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This title and those texts are protected by law.



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Tuesday 13 March 2012

How do single dads manage to date ?

My shagbuddy Igor has attempted twice to get with with me last week but I had to turn him down because I really had no time at all. Between a very busy schedule at work and familly activities plus a couple of cultural ones, I simply did not have time to get bouncy with Igor at all. He even suggested a quickie because of my lack of availability but I think he is way too yummy for a quickie.
Igor has to be enjoyed, felt, devoured and consumed.
I might have made an exception for someone new but Igor and I have been playing together for years.
However , his instance made me wonder how come he had no one else to turn to. Igor is certainly sexy and confidant enough to go cruising for a one night stand. He is attractive and smart enough to have a relationship, not to mention a lover or two as well as another fuckbuddy. Then what was the problem ?
It occured to me that it cannot be that easy for a single dad to date around. When you are single, or like me single with adult children, whatever you do will mainly affect you and you alone, as long as you protect yourself with condoms. If you date a bad person, you can just break up. If you deal with a psychopath you will have to suffer stalking. If you date a lovely drama queen , you will have to suffer rejection. But mostly, you will be handling the consequences, no one else but you will hurt. Who cares ?
It is an entirely different matter when you have young children still depending on you, like Igor and his two little boys. A single dad, just like a single mom, needs to be extremely careful in selecting bed mates.
You cannot take a crasy person home, cannot take the risk he/she will refuse to leave before daylight. What if your kids walk in on you doing the deed ? What if this person returns when the kids are alone with the sitter and makes a scene ? Or introduce themselves as your GF/BF ? It is just impossible to explain the concept of one night stands, sex-friendships and sexual needs to kids. Even harder to explain it to your ex spouse. That's for the worse case scenario, now imagine all goes well, single dad meets really nice girl, they have a relationship and he even introduces her to his children whom in time will get to like her too. Now, something or someone else happens and they break up. What do you tell the children ? How do you explain this person they just learned to trust is no longer welcome in their home ?
This must be so confusing for them, This is why, as a single mother, when my children were still young and vulnerable, I chose to remain single at all cost. I never took a man home and never talked about my one night stands or sexfriends in front of them. At some point my children even started to ask my friends if I were gay ! I welcome the lesbian way of life if it means I am not burdened with a man telling me what to do, I do think these ladies have a point. That brings us back to Igor.
He knows he can trust me, I have occasionally seen him drive his boys to school and I pretended not to know him so that he would not have embarassing questions to answer. He cherishes my discretion and he shares my taste for compartimentalising everything in many boxes. That's why he would rather have his naughty ways with little old me, lol, than go cruising for a potential danger.
Not easy to have a great sex life when you are a single parent. We women know what to do but it seems to be a tad more complicated for single daddies, repeat after me : Awwwwwww

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