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I am the boss of my sexlife, the Book has arrived !

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Monday 29 November 2010

Are real men sensitive and emotional ?

Some discussions I have had lately with my daughter and with some friends have made me wonder about it.
Are real men actually sensitive, emotional, fully equipped with a brain and a heart ?

In the 80's and the 90's, a man was supposed to be , heartless, selfish,  totally insensitive (except for football), tougher  than us, more academically educated than us, less smart than us, chain smoking, not involved in the raising of his children and absolutely clueless about female orgasm, giving equally bad sex to his wife and mistresses while demanding absolute obedience and fidelity from said poor wife and mistresses.
I am afraid many countries are still stagnating into this nonsense.

However, we in the free world have evolved beautifully, most men are careful about their diet, quit smoking and actually exercise because they do want to keep looking sexy for their woman and not impose on them.
More and more young men are immersed in the raising of their little ones and carry on looking after them even after a divorce. I see many men push pram around, shop for groceries and have parent teacher meetings.
Some even love being stay at home dads while mom is away working hard. And some dont even mind their women being better qualified and better paid !

By the time I was a mother and working fulltime, I would put in a 9 hours day work and come home to my husband who had done exactly the same and now wanted to be served a good home cooked meal in a spotless apartment, I actually had to work twice ! My husband and I use to clash constantly about his cro magnon attitude and even then I resented the lack of sharing the chores.
Now, most couple have worked it out brilliantly, I was invited to a friend's house for Thanksgiving and most of the delicious food had been cooked by her husband.. My daughter has many talents but she cannot cook to save her life, at the start of each new relationship she always warns her boyfriends who always answer that its ok because they can cook quite well.

So, they cook, they look after the kids, they do their share of housework.... what else do they do ? They look nice for us. New men take care of themselves, hygiene and grooming are no longer considered  unmanly.
And they even are better lovers....they read books and magazine  articles about it, they no longer just hump and turn around to snore loudly, they want us to scream their names and come all over the place and say they are the very best we ever had. 

Ever tried to watch a comedy or a sentimental movie with a guy ? First they will complain endlessly about that sissy stuff but soon they will be into the plot so much that they will groan if you put the movie on stand still just to see their reaction. They might not shed a tear but they will smile tenderly when Bridget Jones finally get to kiss Colin Firth in the snow. Awwww
In front of other men they will act as Cro magnon as can be , but once alone with you they will reverse to being loving big teddy bears.

Whilst we have had to toughen up and harden ourselves a little in order to combat them with their weapons, a lot of men have gotten in touch with their heart and are no longer afraid to talk, to open up, even to show their vulnerability to the one woman they do trust.
Is it that they dont want to be like their fathers were or is that they were raised by strong women ( like my son has been raised)?
Who cares ? what really matters is....more men are leveling out nicely with women and it can work beautifully.


Of course not all of today's men are like this, my point is : a real man is like this.

So if your man, treats you badly, pushes you around and trashes your feelings, if he fucks you selfishly but never makes love to you, never gives you an orgasm. If he cheats on you, lies  to you, never does anything around the house, always has his mates around but never lets you invite yours.
If he is brutal, ignorant, macho and dominant, then you know you do not have a real man....you have an idiot neanderthalian who imagines that real men actually behaves like apes.
Check my ebook



5 comments:

Charley said...

Men have a very hard role to play these days - you could say we've lost our way. There we are doing all these new tasks - there we are dusting -hoovering one minute with our pinnies on (God help us!) then next thing we're satisfying you in bed -powerful rampant animals that we are! Quite a contrast between the 2 roles I think you'll agree. Its why men are having to re-assess who we are - our roles - keep our masculinity yet find our position in this world which we are not quite as sure of as before.
I live alone so ironing cooking cleaning - all these tasks are normal.
But to be conscient (sorry French word?) of our status we also need to keep those elements 'sauvage' that make a woman moist between the legs. Quite a juggling act...

Chantal ! said...

I do agree, I think modern men are more like me. Strong without beeing brutal and gentle without beeing weak.Aaaaand sauvage and romantic in the bedroom, lol. Great combination !

Charley said...

The wonderful paradoxes of life. An ex once told me that she liked men strong yet vulnerable. I suppose it is this discovery that in the end nothing is as black and white as we once thought. Apparent contradictions can make perfect sense in the end.

Anonymous said...

GREAT ARTICLE CHANTAL ! TOTALLY AGREE, AND CHARLEY, YAP YOUR EX WAS RX: STRONG AND VULNERABLE ...(NO CHEATERS, LIKE MY EX HUSBAND WAS, ALLOWED)

Anonymous said...

Of course real men are like that, always have been. The difference is you are now becoming aware of them. The world is becoming a smaller place so they are more visible and the internetblogosphere shows more of them to you. Real men have always been this way....except in Satan's artificial world. The men you are "familiar " with, "treats you badly, pushes you around, trashes your feelings" etc those are men who were made in the mold and form of satan's world. Real men. the ones who are sensitive, emotional etc... ARE JUST NOW BEEING MADE BY GOD AND HIS CHRIST. It's part of the universalshift from Satan's hell of a world to the Kingdom of God.
Peace.
M.