separating sex from real life

Yesterday as I was waiting for the green light to cross the street I saw some children gigling and thought they were adorable, I looked up at whomever their dad might  be and  immediately looked away while turning bright red.
Igor.
That busy working  dad holding his little boy's hand with one, a briefcase in the other and carryng a back pack full of groceries while shouting at his other little boy not to cross just yet ,that  was my sex bomb Igor.

How embarrassing ! I had been working hard all morning and was on my way to the grocery store, in other words I looked tired and was dressed without an ounce of elegance.
I was not at all expecting to see him in his real life during a moment of my real life and my cheeks went burning.
And he saw me like this !
What was he doing in my neighborhood anyway ?

It occured to me that Igor has seen me exhausted, naked and disheveled even half asleep or barely awaken  before,  so what was I hiding from ?
The light just insisted on staying red and I couldnt help taking another look at Igor... oh no, he was staring at me too.
I was gonna change into a strawberry if my face went any redder, but I couldnt stop having fabulous shag flashbacks of us melting into each other 2 weeks ago and how deliciously kinky he can get.
I was almost afraid of looking at him because of how turned on that made  me feel.
This is a moment in my real life, I thought, there is a time for everything, im not in sex mode right now and it is inconvenient to be distracted.
Right now is time to be serious and do groceries before going back home  then back to work to do some admin work, cannot be on fire now, not now. 
Men are too much of a distraction if you take them seriously.

I crossed over anyway and thought it safe to turn back to take another look at that walking volcano.
Oh dear !  Igor was still looking at me from a distance.
Was he thinking the same as I was ?
Was his heart throbing and his pulse raising  like mine was ? was he mentally ordering his dick to go down ? 
Not now, I thought, dont be such a school girl, dont be distracted.

It was like 2 worlds colliding.

I strongly believe in compartementalising every aspect of my life, like in different files  that never ever mix.
I cant deal if they do. Silly, I know.
I separate  every aspect of my life methodically.
I separate my job from my social life, my spirituality from my sexuality, my fitness club from my shopping habits, my hobbies from my duties, my familly is at the top of my priority pyramid and my friends have no idea who my lovers are and my lovers have no clue as to who I really am and what I do.
I like it that way, this gives me total control of my life and I dont like it when two worlds collide.
I would hate it if a lover of mine dated a woman I befriend, played golf with my brother or ate at the same restaurant I do with my real friends.
My best friend said that is a little paranoid, an ex lover of mine once called me selfish for it.
It is not selfishness it is simply self protection.
Separate every thing, that would be impossible to do had I a real relationship, men do ask too many questions.

There you have it, the secret to beeing happy and in control is :
-no men in a power position.
-separate each aspect of your life.

Im not sure if this would work for everybody but it sure works for me.
Do you really think Im overdoing it ?

Day sex vs Night sex

Have you ever notice how good it feels to have sex on day time ? When you are not suposed to, when you should be at work, beeing productive and stressed out, and instead you take an hour off your insanely busy schedule to meet with a friend and get bouncy.
Sweaty skin, hair messed up, make up melted, wrinkled clothes all thrown on the floor. But you couldnt care less because you feel happy, extatic and soooooooo empowered. The urgency of it and the obligation to get back to work/ class/ meeting, make it feel so naughty...
Great sex is the only time when we are truely free and unafraid, the only thing that we get to do for us, the one thing that cannot be taken back.
You immediately step back into reality after a couple of orgasms and you will handle whatever they throw at you with a smile on your face and a song in your heart.

My all time favourite is morning sex, I know a lot of people dislike it intensely but I feel there is something almost primal about waking up next to someone ( preferably someone you made passionate love to the night before ), looking at him still half asleep and to find that his very first reaction before he even says good morning  is reaching his hand out and grab your body for glorious beautifull magical morning sex !
yum yum yum !

A French friend of mine says if the night has been great, he feels like having some more in the morning. Igor says day sex energy is way stronger that night sex but he never does it as he wakes up because he cant even think of sex before he has a cup of coffee. Most black men are happy to start the day with a good romp. we are all different.

At night of course you are more relaxed, have more time and can spend as much time on sex as you like, even taking breaks and doing it again later.
Djamel, Mark, Volker and Djawad always said they felt like night time is precisely for this, sharing voluptous moments of madness with me, to make up for their tough day time activities.
There is something mysterious and creative about making love when it is dark.
The hypnotic sexyness of candlelights and their shadows dancing on your lover's naked skin. Phones are off, music has to be played less loud... does it get more romantic that that ?
Is it my imagination or do men give themselves more fully at night ? Specially if it is a first date with a new man and you have agreed to sleep together afterwards for some reason.
I had such a fabulous date with a smart, articulate, warm and cuddly man from new zealand last week and I just loved the spooning that ocurred before I fell asleep in his arms, I hadnt done that since Easter 2009 !

So , we have day time sex that is breathtakingly exciting, urgent and has an almost forbidden feel to it and we have night time sex which is beautifull and magical beyond description.
Which one is your favourite ?
I know I cant choose either. Oops I guess that means I gotto carry on doing both then !

Fight sex with crasy Angelo

Angelo was a viril handsome spanish wine salesman in his mid thirties that I met trough a good friend when she gave him a lift as we had just returned from running some errands.
That morning I was less than presentable,unwashed hair, red nose and broken voice from a cold, how someone found me attractive that day I will never know.
I barely said hi to Angelo when Caroline introduced him as he got in the car behind me.
To my surprise he asked my friend Caroline for my number ! I was intrigued and accepted to have dinner with him. Dinner lead to great sex on the third date and I thought Angelo might make a good shagbuddy BUT I was afterall dealing with a macho man from Spain and he though I should be, submissive, sweet , available and non opinionated ( did he pick the wrong girl or what ? ).
He decided when and where we should see each other,everything had to be on Angelo's  terms,  he even wasted my time twice by inviting me over and deciding he wasnt in the mood for sex after all, I was so vexed ! i slammed the door of his apartment as he was shouting he would never touch me again ! grrrr

Little did he know that I was already the boss of my sex life back then and as soon as he tried to display power, I reacted by jumping in another man's arms, a gorgeous lawyer called Mickey, practically in front of him.
I had liked Angelo  and I  wanted to make him jaelous to prove a point so that we could renegotiate our affair on my terms.
My point was : Dont you dare blackmail me sexually because, although I like your dick, I can get nice dicks elsewhere anytime. I dont need yours !

Caroline and her husband Jeff, gave a huge party to celebrate a major promotion he got. Angelo was there, so was I. He turned up with some bimbo that he kept toying with, making sure they were always a few feet from me.
I had come by myself as I always do to a party.
Angelo's games were a little  unerving, not to mention that everyone was talking about us.
Suddenly I spotted this classy handsome man who had women practically queuing up for him !
Not only was he movie star good looking, looked like one too, he had this aura of natural elegance and sexyness without even trying hard.
My friend Caroline explained that Mickey was a corporate lawyer that worked with her husband, and a really nice person too, single !
I told her he just looked way too hot to be a nice person and I didnt care about the "single" part, Mickey would be perfect to annoy Angelo, I decided.
Oh but dont you want to patch things up with Angelo ? asked my friend
No I just want to show him who the boss is. I replied.
I stood somewhere Mickey could see me and I just stared and stared at him silently .
I overheard him say he would never date a woman who didnt drink or smoke because that would be boring.
Aha ! a challenge !
Intrigued Mickey came over to introduce himself and offer me a glass of champagne. I declined politely and looked him straight in the eyes.
I dont drink nor smoke, I purred,  you want to dance with me ?
And we did, dance slowly while we made small talk. Angelo didnt like that very much.
Good.
As he proceded to kiss his bimbo while looking right at me, I asked Mickey to come to the bathroom for a make out session.
Mickey jumped on the chance and draged me to the bathroom by the hand.
Fortunately Mickey was a great kisser, I said he was too good for something quick and sordid, he should drive me home and call me the next day.
Mickey and I exchanged our numbers, as we came out of the bathroom, he went to the cloakroom to get our coats. I stood in front of the bathroom door, pretending to reaply my lipstick and prin my hair for at least 5 minutes just to make Angelo boil at the thought of what might have happen between Mickey and I.
muahahahaha   ( silly , I know)
By now he wasnt even looking at his bimbo anymore.
Good.

A couple of days later I had a proper shag date with Mickey and wow !
First, I had to endure the ritual of classical first date,  boring dinner and  eluding the usual third degree. I was hoping this would be worth it and discretly checked my watch as I wanted to get shagged, showered and home in my jammies before the midnight movie started on television.
What ?
i want to hurry that date so i can make the creepy movie on time ! so what ?
Im a movie junkie and proud of it, there is a time and place for everything. A time to eat fine food with friends or familly, a time to date, a time to get wild and crazy shagging with a handsome one night stand, a time to work, and a time to relax in front of the tv while my cat purrs to me.
With a modicum of organisation and discipline you can have it all !
I noticed the waitresses kept smiling at him and a few female customers too. Ah the pros and cons of dating a strikingly beautiful man !
I told him next time ,we are skipping dinner and jumping straight into bed !
This is too hot to waste even a second of it.
Mickey was so gorgeous and possesed such expertise in the art of making love that I forgot all about Angelo. I would go as far as admitting that one afternoon, in his bed, after a really steamy session, I cought myself thinking :
this is it, sex doesnt get better that that. I could die right now and have no regrets because I got to shag Mickey.
I changed my mind since of course but that is what I felt that day after a million multi orgasms with Mickey.

Didnt last of course, besides the fact that Mickey was constantly travelling and I wasnt prepared to close my legs in between 2 visits, there is also the small matter of him never listening to anything I said no matter how often we dated  and ...........I may have shaged a colleague of his, unknowingly.
The class differance took care of the rest.
Lawyers and working class women dont mix too good I guess.
But I dont regret it, what a fabulous romp that was !

Back to my viril, sexy, mucho macho, spaniard.
When Angelo called me after that party, summoning me to his place  to demand an explanation he was so not entitled to, I had a lot of fun when he mentioned that Mickey looked like a proper maricon anyway.
He kept asking all night if I had done it with him and I just kept him hanging there, refusing to answer.
But we did have wonderfull fight sex Angelo and I !
What a man ! we were screaming at each other half in spanish and half in english, at some point we were in his kitchen and he opened the fridge door to pick up some mustard, I must have made a wrong move and he dropped the mustard jar on the floor !
Joder !Look at what you made me do  !
I laughed at him while holding a glass of coke in my hand and he took it brutally, spilling it on my chest !
Aii non ! hijo de p. ! I complained . smearing some mustard on his shirt !
I started  removing my Tshirt  and walking towards the bathroom to clean that mess.
Angelo never let me reach the bathroom.
The whole thing really turned him on and he began kissing me hard. I pretended I wasnt interested and pushed him on the couch, ( convenient ? right ? )
where he pulled me to him immediatelly.
Fight sex is quite explosive and exciting but I wouldnt do this everyday.
What made it so good is that it was totally spontaneous, he was kissing my neck then pushing  me away sighing he didnt want me anymore because I was a bitch and he would never touch me again ! I would just get up , pull my skirt down and pretend to walk away till he would grab my waiste from behind and whisper : non te vayas, quiedaté conmigo.
Why ? am I not a bitch ?
You are but im loco por you, bitch!
And again we would roll on Angelo's persian carpet, bump into some furnitures, argue again and shag again.
I can truely say that my revenge night with Angelo was unforgetable, nothing compares to it even now !.
Around 6am, he was slowly falling asleep, absolutely emptied by our sexfight. I was happy, I proved a point, I got to shag Antonio again, but I also realise that was our last time together...it had to be, you cant pick up after a power game like this.
Too bad.
I got up, sorted my torn clothes around me as he grabed my ankle asking me where I thought I was going,
Out, you and I are trough, just like you wanted, ahora non me vas a toccar nunca mas, cabron.
Bitch , I fucking hate you.
I wraped my coat around me, feeling strong, alive and so sexy ! 
Nose right up in the air, hoping the taxi driver would not notice my smugged mascara, messy hair and and funny mustard/coke smell on my ripped clothes.

Igor j' adore...

I cant believe how fantastic shaging was this morning.

As I just returned from a week holls with my best friend (where I ve been a very good girl) that  was tons of fun as we drank gallons of hot chocolate and gorged on fabulous  food ! Yum ! I put 2 kilos on but it was well worth it. All I need now is a few classes of Pilates or zumba to shed them along with a couple of orgasms, since we previously established that good sex burns calories.
Talking about a couple of orgasms, Igor rang to ask if I had fun  and did I get home ok. I answered I am home already and feeling tres horny, that was enough for Igor to come here running.
He arrived wearing casual chic clothes, starting making small talk till I took his hand and dragged  him to my bedroom. He smiled and jumped on me when I opened the sexy black negligé i wore for him. Igor is a man who is driven wild by sexy lingerie and I love wearing it so we do understand each other.

Wow ! was that the best shag Ive had in weeks or what !
An hour and a half of solid wood never going down, kissing, groping, moaning, talking dirty ( this I dont actually like but I will put up with it as long as it doesnt get too gory ).  Sex with Igor is always torrefic but this morning it was phenomenal !
He only stopped because he had to go home to prepare his son's bday party, and even so he did it in such a sexy way... looking straight into my eyes whispering next time I come he will come with me. This is such a turn on !
And we did come together, I felt as though there were fireworks in my bed, the man almost had to peel me off the ceiling.
Igor likes a good post sex cuddle, so do I, instead of spooning, which I love, he remained on top of me ( man he is heavy !), playing with my hair and covering my face in little kisses.
Still inside my body  he remarked that  this  strong attraction between us is quite interesting, it is so powerful and long lasting, how many years has it been already ? How wonderfull the sexual energy that we create, how funny that we barely talk but have such a splendid bodily connection.
I tensed up, I thought Oh no, dont break up with me when you are still inside me! I had flash backs of that eastern german kid and his : sex with you is too good for something casual therefore we must break up speech, Mark crossed my mind with his : if you think im not good enough to be boyfriend material I will find someone who does.threat.
But Igor was genuinely marvelling at how fabulous our love making is ( I wonder if he thinks he is the only man I shag ? ) and how we could power up a small town with the incredible energy that we create together.
Igor was still gazing at me and at some point I worried that he felt so high he might either break up with me or make me the usual be my girlfriend or im leaving threat. Suddenly Igor slided himself out gently and asked if I had read any good books lately. Yes ! The awkward moment is gone and we can make idle talk again, which means we can carry on having toe curling multi orgasmic sex like 2 good old friends with benefits , yes yes yes !

The scariest words a man can say to me

I just saw a really funny show about a 40 something divorcee who has a young lover and breaks up with him when he tells her he loves her, egged on by her girlfriends. The reality is not half as funny but not too far either.
There is a  movie that starts with Angelina Jolie beeing damped by her current lover because he was demanding a real relationship and she couldnt commit.
Im not unacustomed to such situations.

Younger lovers of mature women do have a tendance to get carried away strongly but they come down just as fast. Thats why if you date a younger man and he says the L word, its best to put a stop to it before starting a chain of events that will lead to serious heart break.
In fact if any man you are dating says the L word, run for your life, or if you really like the guy tell him you dont want to hear that word again if he wants to carry on whatever it is you got going. ( unless you want to devellop a relationship, then you need a different strategy ) .
People , specially women, often misunderstand sexual extasy for love, they confuse sexual compatibility with completing each other.

Sometimes a sexual encounter is so intense and so beautiful that you cant stop thinking of it and you absolutely need to recreate the magic , you want to feel again what he made you feel because it was so extraordinary that you sometimes wonder if it really happened at all.
Thats when you are lucky.
Which is great  for the lovely memory of a wonderful one night stand, but what happens if you repeat the same experience with the same guy and feel the same wonder again and again ?
Most of the time the novelty will wear off and the magical lover will turn into a friendly poker that will turn around after 10 minutes to snore and fart and you will be left wondering what it is you ever fancied about him in the first place.
Thats when you are quite lucky.
Sometimes, the sex is so good that you will cross a few lines and break a few rules and suddenlly your shag buddy is not a sex toy anymore, you know his history, you know his likes and dislikes, you understand his point of view and agree without arguing, you began to establish a rapport of trust, something that should be reserved for friends only.
You even wonder if maybe this could be "the one" , you are more and more relaxed around him and the day he offers to take things further into a relationship you jump in with both feet. That wasnt what you were looking for but you stumbled on a love story so why not chance it ?
The day he tells you he loves you, you want to believe it so much that you allow yourself to be completely exposed to all sorts of harms, you even begin to change your life to suit his and at first it feels really good...

Men always want what they cannot have so a woman like me is often viewed as a challenge to them, many have tried to break me, 2 of them nearly made it.
The most scary words a man can say to me are : you are safe with me.
When a man says  these words I tense up and get ready for battle. It is as when a man says: I dont want to hurt you, he is going to hurt you within 5 minutes of saying this. And when a man says I love you right in the middle of a fabulous romp or right after it or during a special moment, how can you trust him ? is it sexual gratitude ? is it a trick to make sure you will be faithfull ? is it a con to make you defenseless so that he can tear you apart ? is it because he is at a low point in his life and he thinks you might make a fine compagnion ?
How can you trust a man when he says I love you ?
Most of them have an agenda. Good or bad, it always ends up with him submitting you to his will with the option of flashing you down the toilet once you have given him everything and you are no longer a worthy opponant.
You end up broken hearted, distrusting of people, and humilated.
Thats when you are not very lucky at all.
Is it worth the risk ? I put it to you that it is not.
Last year I got dumbed by 3 of my bedmates whom I had really liked, Djawad, Mark and Volker, I didnt even get annoyed because this often happens in my connections to men, they end up wanting more, I dont want to give more and they flee. Or they try to tell me what to do, I rebel and they flee still !
Im used to it, I hate it but I rather go trough this regularly than say yes to a relationship and get seriously hurt.
Am I overdoing it ? Probably. But thats the way it works for me,
would it work for you ?
I  havent gotten my heart broken in years ! yay !

The hot portuguese waiter from Interlaken.

A few weeks  ago I attended a conference in the picture pretty town of Interlaken, during lunch break some colleagues and I went into this posh restaurant to carry on talking about current subjects while we ate.
As I ordered my lemon sauce raviolis I glanced at the waiter then back at my menu then back at the waiter and noticed  he had intense brown eyes and a serious amount of latino badboy charm while beeing classy at the same time.
He wasnt smiling at me but his eyes were saying that he was interested in giving me much more that delicious food to feast on.
I dismissed the thought as wishful thinking on my part, how could that hot young thing want me at first sight ?
When said hot young thing brought me my plate he stared at me again wordlessly, as he brought my colleagues their plates, he always paused and gave me a sexy stare for a nano second. They all started to eat and talk shop while I tried to focus on the conversation.
Hot young thing, was standing behind a counter doing something by the till and was still staring at me with shiny eyes. I did what any responsible adult woman would do in such a case :
 I pretended to go to the bathroom to see if he would make contact with me.
He didnt, oh man I must have read him wrong ! Lets go back to my lunch before embarassing myself any further.
As I open the bathroom door to leave,  the hot waiter was standing in the door frame, staring at me again, but this time he was smiling.
" Give me your number and adress , I want to make passionate love with you" he said with a sexy rocky voice , was that a spanish accent I was hearing ?
" I live in Zurich"
" I have a fast car "
" As it occured to you one of those men Im having lunch with, might be my husband  and you might be  assuming a lot? "
" No way, Ive been watching your body language and you are not with any of them, but you are looking at me, I know you want me "
" I do" I whispered. giving the gorgeous spaniard my business card.

After that I could relax and get on with lunch and conversation, when we all left, the hot waiter helped me put my coat back on, which I would have normally refused but I wanted some kind of contact. And he did take the opportunity to caress my neck discretly while pretending to help with my coat.
Yum ! this was gonna be good.

When the conference was over I took a train to go back home and re read the notes I had been taking, my thoughts went back to the posh restaurant and the hot spanish waiter.
Did it really happen ? Will he actually call ? Man I wish I had at least kissed him, given him a taste of things to come..... but this guy is like the wind, he just appears, makes a strong impression and vanishes again.
Nah he's not gonna call, maybe he collects girls numbers for a kick but doesnt go all the way or maybe I misunderstood, or maybe DIIIIIIIING DIIIIIING
a text appeared on my phone screen :
I will be at your house at 11pm tonight, Rafael.

YAY ! Its for real ! yay im getting laid tonight ! and by a strong silent type latin lover yay !

I had been ready for an hour when Rafael rang the bell, excited as I was.
I practically run to the front door then decided to play cool and slowed down a little then I decided it didnt matter, who cared what he will think I was gonna enjoy this mucho macho like there's no tomorrow.

Oh what a night.
Rafael walked in  without a word, extremely confidant, pushed me agaisnt a wall while kicking the door shut behind him. Kissed me till my head was almost spinning , he looked at me and started undressing , throwing his clothes on the floor, ( wait a minute.... Versace ? Valentino ? how does a waiter afford these kind of clothes ? ). He walked like a tiger, had the natural elegance of one too  and opened each door till he found my bedroom..... he tilted his head to signal me to come over, could he be sexier ?
Rafael still had some Armani boxer shorts  on,  as he admired  all the candles that I had  set , the beautifull bedding, the romantic Joao Gilberto music, the sexy atmosphere I had  prepared for us.... looked  like he apreciated it, Rafael turned  around and said : ven aqui meu amor. 
A portuguese ! again ! oh man ! I must remember not to have anything to do with him after tonight.
For now lets just enjoy the ride.
And what a ride it was...a mix of rough and gentle , kissing my neck sensously one minute and pulling my hair the next, riding my body furiously then making sweet love, groping hard and touching softly, almost yanking my head off when he came, then sucking my toes slowly, that guy was  driving me absolutely crasy with the things he was doing to me !

And this ocean of sensuous madness kept waving over me till 3 am !
I was laying there trying to catch my breath  marvelling at what you can get out of a posh Interlaken restaurant, lol.
Rafael picked up his ridiculously expensive designer watch and declared he had to back to Interlaken to prepare breakfasts, he was showered and dressed in a flash and gave me one last really long orgasmic kiss and left without a word.
Multi orgasms and barely a word ? my kind of guy.
That guy was like the wind, he appeared, made a really strong impression and vanished...

(I watched him drive off noisily in his Porshe, from my window and, wait ! he has got a Porshe ? what kind of waiter drives a Porshe ? Who cares anyway ?)
That was one of the best one night stand ever, not the best, but one of them.
The next day I was covered in bruises and could barely sit down but that was fine because that had been a really phenomenal shag.
A tad violent maybe but that was only once. I would not want that regularly.

I never rang Rafael again and neither did he, its awsome how we understood each other barely talking , 2 adults meeting for just one night of fabulous sex and parting on a great memory.
One night stands should always be like this, perfect and without follow ups.