The hypocrisy of open relationships

When i was married or even in a serious relationship, I considered fidelity came with the territory of officially belonging with the man I loved.


Since I decided to remain single and claim my sexual freedom and my fun , I have simply refused to be involved in a relationship again.
Besides, a man would be quite unhappy with me now, Im still a kind, loving, nurturing woman but I just cant go trough the servitude of relationships or marriage again, constantly making compromises, pretending to seek his aproval, yuck !


Hence my  behaviour, Im not anyone's woman therefore Im not cheating on anyone, no man gets hurt because of my bed hopping.


My conscience is therefore in peace.


However i know at least 4 long term couples, one of them gay, 2 of them married, who practice open relationships.
People say an open relationship is an excuse to cheat without consequences.
I guess anything goes between 2 consenting adults, but are they really all consenting to their man/woman getting bouncy with others ?
How much of this is based on fear and intimidation I wonder ?
Of course it is much more honnest to have an open relationship that to lie, deceive and cheat on your partner, but does the  non cheating partner really really not  mind at all ?
I was once asked by this mate of mine if I would please have sex with her husband so as to rekindle his failing interest in physical pleasure, WTF ?
Her master plan was we would have sex and she would join us later in bed to take over. I politely declined after pointing out all the flaws in her plan.
This really beautiful bisexual married librarian once asked me to sleep with her while her husband would watch,  its ok, he doesnt mind,  Oh but I do bloody mind !
2 of my shag buddies have asked me to 3some and went quiet when I glared silently at them.
I understand  men asking their wives for a 3some as a birthday present, i do, altough I wouldnt give that to no men of mine, but to just go out and say you are gonna shag that new girl from the office but it wont mean a thing ? Duh !
It is not cheating if we both agree,  come on guys, are you serious ?

I once read this article in a famous ladies mags about a woman who had agreed to an open relationship in order not to lose her husband. It was pathetic, she had a whole list of do's and donts that he swore he would stick to.
Unrealistic  rules like :
He cant know their names, cant exchange phone numbers and emails,cant give them head,  cant french kiss them , cant gaze into their eyes and so on, whats next ? he is not allowed to come ?
Bitch please !

Can you just visualise such a scene :
2 people having sex, sweating, moaning, coming all over the place, having a good time and remembering the whole time not to kiss and not to lock onto  each other's eyes , not to get too carried away ?
"oh wait Ive just kissed you passionately !I shouldnt have done that, I feel ever so guilty !" he'd say or : "oops ! I'd ask your name to shout it while I come but Im not "allowed"
to which she'd answer " its perfectly understandable, I really dont want to disrespect your wife" or " would you mind not twirling your tongue there ? my husband did insist that I only do this with him"


Sex is the only time when we are really free, totally attuned to ourselves, to nature, to life. The very time when we have no restrictions. So to temper with that , seems plain wrong to me.


I used to quite like my shag buddy  Djamel, but  he wanted a real relationship with me, at some point I actually had the weakness to offer him an open relationship, he had never heard of that, I explained what it was  and he was so horrified I wonder what had possessed me to offer it in the first place. So I broke up instead.
There you go, lesson learned.

When I was a teenager I read "les liaisons dangereuses" and I used to think it would be cool to have a boyfriend like Valmont I could really be naughty with, share sexperiences and compare notes with.
When I did meet such a man, I realised it wasnt cool at all, at least not for me.
There you go, lesson learned , again !


What is it with guys and open relationships, porn, 3somes  and all that crap ?

Im not saying this is wrong , im saying it is not for me and it certainly should not be forced on women.
If you have no desire left for each other, settle down for a loving friendship instead, like my  ex husbands and I have, this is a really wonderful connection that cannot be messed up.
What says you gentlemen ?