best to be honest

2 weeks ago I had a huge surprise.
A former shagbuddy of mine just paid me a visit at the center. I was counting bottles of lavender oils to see if we should order some more, minding my own business, miles away from thinking about sex when I noticed a tall slim black man standing silently a few feet from me. Looking up at him I felt my heart jump.
Byron !
Byron, lovely, romantic, sensual and adorable Byron !
Yay !
I rushed in his arms for a great bear hug. So happy to see him again.
He is back in Zurich and thought we might catch up on gossips. In the tea room where I usually have my breaks, Byron told me what he had been up to for the past four years since he left. Back packing through Europe, meeting great people, reading ancient litterature, learning more foreign languages. As I listened to Byron, I realised that I had really liked him although I barely noticed when he left. Why did he leave already ? Oh yes I remember now, I was too dispassionate and noncomital for him. He was too smart and definetely too decent for me. When the topic turned to me I found myself telling him about Martin and K, and how this  had made me even more determined to keep love out of my life and refuse to commit to romance and love.
Why did I tell him that ? What possesed me to be so honest ? Since when do I tell men my inner thoughts ? Did I like Byron more than I thought or is it because he took me by surprise and I had no time to put my armour on ?
He seemed unimpressed that my position in those matters had not changed in all those years, adding that I had more to offer than just that. ( I know ) I insisted that this is what makes me happy and he remarqued that it must be because I already done it all, marriage, love, raising children and the whole nine yeards. ( I know that too ! ) .
It was time for me to return to the center but I asked him to come over for dinner when he has time, he answered he would think about it. As I wanted to give him my number he gave me his and whispered softly that he already had mine. What ! He has kept my number all this years ? Why ? Who does that ? Does he still like me ?
I gave him a chaste kiss on the lips, whispering I want to see him soon, before waltzing back to work.
It felt wonderful Byron wanting me again but I may have made a mistake by being too honest.
2 weeks and a couple of texts later, we still havent gotten together and I wonder if maybe he might have hoped that I would be ready for something more substantial by now and I blew it by declaring im not.
Byron is just to good to be lied to and if Im losing an opportunity to sleep with him because I told him im still me.......I shall accept that.
If one night he decides to take a walk on the wild side, at least he will do so knowing what to expect.
I guess it is best to be honnest after all.