Dont wanna fall in love

You know how they say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else ? It doesnt always work. Unless you have a sex bomb like Igor to get underneath of. Im coping with the realisation that I might have developed some feelings for Martin and I really am not happy about it for a number of reasons.
My friend M, the only man I respect enough to listen to, has a theory that Martin words to me, a couple of weeks ago, hurt me because I might be falling in love and we all know that the ones we love are the ones who have the power to hurt us at will. If thats the case I dont want to be reminded of how love feels.
I miss the jerk everyday but I refuse to be a victim,
I have practically been sitting on my hands not to dial his number, I miss his touch like a junky crave his fix. Before Martin becomes my own crack, I am taking a few steps, im not calling or texting and I have had a couple of satisfactory sex dates. However my thoughts always turned to him afterwards.
How annoying ! How do I get that guy out of my head ? I want him out of my head now !  Tonight I was feeling on fire, I tried to immerse myself in paperwork or a complicated novel and it didnt work. Whom shall I call to have a nice time with, I wondered. I just told Ayo to get lost a couple of days ago and Karim is way too clingy, I'd never hear the end of it. The Brazilian man told me that he is not a second choice, I guess he must have checked my facebook page, oops ! That cute saoudian informatician did ask me out but Im not sure.... whom ? That serbian mountain of  muscles who got offended when I refused to get in his car ? I dont think so. I just never get in a car with a man I dont know, end of story. Whom ?
Who do you think I called that came running fifteen minutes later ? Thats right. Igor, the king of wood, the giver of hot hot hot sex that never asks questions. Igor ! I have often turned  poor Igor down because of Martin so it has a nice symetrie to it. My caveman waltzed in and took me right on the dining table, not very dreamlike but quite efficient. Martin did pop into my mind a few times but I pushed him away kissing Igor hard. Of course I noticed the difference and missed the tenderness and the adoring gaze but this loving sex comes at a really high price that im not willing to pay. Even if Martin could have been  a new chance of loving, he is not gonna love me back, he is a thirty year old man who still lives like a hippy and when he will be my age, my age, I shall be a little old lady of seventy years. Whatever we have in common, there is just too much going against us and I have no desire to hurt this way. Therefore I focused on Igor and enjoyed it to the point of being quite noisy. Did I mention that tonight  Zurich's barometer is over 30 ° ? I left the window open and thought nothing of it till some woman started screaming that we could at least shut the window when some people are trying to get some sleep. We broke out in hysterics, that was really funny, so funny in fact that we had to take a break, giggling that we were. Igor is gone home now and I have no thoughts of Martin, at least for now. Im gonna keep fighting this love danger before something really bad happens, stay tuned !