My crasy night with Jekyll and Hyde

My east german shagbuddy and I had been tiptoeing around each other all week. Yesterday I knew he would come and I turned down three hot  men whom I know to be fabulous lovers who are free of complications because I wanted my fucked up drama queen. There he was, on fire. He just jumped out of his clothes and practically run to my bedroom. He had been wanting this since last sunday but I wasnt free when he was and he had been off drinking when I was. But there we were now, Martin admired my new red beddings that matched my red gstring and at first we kissed and cuddled slowly and romantically for long moments filled with sensuous desire and.....no wood. He admited he was recovering from a hangover and that affected his erectile function. ( If he knows drinking shots tempers his erections, then why does he keep on drinking ? ) I purred that it didnt matter and that we can make each other happy anyway. And we did  !
He kissed my feet and sucked my toes till my head was almost spinning and asked if a man had ever done that to me, I said once but not as good as he does. He kissed and cupped every inch of me and we rolled over a few times laughing.
He got back on top of me and said that this really was my favourite position, I replied that yes I love that position but I also like it when Im on top or when he is on the side or when we are sitting up or when we.
Martin, cupped  my head and asked pointblank :
 You in love with me ? right ?
I stared back totally speechless.
Maybe a little bit in love with me ?  ja ?
Why would you say that ? I asked, trying to gain time, not knowing what to say.
You look at me that way and you love it when we have sex,  you get so  out of control.
So that's how men measure girls love ? We really are different species !
You look at me the same way and you also love having sex with me so does that mean that you ?
Are you in love with me ?
Martin shut me off with some hard french kissing till I could barely breathe.
What was I supposed to say ? " I could love you but you are a  fucked up, complicated, complex, compelling, annoying east german drama queen ?  "
I worked hard to fall out of love with him and I finally get to enjoy him on my terms. About six weeks ago he once said I didnt actually have him so why does he start a discussion about love that he is not capable of finishing ? It would have been rude to say no, it would have scared him away if I had said yes. Why did he put me on the spot like that ? Is he too dumb to understand love terrifies me ?
After this weird non discussion about love, he went from romantic to insane mode. He had a smoke on my balcony, stark naked. Did he not feel the cold ? Hopefully no one was at their window at one am. As he returned to bed he asked if he could take his pillows (my breasts)  home with him, I giggled and he began to fondle them and kiss them, and fondle them more until he was frantically squeezing them as if he really wanted to detach them. His kisses did not feel like kisses at all, it was as he was trying to devour me and  suffocate me at the same time. He would come up for air asking who needs air anyway and dive back down on me. I couldnt move as  he was pinning me to the bed almost agressively. That was not enjoyable at all. I barely recognised the sweet lover that had asked me if I loved him half an hour before. This was a raw  Cro Magnon who was brutally taking what he wanted and ignored my complaining nos. At some point he left the bedroom. He returned fully dressed to say he had thought of sleeping here but would be going home after all, and he wanted me to think of him.
Say what ?
Somehow that turned me on and I just pulled him back on my bed with all his clothes on.
Bad idea.
By now he was in full  Neanderthalian  mode and just jumped on me, twisting, biting and groping brutally, biting my neck painfully , bruising my breasts and thighs.
I hated what he was doing to me but at the same time I couldnt bear to let him go !
Martin  was treating me like his sex toy, like his rubber doll, and I was furious, shouting at him in french to let go of me. Paradoxally when he climbed  out of my body  and walked to the door , I run after him naked and held him tight in my arms.  He dropped his back pack and dragged me into  the living room where some more madness took place. Again I wanted him to leave because he was really hurting me but some unidentified part of me wanted him more and more even if it hurt.
Look at you, Martin sighed , You are besides yourself. I have never seen you like this.
Besides  myself ?  Im not the one biting and groping here.
I answered You have been dressed up for nearly an hour yet you cant seem to leave, why ?
His reaction was to kiss me up and down slowly gently, lovingly.
It felt surreal, this fully dressed giant on his knees kissing my naked body. Then we reversed roles and  he was moaning so loud that  I sincerely hoped all the neighbours were either out partying or deeply sleeping.  I stopped when Martin said it was hurting.
Hurting ? But you were almost coming ? How painful could it be ?
I know, that's so bizzare, it hurts but it feels good at the same time. I want it and I dont then I want it.
So he too had been feeling this ambivalence. Or maybe he is just bipolar.
Do you ever masturbate thinking of me ? Martin smiled.
No, I never masturbate.
What if I want  you to ?
I said no ! If you want any action with me, come here and we'll do it together. I insisted.
Hmmm sounds good to me, he flirted.
That night was getting weirder and weirder. Now I really wanted him to leave.
Kuss mich, ( kiss me) he ordered in a low intimate voice.
He stood so close with face inches away from mine, crazy love burning in his half closed eyes.
I complied and it was all going to start again when my achy body reminded me that I was dealing with Mister Hyde tonight. He needs to go now, I thought , while his long bony hands started to roughly explore my bruised body again.
What do you say when you want a man to leave ?
You ask him to stay.
Cheri, I whispered, stay here tonight , we can play some more then go to sleep and have morning sex....you like that dont you ? Come on stay, dont go....
Man's natural instinct to not do as he is asked kicked in and he left, after kissing me so hard I could barely breathe.
Once alone, I rolled up in a foetal position with my cat in my arms wondering what had happened here tonight. What should I feel ? Why did he do that ? Shall I see him again ? Will he realise how he acted ?
This morning I could barely get up. my body is covered in bruises, specially my breasts and there are some hematomas on my neck and jaw where he bit me. Is the dude crasy or was that a reaction to my not answering his question last night ? I truely dont understand what we did last night.

P.S.
One week later as I walked home from dinner in town, I noticed a man sitting on the street, listening to his Ipod. As I quickened my pace, the man got up and jumped on me ! Before getting too scared I realised it was Martin, stone drunk . almost falling down me while trying to kiss me. We walked hand in hand to a park and talked. This was his way to handle this was to overdrink as to not being accountable but I talked about it anyway. He was so embarrassed and couldn't explained his actions, I said if it ever happens again I will never talk to him ever again, he noded silently and we sealed with a kiss.