How do single dads manage to date ?

My shagbuddy Igor has attempted twice to get with with me last week but I had to turn him down because I really had no time at all. Between a very busy schedule at work and familly activities plus a couple of cultural ones, I simply did not have time to get bouncy with Igor at all. He even suggested a quickie because of my lack of availability but I think he is way too yummy for a quickie.
Igor has to be enjoyed, felt, devoured and consumed.
I might have made an exception for someone new but Igor and I have been playing together for years.
However , his instance made me wonder how come he had no one else to turn to. Igor is certainly sexy and confidant enough to go cruising for a one night stand. He is attractive and smart enough to have a relationship, not to mention a lover or two as well as another fuckbuddy. Then what was the problem ?
It occured to me that it cannot be that easy for a single dad to date around. When you are single, or like me single with adult children, whatever you do will mainly affect you and you alone, as long as you protect yourself with condoms. If you date a bad person, you can just break up. If you deal with a psychopath you will have to suffer stalking. If you date a lovely drama queen , you will have to suffer rejection. But mostly, you will be handling the consequences, no one else but you will hurt. Who cares ?
It is an entirely different matter when you have young children still depending on you, like Igor and his two little boys. A single dad, just like a single mom, needs to be extremely careful in selecting bed mates.
You cannot take a crasy person home, cannot take the risk he/she will refuse to leave before daylight. What if your kids walk in on you doing the deed ? What if this person returns when the kids are alone with the sitter and makes a scene ? Or introduce themselves as your GF/BF ? It is just impossible to explain the concept of one night stands, sex-friendships and sexual needs to kids. Even harder to explain it to your ex spouse. That's for the worse case scenario, now imagine all goes well, single dad meets really nice girl, they have a relationship and he even introduces her to his children whom in time will get to like her too. Now, something or someone else happens and they break up. What do you tell the children ? How do you explain this person they just learned to trust is no longer welcome in their home ?
This must be so confusing for them, This is why, as a single mother, when my children were still young and vulnerable, I chose to remain single at all cost. I never took a man home and never talked about my one night stands or sexfriends in front of them. At some point my children even started to ask my friends if I were gay ! I welcome the lesbian way of life if it means I am not burdened with a man telling me what to do, I do think these ladies have a point. That brings us back to Igor.
He knows he can trust me, I have occasionally seen him drive his boys to school and I pretended not to know him so that he would not have embarassing questions to answer. He cherishes my discretion and he shares my taste for compartimentalising everything in many boxes. That's why he would rather have his naughty ways with little old me, lol, than go cruising for a potential danger.
Not easy to have a great sex life when you are a single parent. We women know what to do but it seems to be a tad more complicated for single daddies, repeat after me : Awwwwwww

Spring makes all feel amorous !

After the siberian winter that also meant sexual desert for me and many people I know, we are now starting to feel alive and sexy again thanks to the beautiful weather. Sunshine warms our skin, stimulates our Hypophises through our eyes and vitamin D is running havoc. Yummy ! About time !
This week I have been hit on three times, went on a couple of dates and had a lot of fun. I havent actually had sex yet as I am still getting over a really bad cold but those dates were never the less romantic and full of sexy promises. I had a good giggle when and Italian customer told me that his name was " encora "  which means "again" in Italian. I laughed and laughed and asked if he didnt get lots of silly jokes with a name like again, encora. The joke turned on me when he spelled his name : a-n-c-h-o-r-a.
Noooooo ! Spelled like this it does not mean again at all, anchora means the anchor of a ship ! No sexual misunderstanding at all. I was beyond embarrassed when I blushed while apologizing and he said , he will forgive me if I go for a coffee with him. Ambushed ! lol.
I have had so many Italians that I almost overdosed on them and I usually shy away because I know them too well. but at least this one made an effort to make me laugh so I  might go on a date and eventually throw in a shag if he makes me laugh some more. There is someone else that I have been cruising for ever but who never gave and I am very much looking forward to getting to know this person better. Everyone walking into the center is smiling and charming, man I love it when the weather makes people feel beautiful in and outside ! Rooaaar !
I am so back and on top of my game !

The 10 yearly special man

Every ten years a special man manoeuvers himself into my life and rocks my world with some consequences.
When I was twenty, I met my Jake who became my first man, my first husband , the father of my children and a life long friend.
Jake is still absolutely worth it.
When I was thirty, I fell in love with Ismet, 8 years younger than me,  whom I consider to be my last serious boyfriend and loved me back so passionately for 18 months. He made me want to be a better person and I still feel the benefits of his love to this day.
Ismet was so very worth it.
When I was forty, a portuguese alcoholic bartender called Carlos , 14 years younger, forced a tumultous and insane , rocky relationship on me for an entire year before leaving me humiliated and embarrassed.
 The only good thing that came out of it, is that my children realised I was a woman and not only good old mom.
Carlos was absolutely not worth it and I regret the whole mess.
When I was fifty I met Martin, 20 years younger than me, who gave me tenderness and mixed feelings for 15 months. He showed me what loving sex was even though I had given up on it. I have no regrets but I will be carrying on being the boss of my sexlife because that is the life style that makes me happier.
Martin was really worth it.
What an incredible ride !
That means I get to have another decade of naughty fun, yay !
 But do you think I shall have a love story with a forty years old as I reach sixty ? He will have to be some kind of intense fruit cake to fit MY standards and top his past competition. lol

Happy Valentine to my fellow singles ! Muah !

Each Valentine the same nonsense happen. Some people who dont truely know me, look at me condescendingly and declare thats its too bad I dont have a partner because I wont get a rose and a card. Not to mention those who advertise that their man will actually come home early and give them a good shag on Valentine. Seriously ? People like this really think they should feel sorry for me ?
How sad is it that a woman has to wait for Valentine day to get some attention, floral or sexual, from her partner ? I am happily single and get laid so much more than most women in relationships. Flowers and candy come to me all year not on one yearly event. I am happy for couples who really have lots of loving fun on Valentine but I am asking smug arrogant  and otherwise ignored bitches to leave us single gals alone with the pretence that you are better off that we are.
Being single means total freedom and having all your options opened all the time, so please do not be sorry for us we sure are not. I know a few couples in love who really get in Valentine and it is wonderful for them. However my idea of a great Valentine is a quiet evening at home with my beautiful cat purring lovingly by my side while I stuff my face with my favourite home cooked dinner, watching some funny romantic comedies. Friends and familly will text cute messages, perhaps a shagbuddy or two will as well, that is quite enough for me. I have fun and sex all year around, not just when the calendar says I can. I make a point of not having sex on Valentine day, to me it means more if a friendship thing rather than a lover thing. On my Valentine week I shall have 2 great sex dates and a couple of wonderful girlfriend dates, tons of chocolate and probably a long long soak in my bubble bath. How Valentiny is that ? taking loving care of myself ?
Happy Valentine to all of you from my cat and I, Muah !!!!!!

Love comes in so many forms.

Dear readers, just wanted to let you know that I am back.
I was reminded of what love feels like and I am very grateful for this  extraordinary experience which I shall cherish always. But as well as humbling me and teaching me how essential it is to have love in my life it also confirmed how happy I am to be single. Yes I have enjoyed all the perks of a relationship  but I have strongly disliked all the little dramas of it.
I acknowledge that we cant live without love but I have chosen to bypass the love of a man and be the boss of my sexlife aka my independence aka my power aka my happiness.
Yes I miss the intimacy but I don't miss the tyranny. Sure I miss the magical love making but I don't miss the having to always look fabulous and make up romantic decorations. Too much work if you ask me. Of course I miss the familiarity but I sure don't miss having to explain and to hold back and to lie to protect myself. I am so relieved not to be afraid of losing him anymore. It is so nice to just put on flannel jammies, face cream  and switch my phone off for the night without leaving it on so that he could call any time. How liberating not to have to tidy up my apartment everyday or to not hesitate accepting another invitation during the weekend because he would surely turn up and get upset for days if I said not today.
My privacy has returned ! woop woop !
Love comes in so many forms, I don't need to be dominated or vulnerable to have love in my life.
There is so much love in my life as it is.
My family, my siblings and specially my grown children fill my days with love. I had tea with my quasi daughter in law this afternoon and I could feel her love for my son, this made me feel like a million dollars. Just as I do when I watch my daughter's fiancé look at her with such adoration. I feel love for my friends when we confide in each other and support each other through tough times. I even feel love when I go to Church. I certainly feel love when I pray and when I read the Scriptures. I feel love when my cat wakes me up ever so gently with her innocent purring in the morning.
I love my dear friends, I love the father of my children. I love my profession that makes me help people and make them feel better. I feel love when I do voluntary work for people who really need it.
I listen to a Michael Jackson or  a Ray Charles album and I feel their love for the wonderful music they have so generously given the world.
My heart swells with love I think of my children and the lovely bond that we have.
Yes there is love in my life, all kinds of love, tons of love.
It is not the love of a partner BUT it is love never the less and it is enough to make me feel whole.
I am back, with more knowledge of the love I am giving up on, and I make a conscious choice of remaining the boss of my sexlife.No regrets there.
My terms, my conditions, my risks.
May love stay in my life always.