Am I grooming guys to be better men ?

I have decided to quit love a few years ago after my second husband broke my heart and live the way I do now. It works for me.
It doesnt mean I never  form any bonds to the people I date, I even have something that could be described as feelings for some of them. Specially the ones I often dally with.
However I am very serious to the commitment I made to remaining single and I occasionally am reminded of the price Im paying for my independance.

As intimacy devellops between a shagbuddy and myself, there will be times where things get deeper, not just  sexually, you start to talk about your life , you even council and comfort each others, compare notes on life's many issues. You even have a hard time letting go sometimes and you will be hugging and kissing good night by the door a lot longer that you should.
I often have shag flash backs on the next day , thinking how fantastic last night was or hmmm that thing he does with his tongue or the way he moves his hips or the scent of his skin when it sweating against mine, that vein that pulses on his forehead, how intense his eyes are, how he screamed, how he.....

Ok ! moving on.

Thats what I always tell myself to snap out of this lovely flashbacks.
Whenever I feel like sending a nice text I will resist the impulse and send a saucy one instead, thats my way of saying :
"sure I like you, I like you a lot but this is only sex.
Tenderness and loving are not part of the deal mister."

I have been known to run away from guys I knew I would lose control with, I even go as far as beeing quite obnoxious to someone I really really have strong feelings for, I make sure they jump out of my life and never come back, I double lock all the doors to my heart to make sure whoever he is can not ever get back in again.

Dont you feel sorry fo me, this what I want.

The funny thing is....I often get dumped by my lovers because there always comes a time when they want more. Or I walk away from them because I want more, lol.
How many times have I had this dreaded conversation with a shagbuddy :
 we get on well, you make me feel wonderfull, you are girlfriend material, I know you like me more that you say, you and I have  got a good thing going .....bla bla bla .....if you are not gonna take what I have to give I will find a girl who will.


And after the closure of our sexual friendships, most of those men end up marrying or living with the very next girl they date after me !
Im thinking of this cute saoudian I saw for months, when it became clear to him that there was no more I was willing to give...he left and next time I bumped into him he wore a wedding ring and held the hand of his pregnant wife !
Mark, hot gorgeous nigerian, slammed the door shouting he wondered what it was about him that I figured was not good enough for me. Last time I saw Mark he walked proudly hand in hand with an unsuspecting girlfriend.
Byron, always complaining that I never called him except for nookie, Byron is settling with a cute blondie and Im happy for him because he deserves it.
Pesha, hot blond, forever swinging from a "lets have a shagfest" mode to an "I want to be loved" mode, is now living with a girlfriend who probably is unaware that the whole city of Bern and Zurich, men and women included, have revisited the kamasoutra with her man. lol.
Jawad, the best shag in Bern, told me he wants a woman who will wash up after he's cooked for her.


So yes, they were ready for commitments, but I dont like beeing pressured and I dont want to belong to one man in particular, I really dont.
There are so many many men who have got so much to offer, I would hate to miss out on great sex with a hot stranger just because Im bound to one very man.
Since open relationships and unfidelity are not an option for me.......singlehood is the answer to my sexual happyness.

But I cant help wondering..... how did those men, who were into one night stands and casual sex when I met them, how did they suddenlly turned into boyfriends and husbands ? 
Is it me ?
Do I mess them up so badly they will quickly grab a nice girl who will make them feel safe and in control ? Could it be that anyone else will be easy  to handle after me ?


Or do I give them a taste of something so wonderfull they want to have this all the time , and for real ? Once Ive put them in the "girl" position do they realise they have been pigs and now they understand how women feel therefore they will settle down nicely.

It cant  be entirely bad for an asshole to feel first hand what he made many women feel before he met me, can it ? 
If at least they stop  hurting  women after they realise how painfull it is, then I have served some purpose, and made a few ladies quite happy, lol.

Am  I screwing  my lovers up ? or am  I grooming  them for other women who will make some good out of my left overs?
What says you ?