Its best to be single because :

After surviving two marriages and a couple of relationships, I am in a position to compare and I definitely recommend singlehood as a wonderful lifestyle. I didnt say celibate nor did I say lonely, I said : single.
Its best to live life as a single woman on every level.
Sexually, its best to be single as you can seduce anyone you desire without missing out on great sexual opportunities because of  loyalty to any boyfriend or husband.
Carreerwise, its best to be single as you can make your own professional choices yourself on the spot without considering a guy's opinion or be slowed down by him.
Socially its best to be single as you are free to go out or away on hollidays anywhere anytime without asking permission, having to negotiate or fearing.
You can read till late or watch any tv show, you can even talk on the phone as late as you want to without someone asking you what you are doing so late and order you back to bed. Mostly when you comply, once you are in bed they just go back to sleep anyway so what was the point of interfering with what you were doing ? They dont even have the sense to give you a nice quickie to thank you for the compagny. pffff.
Financially its better to be single because you are in charge of your earnings and spendings, no man to control your shopping and your groceries. Even if you are jobless or on low income, at least you dont have to beg a man for a box of  tampax or a new dress.
Famillywise its much better to be a single mom than being married or in a relationship in most case, because although you will have to deal with financial hardship at least you wont have to worry about your man beating or abusing the kids in anyway. It is much safer to live without a man for many reasons. When you are by yourself no one can hurt you.
Last but not least. Pleasurewise its much better to be single because... when you are part of a couple, desire will wear off within a year or two and you will have more of a brotherly connection, you will no longer be lovers, not unless you work hard at keeping your passion alive, it can be done but it takes work.
Single women have not only a lot more sex than married ones but we have better quality of sex too. One night stands are the best because men give it all they have regardless of consequences and that's great, no explanations are due on the next morning, no boring endless talk about feelings, no lies either. One night stands are our little perks ! You get laid, have great fun and go home satisfied with a smile on your face and a song in your heart. Not something that happens  a lot within a relationship ! Sexfriends or fuckbuddies are an another adventage of singlehood. I think of them as several-months-night-stands. Yummy , steamy sexperiences without consequences or obligations are the single woman's best friends !
Out of all the women I interviewed for my book and all my girlfriends I spoke to, 80% women said they gave up on a lot to be married or involved. No more great sex, no more dating and much less freedom in general.
My friend Michelle even added with a tear in her eyes : being loved and being married is not the same at all. I believe her.
Unless you find the perfect man for you and  yes there are some up there. Unless you find a truly decent man who is strong enough to let you be who you are, like my friend Renee  has, unless you got yourself an exceptional man... its best to remain single.
You will be happier, free and have more money , more options, more pleasure and so much more fun.
Before some start sending me weird mails, I am not against marriage or married people but I do resent smug married women who condescendingly tell unmarried women : Oh dear ! you are still alone ? Dont worry...you will find someone.  Bitch please ! You are so in denial.

Shower fun !

It had been so long since I had sex in the shower that I had forgotten how much fun it could be !
Yesterday afternoon I was swamped in an ocean of paperwork when an old flame rang. He was in Zurich, could we go out for a coffee. Yes, we could but not before two hours and he could pick me up at home. Deal. I put the phone down and went back to my boring calculations for some times till I saw on the desk clock that I only had twenty minutes to go home and get ready for my date. I packed up and rushed home, fed my cat and jumped in the shower. All the same I wasnt ready when Bastien knocked on my door and I just had to open the door, wet with a towel wrapped around me. Bastien's jaw dropped.
We hadnt seeen each other in a while since he is always travelling but I do have a fond memory of our last encounter. I apologised for not being ready yet.
Sorry Bastien, give me ten minutes, Ive just got out of the shower. I smiled.
Bastien's eyes shined up as he put a hand around the back of my neck and purred : You know what ? You are going right back in...with me.
I first thought of the inconvenients, getting my hair wet again, the mess in the bathroom, more towels to wash, but Bastien gave me such a sensuous kiss that I had to grant his request. He took his clothes off while marching me to the bathroom. Oh dear ! there wasnt even any candles lit, nothing romantic had been set up. All this changed when Bastien and I got into the shower and turned the water on, it became so sexy and so erotic than the set up didnt matter anymore.
I had not done this in a long time, it felt like something completely new to me.
Water running all over our bodies, getting into our mouthes, making our caresses slipery, forcing us to take care not to fall. At some point my shower shagbuddy was behind me, kissing my neck, I felt something rock hard trying to slide somewhere not allowed. I turned around gracefully and told him he should know by now that I do not let anything into my backdoor. He laughed, promessing that this  was further from his thoughts but should I be interested to experiment some day he would be happy to..Im not. End of story. We went back to making out slowly and shagged standing up against the shower wall since I wont  risk the  condom getting wet. It was sooooooooooo hot. When all was said and done, Bastien and I sat into the now filled up bath and cuddled till our heart beats went back down to normal. there was water all over the walls and floor of the bathroom, the shower curtain was off the rail and most of my folded dry towels on the shelves were soaked. We made such a mess !
But I was happy, content to have done something new so spontanuously.
When Jake and I were married we often had shower fun, in fact we were always looking for new places to kiss and to make love. The surprise and spontaneity of Bastien desiring to  have sex in the shower reminded me of that. Later on we were dryng each other up in front of a cup of tea, and he made a joke on my cat laying down elegantly and quite long on the couch. How are we gonna manage to even sit confortably when she takes up all this room ? he laughed. Well she is my cat and therefore she can make herself as long as she wants to, on our couch. I answered seriously, giving my sleeping cat a look of love that I had not given Bastien even when he was making me scream with pleasure dancing meringue in my body earlier on.
What is it with women and cats ?  silly question. It was time for Bastien to leave, we didnt get to go for coffee after all but I was very very clean. Much later on as I had my end of the day shower, I couldnt help giggling at my tub and what it had witnessed.

Why should we always change for them ?

Mirjam is a pretty, smart, strongwilled and opinionated woman in a thirties. She has a good computer job and is quite independant. She also has a handicap that has her sitting in a wheelchair since birth and  that has never stoped her from having boyfriends, both valid and not. Mirjam broke off her last long term relationship because her boyfriend  was getting a little too dominant. Since she decided to have a try at being the boss of her own sexlife, she told her new love interest that she would prefer to stick to a physical connection rather than an actual relationship. We are both pretty sure this guy noticed that Mirjam was in a wheelchair after sleeping with her for a few weeks. The day came when he said  he wanted a real relationship with Mirjam and do couple things with her. She reciprocated his feelings therefore accepting to have a real relationship with her lover. He started to get bossy and unpleasant as soon as he was certain of Mirjam's feelings for him. His demands are unreasonable and evil. He has ridiculous expectations  such as the two of them taking walks with Mirjam not using her chair, which means she has to painfully uses special crutches for short distances. Why does make her do this ? Simply because he doesnt find the chair nice looking and he doesnt want to be seen dating a woman in a wheelchair ! Did the chair not bother him all those weeks they were shagging ? He must know she needs her chair to get around and yet he has the cruelty to force her not to, and all for the sake of how it looks ? If the dude doesnt want to date a disabled girl then he shouldnt date one. Or , he should have stayed in the closet like they were at the begining. The point Mirjam was making last night as we discussed this, is we always change who we are in order to suit our men. Why do we do this ? When we like our man we either change to fit the mold or we change as he tells us to. We diet to lose weight,  we dress to please him, we even change our hair dos and our hobbies for him. Must we always change who we are and what we do in order to keep a man ? Aparently we do. Being the boss of my sexlife means I dont have to go trough this nonsense anymore because I dont want to have my own man. That was one of the first benefice I enjoyed in my new philosophy. As to my mate Mirjam, I know her intelligence will kick in and trow the creep away when she reaches breaking point.