Martin bit me !

I had such a wonderful saturday, i worked, I had a yummy dinner with some mates and  I skyped a good friend ! Later I was home relaxing with my cat, skyping with my God-daughter when I got a text from Martin, that east German kid I like.
" Noch wach und langweilig ?  ( are you still awake and bored ? )"
"U wanna see me schatz ?"
"Do U ? "
"Be here in 30 minutes"
"Ill be there in 20."
So far so good, I thought. I was actually very pleased to see Martin and looked forward to his magic kissing expertise.
Yesterday the magic had taken a night off.
As soon as he arrived he jumped on me, quite unusual for him. He was on fire and we soon were heavily making out on my couch, a bit fast for him but I thought WTF. Soon after that we were frolicking happily on my bed aaaaaaaaaaaand : guess who got wood this time ? Yes !
Did he take some viagra ? did he snort coke before he rang me ? I have no idea, but the result  spoke volumes. ( no pun intended , lol )
Of course that was not  Igor good or black men good ...but for Martin that was really good.
Is it because he was more sexual that his kisses were less good ? Or is it my imagination ? on the same morning I saw this beautiful video of Seal and his wife Heidie Klum and I guess I wanted to recreate this atmosphere.
Not toniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
At some point in between kisses , he moaned some nonsense about being a bad man ( no ? really ? I have never met one before, lol ) and he plunged on my neck to.......bite me hard !
Man did I scream ! I really dont know why movies always show women almost in ecstasy when vampires bite them, that crap actually hurts ! All he could say in his defence was that he was a bad man.
Bitch please ! stop talking, stop biting and just do me already !
( My cat saw  Martin bite me and as he kissed her forehead good bye on his way out she kept moving her little head away from his face, hahahahaha what a cool lady my cat is ! hahahahaha.)
So 3 Orgasms later he is practically sleeping.
I had a protective nurturing gesture that perhaps I shouldnt have had, he is after all only a fuckbuddie not a friend, I covered him up with a blanket.
He said he was not going to sleep here (fine by me ) because he wants to sleep in late on Sunday morning, I answered its just as well because I am getting up at 8am anyway,
It went like this :
"Are you working tomorrow then ?"
"No, I never work on Sundays,"
"So why are U getting up so early on a Sunday morning ?"
"Because I want to go to Church"
"Where ?"
"To Church"
"You are actually a believer ? a Church goer and all that ?"
"Yes I am"
"But you cant go to Church tomorrow , you have made love tonight !"
 ( is that what it was ? )
"And ?"
"And you made love then you shouldnt go anywhere near a Church "
"I  made love !  I have not  murdered or aggressed  anyone did I ? besides I am not married therefore I can do as I please, no one got cheated on or betrayed here tonight !"
"You see ! you are getting angry about it "
Honestly what a plonker !
First he bites my neck and now he questions my Christianity ?
I distracted him with more kissing and he was fun again, till he warned jokingly that I need to be careful cause he could be addictive.
Say what !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bitch  please ! I love black men, latinos. eastern europeans, men who get wood on just a smile ( and who dont bite) ! what makes you think someone like me could possibly see more in you that an occasional good cuddle ? pfffff
Cant I be nice to a guy without him putting his nose up in the air ?
A very dear friend told me today that I tend to make my men feel good, not just their bodies but their egos too, must be an extension of my work taking care of people, lol.
I actually had teeth marks on my poor neck and the air head told me that he is not the nice guy I think he is, he is actually a bad one.
Bitch I know bad men, ok.
First they fuck much better than you do , second they dont bite !!!!!!
So he left after a millionth kiss and I was pondering the situation.

Martin acted out of character today, I really hated the biting and the comment about going to Church, and that kid is weird anyway , he helps himself to tap water when I told him there  is bottled water in the fridge, I have lots of beautiful cristal glasses in my kitchen and he chose a plastic shaker ! After his shower he didnt pick one of the many fluffy white towels on my bathroom shelves, he took the smallest feet towel he could find !
Is there any normal men around ?
Ok I will give him one more chance to again be the darling he can be, if he pulls another stunt like that I shall ban him from my bed.
In the meantime I might have a couple of quiet days because I can barely sit straight today, lol. I love such reminders of a great F.... dont you ?

Younger men like older women

As I was skyping with my best friend today, she said this 50 something woman she knows is dating this hot and younger artist. That doesnt surprise me at all.
When I was young I have been ditched a couple of times for older girls, which is something that didnt compute very well with me since we live in a society where youth and looks are worshiped way above character and intelligence.
We are constantly told that we must be tall, hence high heels to look tall, slim, hence expensive cosmetics and unhealthy diets, if possible blonde, duh !, and above all else : young or at least young looking ! hence plastic surgeries and expensive procedures of all sorts.
How ridiculous is that !
It took me years to understand that sexyness is not in your wonder bra or fake tan, sexyness is in your head. Its in the way you smile, its in the way you handle yourself, its the subtle tone in your voice that lets him know you find him interesting, its the spark in your eyes that lets him guess you think he is desirable.
Sexyness is the confidance that comes from knowing you are a great catch in bed and he should be lucky to share some of your goodies for a while.


Now, there is no way to know this before your late thirties, early forties. This comes with experience, but once you do know this, you can really broaden your horizon and take charge of your sexlife fearlessly.
As you gain insight into men you realise you dont need to prawl around on 12 inches heels, make up and revealing clothes to find a man, you dont even need to work that hard to get laid !
Each and everyone I ever seduced , I did so with descent clothes on, no make up save a bit of lipstick, no nail polish, no special fake efforts to pretend I was someone else. This way you know you are attracting people to you, the real you, not some phoney look alike of what is thought of as sexy.




No more waiting for him to aproach you, no hoping for a call either, no panting for one man in particular when you know you can feel as high with any other hotties that you like.


I really think this is the reason why younger men are attracted to me and any confidant mature woman, because I dont care, Im not tryng to create a bond or build a foundation. Ive been there and done that.
Why else would I be able to score men 15 or even 20 years younger than myself ? I never lie about my age, this way Im sure to attract those who want a mature lover.


And why are girls encouraged to hide their age anyway ? this is so immature.
I saw a beauty cream commercial on telly the other day, this is actually a night cream that I use. The promotion was done by Andy Mc Dowell, I dont know her age but she is beautiful and classy. Well, would you believe a attractive, successful lady like her was insisting that we apply that cream carefully to our neck because it is often our necks that betray our age ????
Betray our age ? WTF? Since when is it illegal to age one more year each year?
This is exactly the kind of nonsense that take the power away from women when they reach 30. I was lucky to be blessed with some logic when I was a girl and I decided that this age-hiding business is really silly.
Therefore. I never hide my age, so if a guy wouldnt want to date me cause he is not into older women, he can miss out on something wonderfull and I dont have to worry about him finding out.


I sometimes ask the men I date  why they like me and they pretty much say the same : an older woman is confidant, great in bed, can hold a conversation on many levels,she knows what she wants and what she doesnt  AND she doesnt not care at all about commitments because she has done it all already !
In other words : an older woman is not desperate to find the one, she just wants to have tons of fun !

Simon, bad looks can hide a treasure !

Simon  (name changed) is not at all what you call good looking, he is short, fat, has many scars from surgeries, he fought and won against cancer twice, he is an executive in a national compagnie  and is quite old fashioned.
However.....whenever we meet, which is not often, he turns up with expensive beautiful roses, pastries and makes me laugh really hard. He is so educated and has such a sense of humour, that alone makes him attractive. Sexually speaking he really. really, really knows how to pleasure me, so the hell with his looks ! that was great !

The point of beeing single

Ive been feeling pretty horny since yesterday, it has been a very busy week with very little me time , as was the week before and I had not had sex since that time with Volker 2 weeks ago.
I could have, but there was no one that i liked that was free, Stupid Djamel turned me off with his constant calling, and I think i recently did the whole town so..........I would bump into some of my play mates but we were all running to and from work, Jerome went to senegal, Byron is organising a concert, the other ones i dont want, there was no one new.

Yesterday Volker texted at 3 am, i was actually sleeping. He has done this before, why is he up at 3 am anyway ? Never mind.
Yesterday at work I was thinking about the hotness of  Igor and the romantism of Volker, comparing them, wondering who is hottest, who is best, who makes me feel more. And today I woke up really horny, as I kept wondering which one I should invite over for a " coffee ". I really felt like calling Volker but then he might suspect I like him, which I do, silly I know.
I turned down a booty call from some idiot im not interested in at all.
Bang !
Igor ,the king of wood called , right when I was in my bath....I was pleased
to hear that he was showering and shaving thinking of me, we agreed he could come a couple of hours later and I enjoyed my bath imagining how good this was gonna feel.
He came and we had fabulous mind blowing sex for an hour, at some point I told him to open his eyes and look at me and he was overwhelmed  by how intense this made the whole thing, declared he looooooves shagging me.
Really ? really Igor ? I had no idea ! lol

Later we are relaxing. making small talk, im trying to talk about sex, he is talking about his holls he just returned from, his little girl and works he is having done in his kitchen. Dude ! what did I say about no personal stuff !
Anyway this time he actually made a fuss of my cat when she came to say hello, brownie points for him !
I admit the sex was incredible, it was exactly what I wanted but it was nice also when  he left and I could sit with  my cat, finishing "the Canterville Ghost " by Oscar Wilde, in some old jammies and my face cream on.
The whole point of beeing single is to be able of doing exactly what I wanna do when i want it, without pressure or fear.
Turning down the booty calls I dont want without worrying he might not come back, taking the booty calls I do want without worrying about if he'll respect me in the morning or something stupid like that.

The point is : Having an orgasm or two, knowing I dont have to put up with a snoring and farting idiot  in my bed afterward, my cat and I are quite capable of doing that ourselves thank you,  I can just wear socks and jammies and read all I want without said snorer asking me to come to bed or to turn the light off, YAY !

Besides, a date actually shaves and showers before he goes and get laid, a husband or a boyfriend demand their conjugal right without seducing you or making an effort.

Man I love beeing single, it is wonderfull when you understand the benefits of singledom. What was Bridget Jones complaining about ?

I feel all warm when I see my guys on the street

This week I have run into some of my  "play mates", and each time I had this lovely warm tingle in my tummy.
I saw my favourite Yoruba , Djawad, a bad kisser but a fabulous lover ( shame he is such a dominant macho pig),
I saw Byron so lovely and cuddly ( shame he tends to be klingy sometimes),
I saw Brahim who came to say he was going to Germany and Africa for a while and will call me from there, to which I answered he should call me when he gets back here, ( no real critics here, he really gets me and I get him),
I saw Dylan, sweet Albanian street sweeper who showed me pics of his new baby boy ( shame he is so clumsy but at least he's dropped the teasing and the bad jokes ) ,
I even caught Mark with a pretty black girl, firy sexy Mark ( shame he asked all those silly questions and lies a lot ).
I saw Martin  run after his bus to work , wearing hispainter clothing, ( you would never think he is such a fabulous kisser and a refined romantic lover just by looking at him).
I saw  Igor in a suit, walking his little boy to school, so proper looking,( You'd never know he is such a fantastic sex bomb).
Somehow I feel privileged to know those little secrets about my shag buddies, to know them so intimately , inside  and out.
 Each time we barely had time to say hello because in this country we are all on crazy schedules from 8am to 7pm, but I felt in each case a wave of.......something slightly resembling tenderness I guess, a mix of wonderful sex memories of our bodies sweating together and my  lips bruised from all the millions of kisses, and for a few second I also felt some kind of gratitude for all the oceans of pleasure those men have given me  during so many beautiful nights of sexy madness.


I'm looking very much forward to making more and more love to each of them and even more to some brand new ones too !!!!

In fact ,the only one I feel turned off by, is my psycho stalker whose calls I keep ignoring, his insistance is only spoiling sex memories of him that could have been cool.

Had a bad dream about Martin !

Whenever I have dreamed of a man, it was never a good omen, either he broke up with me the next week or he tried to con me or hurt me, never a good omen indeed.
Whatever  I dream about people I know often proves premonitory, when I was a kid I had this nightmare that my psycho genitor was slashing my tummy with a sharp razor, as I asked why,  she said she would make sure that I would suffer whatever she would suffer and would never allow me to be happy. At the time I truely didnt get what that meant, but I did when said psycho really tried to scar me physically and emotionally till I cut the chord at 36 by filing a restraining order.

Years later I had that weird dream about looking for my girlfriend in this huge house with lots of stairs and windows everywhere, I'd run all over, opening all the windows and doors screaming her name desperately, but she would just stare silently and vanish into thin air. Years later we did have a serious fight but eventually we forgave each other.

I used to dream that Ismet my ex boyfriend was in my kitchen making tea, smiling at me, asking what was so surprising about us making small talk in the kitchen and just as I was wondering by which miracle he came back from his cultural forced marriage horror.....I would wake up crying and a friend would call to say she had seen Ismet in some restaurant  but he had not greeted her in return, completely cutting himself off my life as his tyranical traditions demanded.

So now im freaking out cause I had a bizzare short dream this morning between  feeding my cat and getting up again to let her go out on the balcony.
 Martin, the romantic 29 years old eastern German boy, walks in. He is carrying 3 bunches of flowers, small yellow tulips, small red roses and field flowers. He doesn't give them to me but put them carefully on the floor, like on a grave.
He walks past me and slumbers on my couch watching tv, totally ignoring me, did he even see me ?
I want to make some hot chocolate but my kitchen is ever so dirty and there are dirty dishes piling up to the ceiling, it takes me ages to find a clean pot to warm milk in, but everything is sooo dirty and there are tea towels on the burners ? isn't that a fire hazard ?
I feel lazy  and so very tired, overwhelmed at the thought of doing anything at all, I look at myself and shiver, disheveled, unshowered, wearing a stained teeshirt and some boring cotton knickers, how could I even answer the door looking like that ? what is wrong with me ? and why are those flowers on the floor ? they are for me right ?
Perhaps I should put them in water, where are they ? they are gone ! my flowers are gone ? how ? when ?
I am looking everywhere for them and here they are...... in a closet !
Who puts flowers in a closet ? with no air, no sun nor water ? duh !
It must be that guy Martin, still mindlessly watching  meaningless tv shows on MY tv, ignoring me again.
I am getting ready to scream at him to get out, this is not how you treat flowers !!!!!
Mew mew !!!!! My cat wakes me up.

I am so glad it wasn't real. I wonder what that meant. That was freaky and why was Martin of all the guys I date, why was he making himself at home like this ?
And why did I not have any control at all ?
No control of my date, nor of my appearance, nor of my flowers, not even of the bloody kitchen !!!!!!
it felt like being an old long dead house wife, shudders!!!!!!!!!

P.S.
Exactly 7 weeks later, Martin  broke up with yours truly after a nice roll in the hay, because :
" This is too good to be wasted on casual sex, something so profound belongs to a soul mate connection, and and and  " well fuck you very much mate, of all the stupid reasons to break up with moi !
P.S.
And 5 months later Martin came back with his tail between his legs, lonely and missing me. We had a further  9 months of romantic and wild passion before he did it " once more with feelings " but this time it was a long and loving closure and we cut off all ties for ever.

Taking control away from a bully

A work colleague of mine had a scary encounter with an idiot footballer she was treating alone, but she turned the situation around. Good for her.
She was called out to give this footballer a strong sport massage cause his legs were quite sore from overtraining.
As she arrived she realised it was a client that she always refused to take on again because during the one session she had done his legs last year, he had made her feel uneasy , staring at her as if she were a piece of meat and not a trained professional sport therapist.
Ambushed ! so she pretended not to remember the creep and enquired where exactly the pain was and how it felt, wrote down some notes and told the creep to shower and lay down the massage table on his tummy.
The whole time she handled his back she was feeling unconfortable because he moved his ass ever so slowly in a wouldbe seductive way but not enough to be offensive, so again, she couldnt say anything about it.
When the time came for him to turn around and lay on his back, she observed the procedure, she looked away and held a huge towel up and covered the person up before looking down.
Again he had a disturbing creepy little flame in his eyes, normally when this happen she just apply stronger pressure till it hurts so much guys forget about flirting and go back to beeing normal clients again. But this footballer was so muscular, so trained, he hardly felt the pressure at all !
As she was working on his abs, he was getting more and more aroused, an erection started to rise under the towels and she felt extremely uncomfortable, almost victimised, did I mention they were all alone ? everyone was away for lunch. He had the upper hand and she was begining to feel humiliated.
Suddenly she rembered.
Her friends always admire her for her courage and non nonsense, fearless  attitude towards men.  Was she really letting that creep scare her like this ? what would she advise a friend in such a predicament ? Doesnt she always say never accept blackmail and never bend to bullies ?
In a moment she turned the situation around, took control.
She smiled at the creep and pretended to seduce him rather roughly.
What do u want ? she demanded.
He mumbled.
Instead of cowering away from the menacing rising erection she became the agressor and jumped on his manhood with a firm hand.
Is that what you want ? a hand job ? huh ?
He seemed a little lost and and took her hand away saying ouch he would rather do it himself if she didnt mind.
He wanked as she washed her hands and gathered her things to leave.
As she left he looked really silly with his  hands dirty and his face flushed.

Not only did she turn a potentially dangerous situation into an embarrassing one for the potential agressor, she took away the control from him, she took it back and he went from intimidating agressor to a sad wanker.
She went from a frightened alone potential victim to a confidant strong woman who walked away unharmed and unafraid.
It is as if the mere fact of wanting his attention rather that fearing it completely stopped the bully's appetite for intimidating her, he became what he had wanted her to be, dirty and embarassed.
That will teach the  S.O.B.

What kind of idiot goes on a date when he is in pain !

I had such a great Sunday yesterday ! I actually stayed in bed late cuddling to my lovely cat, I didnt  even go to the gym, nothing.....the dolce farniente in all its splendour !
In the afternoon I cooked a nice meal for my children and we had so much fun playing with our cat, eating and catching up on the gossips. Martin had tried to call me the night before so I knew I might see him that night and when he rang again I told him to come around 9pm so I'd have time to tidy up after my children left.
Martin came, saw, started to conquer..... all was well.
We were kissing and cuddling in my bed and the magic was back on !
He was gazing into my eyes and I was wondering if this day could get any better because it had been perfect so far....... Stupid me !
Why did I have to open my big mouth, even silently ????
In between kisses I opened my eyes and saw Martin cringe with pain !
I jumped 3 feet asking worriedly if I had hurt him but he admitted he had made a wrong move 5 days ago and squeezed a nerve between 2 dorsals and had been hurting like mad ever since.
Dude seriously !
What kind of an idiot goes on a date when he has a painfull back ???????
Was he that desperate to get laid ? doubtful, cause he is really cute and charming.
Is it because he really really likes me ?
Duh ! then he should have gone to a chiropractor before calling me.
This is so typical  of men, they try to will the pain away thinking they will be pussies if they consult immediately.
Naturally this ruined the mood, but we sat up to watch Batman, at some point I was so focused on the movie, that I didnt realise he was trying to move awkwardly to kiss me, lol. I switched position so that we could kiss and.....boy oh boy I could feel the magic again !
Yum !
Suddenly he was too much in pain to move, I was so embarrassed I massaged his neck ever so gently with lavender oil and it helped a bit.
When he left I said jokingly that I had a schlecht gewissen  ( a guilty conscience ) that he had come here tonight in spite of his predicament.
He replied  Das solls du aber  that  means that I should indeed have a schlecht gewissen and smiled cheekily, well he is after all only 29.
Who will ever decypher the mind of men ? they are a mystery even to me.
Dude if you are in pain like this, do not go on a date with  a sex queen like me, no matter how many pain killers you were on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Having said that, I am mighty flattered that his desire for me was stronger that pain. ( batting my eyelids now )
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