbours to see you dressed like that ?
I always look decent whenever I get out of the door but right now I was in my hall, in a short summer dress and I can wear whatever I like inside, cant I ?
But you said you like that dress ! I asked innocently
Yes, I like it for me, at home, not for everyone to stare at.
Honey, I am not an Egyptian, therefor I will wear what I like, end of story.
He didn't like that very much and left.
I pondered what happened.
Yassin had shown a different face today, was he pretending to be nice in order to make me trust him and then put his macho crap on me  when I would be addicted to his affection ?
He was.
"One more thing, I thought, one more fuck up and Im chucking you out of my bed."
The last straw came two days later when he woke me with a text saying he had been waiting for a call for me all day yesterday.
What !
He behaved like a jackass and he thought I had to call him ?
What kind of logic is that ?
Why did you think I would call you yesterday then ?
Because it was my birthday.
Making me feel guilty, not a good sign.
I am sorry, I had no idea, why didn't you tell me ?
I did tell you, on our first date, remember ? I guess I am not in your heart. sulking now.
Making me feel more guilty, he did tell me but who remembers this sort of things ?
I want to celebrate my birthday with you, he purred
What does he want ? a cake ? a tie ? a nice shag ?
What do you want ? I questioned
I want a whole weekend with you in a romantic hotel away from Zurich, he whispered sexily.
Seriously ? You cannot even manage one night since two weeks and you would magically find a whole weekend  for me , who are you kidding ?  By now I was getting really annoyed.
How about tonight ? he offered.
Sure, I sighed, but promise me you will call me or text me if you cant make it. Last chance I was giving him, although I already knew he would blow it out of stupidity or machismo or both.
And just as I knew he wouldn't, he didn't come, he didn't text , he didn't call. And I decided that was it.
When I saw him on the next day I politely told him we were done and he reacted dispassionately and walked away.
It was really nice at first and I have no regrets but he soon showed his real face, seriously underestimating my self respect or overestimating his abilities.

Lets recap what happened :

Met a seemingly nice man, I pretended to be a nice girl, never said a word about who I really was, to see how he would handle me.
Within a couple of months he tried to be dominant and pushy.
I refused to be pushed around and he walked away.
So this is how nice girls get treated ? Man I sure am glad to be the boss of my sexlife if that's what nice girls endure.

the law of attraction, 2

What is it that make the magic of sexual attraction happen ?
Some good looking , smart, educated dude wearing expensive clothes and smooth talking , do absolutely nothing for me. A man who looks like life has kicked his butt and survived anyway, really turns me on. Add a broken voice and intelligent eyes in the mix and that is a done deal : I want him.
There is a new man on the horizon that fits that profile exactly. He is like an alley cat and his face shows signs of having survived rough deals, marks, small scars, couple of wrinkles, always looking as if he had come out of a fist fight. He is far from being good looking but I find his rugged charms very handsome. Whenever I see him in town, I managed to go talk to him while he wipes a few tables and the more I get to know him the more I feel this insane, uncontrollable , irrational desire to shag him until he screams my name with his head thrown back and his bruised tattooed body on fire.
A couple of days ago I saw him unload some crates of a van and went over to say hi as he was taking a coffee break. The conversation was incredible. Without going into details I will just say that he appears to have a couple of things in common with me. At some point I told him point blank that I had been hitting on him, albeit clumsily, because I find him very attractive . The object of my desire actually smiled and said I am very pretty and have a great smile.
It always feels nice when someone tells you that you look good,  so much more so when this come from someone you actually fancy.
I have no idea if I will succeed in seducing him but the mere prospect really excites me !

the wonder of sleeping together

Lately I rediscovered a forgotten pleasure, sleeping, actually sleeping with a lover.
When all the madness has gone and we fall down on the pillows, catching our breath and waiting for our hearts to beat normally instead of stomping noisily, either in each other's arms or side by side looking at each other smiling. I love that moment. Of course I love what leads to this moment even more, but the very moment where the two of us just lay there, marvelling at what a moment of passion we shared, still floating, not quite back on earth yet. This is the perfect cuddle time. With most , I enjoy a few cuddles and light kisses before I say thank you and get up to shower and dress up to go home. Since my last connection, I just don't stay the night and sleep over because it creates the cruel illusion of intimacy, which is a real killer when this gets taken away from you abruptly.
However.......we should never say never .....because :
This new guy I am dating is a right teddy bear. Dark, mysterious and very handsome.
I expected to just boink him, say thanks and go home when the real wonder happened afterwards. After the lovely moment I was describing earlier on, just as I was getting ready to ask if I could use the shower before I leave , he blew the candles off, pulled a blanket on top of us and wrapped his big brown body around me. I must have looked quite surprised because he asked cheekily , in between plenty shoulder kisses,  if I wanted more or if I wanted to sleep now.  The way he said it was so sweet, so unassuming that I thought I might stay a moment.....and I ended up actually sleeping in his arms all night ! It felt strange and unfamiliar but at the same time I was loving this warm embrace, those big brown arms holding me just tight enough to make me feel secure, long brown fingers intertwined in my little whites ones to make me feel wanted. Big strong thorax against my back, feeling so warm and protecting, Long muscular legs entangled with mine. I drifted to sleep feeling nothing could happen to me while in that teddy bear arms. I awoke around 3 am, looked around me and wondered what on earth I had been thinking !
 As I tried to discretely slip out of his arms , he whispered
" Noooo , come back, I really like this "
Who cares, I thought, I am really liking this too and nobody is waiting for me at home so.... I slowly sunk back into his open arms , only to be greeted by a tender kiss.
Yeap, I thought, I really like this too.
It took me a while to fall back into sleep as this time I was taking in as much as I could. The scent of his skin, nice. His shaved head, sexy. His dark and full lips, hmm kissable. His great dark honey colour, wow. The warmth of his romantic spooning, mind blowing. By now I was on my back , his left arm under my neck and his right arm around my waist. Sleeping with him is a true delight, memories of wonderful cuddly sleep sessions with someone else  rushed back to my mind before I chased them away. I really enjoyed this and will repeat the experience anytime he wants it but this time I shall be more careful and not give too much.
Morning felt so tender and gentle , waking up to oceans of small kisses and  a great morning quickie. As I declined his offer to shower together, last night was intimate enough as it was, he got up to make some coffee and I notice that his apartment looked a little minimalist, extremely clean and there was hardly anything personal such as family portraits or books. His blackberry had been vibrating all night after he casually threw it on his sport bag and never gave it another thought. I was not going to ask questions to a man who makes me feel so good, specially when he too , had had the courtesy of not putting me through a third degree.
Tall, dark, handsome and mysterious. They don't make  em like that anymore.
P.S.
However wonderful that felt, we were done in three weeks because he thought my liking him that much meant he had some kind of power and would be in a position to be dominant. When he argued with me saying that it is like I am his cat and he is my tiger, I began to understand the magic had gone. But I have no regrets as it was lovely.
P.S.
We are now in September and he is still trying to get back in my pants although I never answer his calls and always say no thanks when he comes to the centre pretending to check out new equipment
Next !
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