Discussing with an old friend today about our current lovers and how happy we are with them, the subject of past lovers came up. At some point Mirjam mentioned Martin ( ex shag buddy ) must have loved me. What on earth made her think such a thing , I wondered.
Mirjam recalled all the the wonderful sex I had described to her and how he and I used to lock onto each other' eyes and cuddle endlessly post sex. To Mirjam this kind of romantic behaviour means he was in love with me. To me, it means we had great sexual chemistry and more. He did admit he had feelings for me when we parted so I wont deny it, however he never actually said those three words. Therefore my conclusion is .... when a connection between a man and a woman is so strong, when the sex is so magical that post sex includes romantic cuddles, loving gazing and endless spooning...it means gratitude for the joy shared together, it means he is fully living the moment , it means he is totally relaxed and maybe a little connected to you in that very moment... it means many precious things BUT it doesnt mean he loves you.
You cannot know for sure that this means love until he shows it in more concrete ways.
Mirjam is making the classic female mistake to confuse sexual happyness for love. I should know, I almost fell for it myself. Men know exactly what it is, most women dont and I admit it is really hard to tell the difference if you are not the boss of your sex life.
Ladies, stay on your guards when he is wonderful post sex too. He might be romantic and cuddly but he does not mean that he loves you.
Ladies of all age. Take the power back from men ! Follow my wonderful funny adventurous sex dates and learn............ Do not judge too harshly, I gave up on love after 2 heartbreaks and decided to live like a man. This might not work for everyone.... sure works for me! Im not saying we must all act like me, Im saying : it can be done and it is quite enpowering ! Because: Im the boss of my sexlife.
This title and texts are protected by law
This title and those texts are protected by law.
I am the boss of my sexlife, the Book has arrived !
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Monday, 16 April 2012
Saturday, 7 April 2012
What is the perfect lover ?
What makes the perfect lover perfect ?
What is a perfect lover ?
Let me share with you what a perfect lover is to me anyway.......Sexually speaking this person rocks your world in and out of bed. Not only gives you fabulous romps but gives you exactly the kind of sex you love, as much of it as you want. He or she finds out slowly and sensuously what makes you moan or not, observes what makes you come hard and what makes you scream. Such a lover makes sure your needs are met before theirs. They give and give and when you return their caresses it turns to a fabulous feast of exchanging mind blowing pleasure till you drop in each other arms marvelling at what you have given each other.
Afterward it is cuddle time or talking time, or both.
You look at each other lovingly, no one is in a superior position, you feel entirely equal to each other. Domination is nowhere to be feared. This kind of lover never blackmails you sexually, never plays silly mind games and never tries to take advantage of you showing your vulnerability. This person is smart, articulate and always gets your meaning.
You feel cared for and you glow in a circle of trust with your lover.
Socially.... he or she makes you feel very wanted but never stalked. Charming calls or texts to let you know that they think of you, make you feel warm inside but never threatened. That kind of lover actually listens when you talk and might surprise you with little treats out of the blue. If he or she can cook, love animals and has a solid sense of humour then I would say you caught yourself THE most perfect lover in the history of perfect lovers.
Someone who accepts the way I live and doesnt want to change me. Someone who doesnt want children or living together. Someone who never pressures me for anything, someone I can be myself with and talk freely without calculating risks and fearing some weird over reactions, without holding back all the time. Someone I am not afraid of and is not afraid of me.
That's what I call the perfect lover.
What is a perfect lover ?
Let me share with you what a perfect lover is to me anyway.......Sexually speaking this person rocks your world in and out of bed. Not only gives you fabulous romps but gives you exactly the kind of sex you love, as much of it as you want. He or she finds out slowly and sensuously what makes you moan or not, observes what makes you come hard and what makes you scream. Such a lover makes sure your needs are met before theirs. They give and give and when you return their caresses it turns to a fabulous feast of exchanging mind blowing pleasure till you drop in each other arms marvelling at what you have given each other.
Afterward it is cuddle time or talking time, or both.
You look at each other lovingly, no one is in a superior position, you feel entirely equal to each other. Domination is nowhere to be feared. This kind of lover never blackmails you sexually, never plays silly mind games and never tries to take advantage of you showing your vulnerability. This person is smart, articulate and always gets your meaning.
You feel cared for and you glow in a circle of trust with your lover.
Socially.... he or she makes you feel very wanted but never stalked. Charming calls or texts to let you know that they think of you, make you feel warm inside but never threatened. That kind of lover actually listens when you talk and might surprise you with little treats out of the blue. If he or she can cook, love animals and has a solid sense of humour then I would say you caught yourself THE most perfect lover in the history of perfect lovers.
Someone who accepts the way I live and doesnt want to change me. Someone who doesnt want children or living together. Someone who never pressures me for anything, someone I can be myself with and talk freely without calculating risks and fearing some weird over reactions, without holding back all the time. Someone I am not afraid of and is not afraid of me.
That's what I call the perfect lover.
Friday, 23 March 2012
Finding great sex where you are not looking for it
Today at work, my boss surprised me with a huge bouquet of beautiful flowers. I couldnt believe it when she said they were for me. I started working at the center exactly ten years ago today ! How classy of her, I had totally forgoten. As I walked home with my wonderful velvety looking flowers in my arms I reflected on what working ten years at the center has done for my social life. A lot.
I have made some mates I still socialize with today. Formed some solid sexfriendships that are still on today, almost fell in love twice. I had many interesting conversations with really good people. I have on occasion helped women with bad men problems or councelled teenagers who couldnt talk to their parents, encouraged those who needed it and comforted those who sought solace.
Last but not least I have met many gorgeous strangers who gave me all sort of sex. Dangerous, mysterious, exciting, wild, dirty, quick, long lasting, experimental, loving, and really beautiful sex.
Working there, I found tons of fabulous sex when I was absolutely not looking for it.
Who knew I could get some of the best sex of that decade by standing behind a counter in that little center, not even in the most famous part of Zurich. Not only was it a sound business decision but it did wonders for my dating life. It would have been so frustrating to work here had I not been single !
The crasiest, most incredible but also loveliest men of Zurich all walked in to ask about a product on the shelves and walked out with the promess of a fabulous sexperience with moi !
Who needs to go cruising in bars ? I just go to work, lol.
What an incredible ride this has been. Here is to the next ten years of madness, yay!
I have made some mates I still socialize with today. Formed some solid sexfriendships that are still on today, almost fell in love twice. I had many interesting conversations with really good people. I have on occasion helped women with bad men problems or councelled teenagers who couldnt talk to their parents, encouraged those who needed it and comforted those who sought solace.
Last but not least I have met many gorgeous strangers who gave me all sort of sex. Dangerous, mysterious, exciting, wild, dirty, quick, long lasting, experimental, loving, and really beautiful sex.
Working there, I found tons of fabulous sex when I was absolutely not looking for it.
Who knew I could get some of the best sex of that decade by standing behind a counter in that little center, not even in the most famous part of Zurich. Not only was it a sound business decision but it did wonders for my dating life. It would have been so frustrating to work here had I not been single !
The crasiest, most incredible but also loveliest men of Zurich all walked in to ask about a product on the shelves and walked out with the promess of a fabulous sexperience with moi !
Who needs to go cruising in bars ? I just go to work, lol.
What an incredible ride this has been. Here is to the next ten years of madness, yay!
Tuesday, 13 March 2012
How do single dads manage to date ?
My shagbuddy Igor has attempted twice to get with with me last week but I had to turn him down because I really had no time at all. Between a very busy schedule at work and familly activities plus a couple of cultural ones, I simply did not have time to get bouncy with Igor at all. He even suggested a quickie because of my lack of availability but I think he is way too yummy for a quickie.
Igor has to be enjoyed, felt, devoured and consumed.
I might have made an exception for someone new but Igor and I have been playing together for years.
However , his instance made me wonder how come he had no one else to turn to. Igor is certainly sexy and confidant enough to go cruising for a one night stand. He is attractive and smart enough to have a relationship, not to mention a lover or two as well as another fuckbuddy. Then what was the problem ?
It occured to me that it cannot be that easy for a single dad to date around. When you are single, or like me single with adult children, whatever you do will mainly affect you and you alone, as long as you protect yourself with condoms. If you date a bad person, you can just break up. If you deal with a psychopath you will have to suffer stalking. If you date a lovely drama queen , you will have to suffer rejection. But mostly, you will be handling the consequences, no one else but you will hurt. Who cares ?
It is an entirely different matter when you have young children still depending on you, like Igor and his two little boys. A single dad, just like a single mom, needs to be extremely careful in selecting bed mates.
You cannot take a crasy person home, cannot take the risk he/she will refuse to leave before daylight. What if your kids walk in on you doing the deed ? What if this person returns when the kids are alone with the sitter and makes a scene ? Or introduce themselves as your GF/BF ? It is just impossible to explain the concept of one night stands, sex-friendships and sexual needs to kids. Even harder to explain it to your ex spouse. That's for the worse case scenario, now imagine all goes well, single dad meets really nice girl, they have a relationship and he even introduces her to his children whom in time will get to like her too. Now, something or someone else happens and they break up. What do you tell the children ? How do you explain this person they just learned to trust is no longer welcome in their home ?
This must be so confusing for them, This is why, as a single mother, when my children were still young and vulnerable, I chose to remain single at all cost. I never took a man home and never talked about my one night stands or sexfriends in front of them. At some point my children even started to ask my friends if I were gay ! I welcome the lesbian way of life if it means I am not burdened with a man telling me what to do, I do think these ladies have a point. That brings us back to Igor.
He knows he can trust me, I have occasionally seen him drive his boys to school and I pretended not to know him so that he would not have embarassing questions to answer. He cherishes my discretion and he shares my taste for compartimentalising everything in many boxes. That's why he would rather have his naughty ways with little old me, lol, than go cruising for a potential danger.
Not easy to have a great sex life when you are a single parent. We women know what to do but it seems to be a tad more complicated for single daddies, repeat after me : Awwwwwww
Igor has to be enjoyed, felt, devoured and consumed.
I might have made an exception for someone new but Igor and I have been playing together for years.
However , his instance made me wonder how come he had no one else to turn to. Igor is certainly sexy and confidant enough to go cruising for a one night stand. He is attractive and smart enough to have a relationship, not to mention a lover or two as well as another fuckbuddy. Then what was the problem ?
It occured to me that it cannot be that easy for a single dad to date around. When you are single, or like me single with adult children, whatever you do will mainly affect you and you alone, as long as you protect yourself with condoms. If you date a bad person, you can just break up. If you deal with a psychopath you will have to suffer stalking. If you date a lovely drama queen , you will have to suffer rejection. But mostly, you will be handling the consequences, no one else but you will hurt. Who cares ?
It is an entirely different matter when you have young children still depending on you, like Igor and his two little boys. A single dad, just like a single mom, needs to be extremely careful in selecting bed mates.
You cannot take a crasy person home, cannot take the risk he/she will refuse to leave before daylight. What if your kids walk in on you doing the deed ? What if this person returns when the kids are alone with the sitter and makes a scene ? Or introduce themselves as your GF/BF ? It is just impossible to explain the concept of one night stands, sex-friendships and sexual needs to kids. Even harder to explain it to your ex spouse. That's for the worse case scenario, now imagine all goes well, single dad meets really nice girl, they have a relationship and he even introduces her to his children whom in time will get to like her too. Now, something or someone else happens and they break up. What do you tell the children ? How do you explain this person they just learned to trust is no longer welcome in their home ?
This must be so confusing for them, This is why, as a single mother, when my children were still young and vulnerable, I chose to remain single at all cost. I never took a man home and never talked about my one night stands or sexfriends in front of them. At some point my children even started to ask my friends if I were gay ! I welcome the lesbian way of life if it means I am not burdened with a man telling me what to do, I do think these ladies have a point. That brings us back to Igor.
He knows he can trust me, I have occasionally seen him drive his boys to school and I pretended not to know him so that he would not have embarassing questions to answer. He cherishes my discretion and he shares my taste for compartimentalising everything in many boxes. That's why he would rather have his naughty ways with little old me, lol, than go cruising for a potential danger.
Not easy to have a great sex life when you are a single parent. We women know what to do but it seems to be a tad more complicated for single daddies, repeat after me : Awwwwwww
Sunday, 4 March 2012
Spring makes all feel amorous !
After the siberian winter that also meant sexual desert for me and many people I know, we are now starting to feel alive and sexy again thanks to the beautiful weather. Sunshine warms our skin, stimulates our Hypophises through our eyes and vitamin D is running havoc. Yummy ! About time !
This week I have been hit on three times, went on a couple of dates and had a lot of fun. I havent actually had sex yet as I am still getting over a really bad cold but those dates were never the less romantic and full of sexy promises. I had a good giggle when and Italian customer told me that his name was " encora " which means "again" in Italian. I laughed and laughed and asked if he didnt get lots of silly jokes with a name like again, encora. The joke turned on me when he spelled his name : a-n-c-h-o-r-a.
Noooooo ! Spelled like this it does not mean again at all, anchora means the anchor of a ship ! No sexual misunderstanding at all. I was beyond embarrassed when I blushed while apologizing and he said , he will forgive me if I go for a coffee with him. Ambushed ! lol.
I have had so many Italians that I almost overdosed on them and I usually shy away because I know them too well. but at least this one made an effort to make me laugh so I might go on a date and eventually throw in a shag if he makes me laugh some more. There is someone else that I have been cruising for ever but who never gave and I am very much looking forward to getting to know this person better. Everyone walking into the center is smiling and charming, man I love it when the weather makes people feel beautiful in and outside ! Rooaaar !
I am so back and on top of my game !
This week I have been hit on three times, went on a couple of dates and had a lot of fun. I havent actually had sex yet as I am still getting over a really bad cold but those dates were never the less romantic and full of sexy promises. I had a good giggle when and Italian customer told me that his name was " encora " which means "again" in Italian. I laughed and laughed and asked if he didnt get lots of silly jokes with a name like again, encora. The joke turned on me when he spelled his name : a-n-c-h-o-r-a.
Noooooo ! Spelled like this it does not mean again at all, anchora means the anchor of a ship ! No sexual misunderstanding at all. I was beyond embarrassed when I blushed while apologizing and he said , he will forgive me if I go for a coffee with him. Ambushed ! lol.
I have had so many Italians that I almost overdosed on them and I usually shy away because I know them too well. but at least this one made an effort to make me laugh so I might go on a date and eventually throw in a shag if he makes me laugh some more. There is someone else that I have been cruising for ever but who never gave and I am very much looking forward to getting to know this person better. Everyone walking into the center is smiling and charming, man I love it when the weather makes people feel beautiful in and outside ! Rooaaar !
I am so back and on top of my game !
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